What am I doing wrong?

[ericapt]

Hi everyone-
I'm posting here feeling very desperate for advice.  I'm really confused and frustrated right now.  My LO is 1 month old and I can NOT figure out her A time or how to get her down more easily for naps.  She takes quite a while to nurse, so by the time she finishes and I change her diaper it's time for winddown and nap.  Both naps this morning I started the winddown only 35 minutes after she woke from her previous nap and it still took me an hour to get her to finally go to sleep.  So, this is what the morning was like:

6:30 am   nurse
7:05 am   began winddown routine, she was yawning 5 minutes after I started (I've been holding/rocking her and she'll be almost asleep then her eyes pop open again)
8:00 am   FINALLY asleep after almost an hour of trying

9:30 am   nurse
10:10am  began winddown routine and then she started yawning (same method as above)
11:00am  FINALLY asleep

So, I know I'm using AP to get her to sleep, but I figured with starting so early she would fall asleep more quickly.  What am I doing wrong?  I'm feeling like a bad mother and hate to say this, but I don't have the time or patience to spend an hour ever nap time getting her to sleep.  I know that sounds horrible and I would do anything for my children, but I have a 2 1/2 year old as well and he can't be by himself or sit with me for almost an hour 4 times a day.  So, what do I do??  I want to help her sleep so she is getting the rest she needs, but I can not do this for 45 minutes to an hour every time.  WHY DOES SHE TAKE SO LONG??? AM I STILL MISSING HER WINDOW?  ANY SUGGESTIONS?  I'm desperate and TIRED!   Please help if you can.  Thank you in advance.

Erica

[anna*]

THis might sound silly, so apologies, but have you tried just putting her down in her crib as soon as she's calm? Is she swaddled?

[ericapt]

anna*
Yes, I've tried just putting her down when she's calm and she will lie there for a few minutes then start to grunt/moan which then turns into full blown crying.  She is swaddled in the Miracle Blanket.  Not sure what else I can do.  Like I said, I feel bad, but I can't devote 1 hour several times a day to getting her to nap because that isn't fair to my 2 1/2 year old.  Plus, he won't sit in another room without me or stay with me for that full time (not that I can blame him).  How do others with older children get their LO to fall asleep in less time?  Her room is very dark with white noise going.  Not sure what else I can do to help.  Sigh.  I feel very frustrated and defeated.

Erica

[anna*]

Will she sleep in a sling (unswaddled)? In your position I would probably just pop her in the sling straight after feed time and then go about your day with her brother, and have her sleep at least most of the time in the sling until she's a bit older. When she's caught up on sleep you could introduce one nap per day in the cot (using shush-pat) and then aim for some more independent sleep at around 10-12 weeks old, maybe starting over a weekend when you have some support.