Sleep issues with 2nd child

[Ronster]

I really need some help please!

Even though this is my 2nd child and I managed to do EASY very succssfully with my 1st, for some reason I feel like I have no idea what the hell I am doing this time and we're struggling. Maybe it's because i was able to focus my entire time on getting DS1 into EASY but now he's a boisterous toddler and I can't focus everything on DS2's routine. I'm starting to worry that we'll never get into a good routine!

Problems are around getting to sleep for naps and night feeds.

DS2 is 12 weeks old. I've been trying to do 3 hour EASY since the beginning (as soon as he was old enough to go 3 hrs between feeds).  I say "trying" because  we can't seem to get it right. i cant settle him for sleep and he can't transition through a 45 min nap yet (I think he's OT when I put him down - I'm working on that). However in the last couple of weeks he seems to have moved himself to closer to 4 hours between feeds.

I'm using shh pat to help him get off to sleep and it seems to be working eventually. I don't now if I am doing the right thing by waiting a while before I start shh pat after he's gone down? I tend to put him down, leave him for a while and if he starts fussing/crying go in and do shh pat. Everytime I've done that though, he has got quite upset and it's taken a long time to get him settled. For the last 2 days I've done shh pat right from the start of putting him down and the same thing has happened. He's calm when he goes down but then escalates into a bit of a frenzy as sleep starts to overtake him (I think it's an OT frenzy) Also I don't understand how doing shh pat is avoiding accident parenting? Surely helping him get to sleep in that way could become accidental parenting? Won't he just get used to shh pat to fall asleep?

Until about 2 or 3 weeks ago he would just fall asleep on his own without any help so I'm now worried I've done something to make him need help. Or it could just be that he's OT when he goes down.

We can't seem to get night feeds/waking times right. I give him feed at 7 before bed then DF between 10 - 11. He fusses and makes noise any time between 3 and 4. Most of the time i feed him when he does that, but sometimes in my exhaustion I put his paci back in and we both go back to sleep, Then he wakes at 5ish to be fed and that throws off our day feed/sleep because he then doesn't wake again will 9. I've experimented with not giving him DF (I didn't DF DS1 at this age and he slept 7-7 from 11 weeks) but he wakes at exactly the same time 3-4ish) whether he's had DF or not. Could this be just habitual waking and not hunger? It's strange that he wakes at same time whether his last feed was 7pm or 10. Actually the last few nights his 3-4am wake time has moved to 4.30 - 5 (with DF) so then we get the same problem with throwing off the day if i feed him then.

I'd really appreciate any tips/ideas as to what i'm doing wrong or what else I could be doing! It just took nearly an hour to get him to sleep for nap (put him down after 1 hour 15 of A time) and he screamed for most of that time. Luckily DS1 was having his afternoon nap so I was able to put the time in. It would've have been terrible if he was awake becuse I coudl't have stayed with DS2 for an hour! he only slept 20 mins and woke in a state. DS1 was up then so i couldn't work on getting him back. dont think it'd have worked anyway.

Thank you!

[elmarie]

bump

[Colin Macs Mom]

bumping again - if you like Ronster I can move this to And Then There Were Two

[Maxmiliansmom]

Hi there! Big hug... I have one child, turning 1 in a few days and I often wonder how anyone handles 2!! Its amazing to me and you are doing the best you can which is all we can really do:-)

Im not an expert, but from my experience and what I can remember both from the book and our routine, the advice i can offer is this:

I belive it is important you stick to 3 hour easy for now, even tho it seems he can go longer.

The OT is so hard in the early months because so little gets them over stimulated.. I remember my LO was falling asleep on his own for the first 4 week and then all of a sudden that changed... (thats when i started reading BW) Turns out that around this time they start to stay awake a bit longer and get stimulated by as little as looking at your face. So keep the stimulation as little as possible.

We did shh/pat for about 3 weeks before I could stop with it :-) so it works and it didnt become a prop for us, but you are right that it can be. So it is important you understand how it works. There is a link on here that explains it into details if you need to refresh your memory.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26671.0

I remember I would shh/pat straight away to begin with, never waited for him to cry, but im not sure wheather its the right way to go. it did work for us.

Now, shh/pat is hard work. You have to do it every time when you start, be consistent. If your partner can help you so you take turns thats great. You can even use the white noise sound if shhhhing is hard to do.

As far as the night feeds I remember that everything that needs to be fixed in the night can be solved in the day, so maybe for now, concentrate on the day routine, getting the 3 hours easy right and the naps right and maybe nights will get better too?...

I hope someone else will give you more advice and good luck! Hang in there and get as much rest as possible yourself. XOX