Need help but not sure EASY is the problem!

[mkaes]

I am glad your night was a bit better! Soon enough you will get more of these, until one day you have them a bit almost consistently. It is amazing what a little uninterrupted sleep will do for you, isn't it? I wouldn't worry about props right now, you just need sleep! The beauty of the BW is that you will have the tools to deal with the props later (when you are a bit more rested).

[~inbalance~]

So glad your night was better!  There will be good ones along with the bad ones too.  We do a short wind down, only about 10mins or so.  I am a bit of a prop for F as well, I don't feed him to sleep but I do rock him until he's almost asleep and then put him down.  Tackle one thing at a time.  You know, I was really worried about transitioning him from napping in the wrap to in the crib, but he actually did it really easily, so hoping the same will go for you with the swing to bed transition, when the time comes. 

[besjoux]

Thank you for the encouragement. I will worry about the props later. Just happy that my little guy is laid back and sleeping.

Sooooo, do I wake him at 8? I am thinking so considering I'd like to get that early bedtime. He's done good and Mama is proud

Yes, sleep has seriously made a huge different right now. I feel tons better.

[besjoux]

Well, extending his A time didn't work. He took a 30 minute nap and is screaming his head off now. Way OT. He yawned 2x's before I could even get upstairs. So, I guess after 60 minutes he has to be asleep and needs that 30 minute winddown? Maybe just in the AM, I am not sure.

[*Liz*]

How much did you extend by?

You are right that the A often is low first thing in the morning.

[besjoux]

only 10 minutes. Yeah, he is WAY OT....won't stop crying. I'm just letting him cry to let him wear himself out. Now I'm tired because hearing him cry is exhausting. Got to get back at it. My poor toddler is severly neglected this AM. I hope he gets better later on or my older one is going to be upset by the end of the day. #2 might have to get the shaft a bit, crying or not. How DO you handle it with 2 when the youngest is out of control! Doesn't help having a 2 story house. Tomorrow I think we will do a very short A time in the AM.

[Alison_3]

As a mum of three refluxers that hasn't had a decent night of sleep in 5+ years, I understand how sleep deprivation can affect your day to day life.  So here's what I do and have done in no particular order.

Get the reflux under control.  All of these NWs lead me to believe that his reflux is not under control.  My guess is that he's crying because he's in pain.  Allowing a reflux baby (or any baby) to cry can really just make this worse.  He's getting all worked up from crying and inevitably going to reflux more.  Reflux meds can take up to 2 full weeks to work and even longer to heal the damage to the esophagus.  I would consider giving Prevacid another shot and time to work.  Are you eliminating anything from your diet?

As far as your DS1...try to make some time during the day to do something fun with him.  Even if it's just 10 minutes while DH tends to the baby, it's well worth it.  He needs to feel important too.  This time around I had to deal with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn that was in the NICU and had other medical issues and reflux.  What did I do?  I tried my best to meet the needs of all of them.  Sure, it wasn't perfect or ideal, but each day it got better.   I would also really consider looking for a babysitter.  (I know you said you're looking for one).  I have a few teenagers in our development that would come over and play with the boys while I tended to DD or if she was sleeping I could get some things done.  Well worth the money!

Marriage...IMO, a good baby can even test a marriage.  A reflux baby can REALLY test a marriage.  DD is a year old tomorrow and DH and I just went out on our first date night on Friday.  It's hard, I really get that.  What we did was try to do little things together...watch a show together, head up to bed as soon as the kids were asleep and just talk, go for walks with the kids & talk, etc. It wasn't much, but it did go a long way in helping us stay close.  As you kids get older it will be easier to do things with DH again. 

Sleep deprivation- surprisingly enough I think I've just gotten used to it.  On the days/nights I was at the end of my rope, I just kept thinking that my poor DS/DD didn't want to be up all night screaming, fussing during the day, etc.  It was up to me to help make things better.  I sort of took it as a challenge and boy let me tell you it was, especially with DS2!  That being said, you have to take care of yourself.  I don't have any magic mix for getting some well deserved sleep, but I think helping your LO's reflux would be a good place to start.   If you suspect you have PPD, you owe it to your kids, your DH, and most importantly you to get some help. 

I always go with the saying that:  sometimes the days are long, but the years are short. 

There is a great support thread on the Colic, Reflux, and Crying Board you may want to check out.  The ladies on the PPD board are great listeners.  Use BW to its full potential and I really think together we can help you and your family. 
 

[squidge1]

I don't know if I can help or not, I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain as my 1st baby was a lot like that. I used to cry and cry and think terrible thoughts to the extent that I scared myself. She is now 15 months old and sleeps through no probs. She was difficult in every aspect- weaning, sleeping at night, seperation anxiety. Its not for everyone but I just want to say what I did. I tried everything then in desperation took her to a homeopath. Within a wk she strated to calm down and her physical development increased tenfold (she was really behind at 1yr old). The main difference was the nighttimes. I would always reccomend homeopathy now to anyone, although I accept some people don't believe it works. I hope ur baby settles soon and you find ur answer. X

[besjoux]

FWIW, I am certainly not "allowing" him to cry....I don't have a choice in the matter. He cries when he's overtired. He cries despite me holding him, putting him in the swing, putting him down, etc, etc. Often I put him down and shhh him in the swing. that seems to work best. however, today I had a toddler running around (as I do everyday). I can't abandon him and have to check on him. I haven't found a good solution to this, I am trying.

I should edit to say that he really doesn't cry all that much in general. He really only cries before naps when I've timed things poorly (as I did this morning). It seems there is SUCH a short window at this age. He never cries in the middle of the night unless we don't attend to him when he wakes up. He just wakes a LOT. We shall see if tonight is also  better.

[Alison_3]

That is why I think the crying is from more than just OT.  OT and reflux is a bad combo as you know.  I know you're trying and it's hard when you're in the thick of it.  I'm just thinking that if you get his reflux under control, the crying/fussiness will lessen, the NWs will get better, and overall your day and nights will be a million times better for your entire family. 

[*Liz*]

There is a big difference between leaving a baby to cry and letting them cry when you are there. I have had days where Megan has been screaming on my chest and I have been trying to read a book to Jacob at the same time. That is how I deal with it - I just try and do both as best as I can.

I put Megan in the sling a lot on a fussy day - she eventually calms and naps - and I can carry on with my day. Thatis what Megan does when I take J to playgroups etc as well.

And of course you do have to prioritise - I mean - if DS1 needs a nappy change you will have to put DS2 down while you do it. Of course you will.

I do keep Megan with me is she is crying and OT or whatever though. My toddler doesn't like it as such but I think it is important that he understands that his sister is upset and that is why he is having to wait a little. That is how we will all adapt to being a family of 4 rather than 3. I explain to him why Megan is crying as well - tummy ache, hunger, tired etc etc.

And of course you can use your voice to comfort as well as your arms when you need your arms free. So that your youngest knows his mama is there but your oldest gets his needs met as well.

And I use the TV as well, and get his beloved cars out. Bad days are not days for baking or art projects. We get out of the house as well - Megan in the sling and Jacob having a run around.

A big big big deep breath and a vow not to get cross or frustrated helps as well - to remember DS is fussing through lack of attention and DD is screaming with reflux pain and tiredness - and remind myself that I can't stop or prevent either - but I can be a kind Mama and carry on caring for my kids.

[Mrs Coops]

Liz you sound such a lovely mama, can I have some of your patience please?

[~inbalance~]

More (((hugs))) Julie.  I hope you don't think by any means that anyone here is implying anything negative.  The truth is, handling a baby and toddler is really hard under even the best circumstances, and we all understand exactly what you're going through.  In fact, you probably wouldn't find a more supportive group of mamas anywhere.  We're here to help you sort it out and get through it.  It's a step by step process, and the beginning is very hard because you don't know where to start.  But I know bit by bit you will figure it out.  I echo what pp have been saying, you need to get the reflux under control, otherwise there is no point worrying about naps, NWings, or EASY, it will just be too stressful.  I was really in the same spot only a matter of weeks ago and we are already doing so much better.  Now that F's reflux is getting better, the routine part is getting much easier.   

[*Jo*]

Ive been wondering about you doing a diet elimination as well, try to eliminate all dairy perhaps to see if that helps, we had reflux AND MPI at the same time so those two combined really hurt Caleb.

I know its hard not to stress or worry about whats going on, have you tried just putting EASY out the window for a couple of days, watching your LO and seeing what he does?

one thing I did when Caleb was at his worst, and I was sleep deprived and a wreck, was taking it hour by hour. Every hour I made it through without crying I gave myself a mental trophy. I would look at the clock and instead of thinking "only 6 hours till bedtime" i would think "only 20mins till 1pm and Ive made it through this hour" and it felt really good, at the end of the day I had about 8 or 9 mental trophy's sitting on my shelf

[besjoux]

I'm surprisingly not worried about the crying. I know that once he is OT and I miss the sleep window (2 yawns and he's done) then he needs to cry to wear himself out. I'm there for him unless I have to run downstairs and check on my DS1. NOW (as of today) I have 2 swings soooooooooooooo he can be downstairs or upstairs. Ohhhh my feet are tired though, the stairs gave me a workout.