1 yr old crying before naps, chronic short napper and early waking. Please Help

[laura034]

Hi well yesterday was a tricky one Ethan woke at 6.20am and thankfully he was in a great mood and didn't seem tired until his naptime which I've set at 10.15am he was asleep in minuites but woke less than 20mins later screaming his head off. I didn't do walk in walk out as he was inconsolable and took quite a while to calm down. He was then happy until next nap at 2pm which was in the car as we went out this lasted 30mins. I put him to bed early with the hope that he would catch up what he'd missed, but just ended up with an earlier wake up this morning (6am) should I stick with the set nap time, should I go back to 3naps seems he doesn't seem to be able to sleep longer. I hate seeing him look so tired and this morning he is whiney and tired already. I wish I knew what was happening with him. Could this be all the nap he needs seems I've been fighting this so long. Thanks in advance for your help. Laura

[babybarr]

I think you should give it a few more days, I know for me it took a week to get any kind of good nap from DS.  If after a few more days it doesn't work we'll go back to the drawing board.  What time did he go to bed last night?  It may not have been early enough (although don't shoot me for saying that after you had an earlier morning!)

[laura034]

Bedtime was 6.45pm, I daren't go earlier everytime I've done that it works once then I get 5.30am starts. I'll stick with the naps as best I can I didn't make it until 10.15 today for his first nap he was so grumpy. I put him in his cot at 9.35 and by 9.40am he was fast asleep. He slept 25mins I tried to resettle him, but he just got so upset I gave up after 10mins. Ethan is so cross today he keeps crying over every little thing. I really appreciate you giving your time to help me. Laura

[babybarr]

Do you think he may have reflux or an ear infection or something?  Has he been checked at the Drs recently?

I can totally understand why you are apprehensive about early bedtimes but I worry that the situation will get worse if we can't get any extra sleep into him and given he won't do good naps that's the only place we can do it right?  For us it's the same - the only point I can get any extra sleep into my DS is with an early night.  He doesn't necessarily wake up earlier either esp. if he's OT.

really appreciate you giving your time to help me. Laura

I wish it was making more of a difference

How was the rest of your day (and night) ?

[laura034]

Hi, I cheated for the afternoon nap and rocked him in his pushchair so got 1hr 20min out of him as we were out for tea and knew we wouldn't be back in time for an early bedtime. I actually took him to the doctors worrying about an ear infection, but they said he was fine. They laughed at me when I said I was worried about naps, she said I should be happy he sleeps at night, and when he's tired he'll sleep, but I know thats not true of Ethan. even as a newborn he needed to be put to sleep or he'd stay awake for hours. When he is asleep in his pushchair I watched him and he does a massive jolt at 20mins and he starts rubbing his eyes if I rock him then he doesn't wake up, but in his cot I guess this scares him awake before he's ready. Thanks Laura 

[babybarr]

You could try going in before the 20min mark when he's in his cot and putting pressure on him so he doesn't wake himself - or tuck him in really snug again for the same reason, I would def give it a go to see whether that helps him to transition.

[laura034]

Hi well things have got worse and Ethans started to refuse his morning nap in his cot, probably because I've been letting him sleep in his pushchair for his afternoon nap to try and get more sleep into him. I tried to do walk in walk out with him, but the problem is on the walk in he screams hysterically and tries to cling onto me and is then more upset than if I leave again. Today I only lasted 15mins before I got him up I don't cope well with his crying it makes me feel all panicked inside. Does anyone have any suggestions for when I try to get him to nap in his cot later?

[babybarr]

You could try sitting next to the cot - hand on him if necessary and just keep repeating "go to sleep now," or something similar.

How was your night last night?  Sorry he is still giving you a tough time but yes it may be the pushchair...  How has he been sleeping in the pushchair atm? Did you try the going in at 20mins?

[momtonb&ab]

you have had some great advice from laura and maybe sitting next to him by his cot repeating something like 'go to sleep now' until he starts napping better might be a good idea.   i personally think that napping in their cribs is key here - so i would probably stop using the pushchair at all for sleeping and just focus on getting him sleeping in the day.  once he is more rested, then slowly start removing yourself from the room as he gets himself to sleep.

hugs, hang in there.  it is hard work soemtimes, but it will get better. 

[laura034]

Hi just an update I extended Ethans A time and he is going to sleep in his cot fine again, but still waking early 18mins am nap 30mins pm. The nights are still great thank goodness 11.5hrs -12hrs. I just wish I knew what was causing this, this morning he was screaming on waking from his first nap with his eyes still closed still on his tummy so I waited to see if he'd settle back down and he did for 1min and then he was screaming again I tried to shush him back to sleep, but it didn't work. I guess we will just have to carry on with this I'm just so scared his night sleep will get messed up too if he gets OT. thanks Laura

[babybarr]

Stick with it.  I wonder if you can try to extend the naps with the ssh or wiwo and really give it a good go.  i.e. for 45mins at a time and for at least 3 days.  I did wiwo for 45mins with my DS for nap time - the first day he didn't go back to sleep, the second day I did it for 5mins or so and he slept about another half hr and the 3rd day he took a longer nap.  I wonder if it's worth trying.  You will have to be focussed for it and strong.  I made sure I'd had a cup of tea and some chocolate before he woke lol!

[laura034]

Hi well I have been muddling on but things have been getting worse again. Yesterday went like this
Awake 6.20
Nap 10am WIWO for 15 mins with screaming was horrible. Napped for 25mins I didn't have the heart to try and extend after the crying before.
Nap 1.45pm 30mins wouldn't go back to sleep
In bed for night 6.45pm

Woke this morning 5.30am. Please is there anything else I can try Ethan looks awful, he has bags under his eyes and is miserable, and I am so depressed I keep crying and I can't sleep at night because I am dreading the next day. Thanks Laura

[babybarr]

Massive ((((hugs)))) hun.  I am not surprised you're upset.

I wonder (and this is a bit risky) but what about trying a much earlier first nap.  I mean he is clearly OT from so many bad naps and although night time is helping him through it's obv. not enough.   Start with 3hrs A time from his waking - watch him and as soon as he seems a bit sleepy get him to bed and lets see what happens.  He'll either fall asleep straight away in which case we know he needs some super early naps (am and pm) to get him a bit more caught up OR he'll scream to get up.  In which case we *may* need to see what happens with a much longer A time to see if he'll be more tired to nap longer.  TBH I *think* we'll have more luck with the early nap to begin with anyway.

Also I would be really trying to get him in bed for nearer 6pm.  It looks like he is at least trying to catch up sleep at night time.

Have you tried white noise with him?  It may be a little too late to introduce it but it also may be worth a shot.

Hang in there. 
On a side note - you don't think there's more going on with him?  Perhaps reflux or tummy issues? 

[laura034]

thanks for getting back to me apart from teething which we give meds for I think he is just really tired he does show sleep cues after only 2.5hr a time in the morning, and if we are in the car he sleeps then but I am always worried that he'll just scream if I put him down before he's ready. Today hasn't gone so good we did 3hr 45 A time and he didn't cry before the nap, but when he woke after 20mins he was screaming and shaking for 20mins after I got him up, and then the afternoon nap after another 3hrs A time was still only 30mins. I will do a bit earlier bedtime but as we have always struggled with 5.30am starts I daren't go too early. Thanks again Laura

[babybarr]

I think tomorrow try the earlier nap definitely.  TBH it sounds like something is a bit amiss with the shaking too.

If you're used to early starts anyway I would just try to go with early bedtime as then he's at least catching up a bit.

I also think if he's only giving you a 20/30min nap then your A time after needs to be much shorter.