Structured activities with a 1 yo?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

DH and I were talking about structured activities the other day.   Now that we're solidly on 1 nap, A times are long!  Austin comes along on errands (and is very helpful holding things in the cart!) and we take lots of walks, go to the playground, etc.  But when we're just home we end up just playing in the living room a lot.  Austin has tons of toys and now that he's walking he usually just wants to roam around and do stuff himself.  He's not interested in us playing with him most of the time!  We'll start to read a book or play with a toy and he'll come over and take it away.  LOL.

Anyhow, just curious about how often other people do structure activities with their LOs at this age?  Numbers?  Shapes?  Art project-type stuff?

Thanks!

[RachelC]

Check this thread out:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=70743.0

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Thanks, Rachel. I was actually checking out that thread this morning, I was more just wondering how often people actually do these kinds of activities with their 1 yo?  I guess if he were in daycare he would be doing structured kind of stuff every day but here we're often doing other household-type stuff while he's playing and we're wondering if we should be taking time each day to do something planned or is that over the top?  Just wondering what other people do....

[georgeo]

Tagging along as I'm curious too:)

[Katet]

I think at the 1yo they are "explorers" so really they don't want structure, they just want to do what ever happens.

I am a huge believer that life is "too organised" for children & they don't get much of a chance to just "be", if he is looking for you to do things with him then yes doing things that he seems interested in is of value, but if he is still being a "free spirit" then that is what he needs now.

At 2yo I remember both of mine loving dong puzzles & matching type games, but at 1yo mostly it was just about movement. There is so much they are taking in about the world it doesn't really need to be more organised.

I never sat down & did organised things (apart from reading a story) until they started asking me to & neither of my children are slow at learning, infact quite the opposite.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Thanks, Kate.  That's more or less what we were thinking but it's always nice to hear from those who've BTDT. 

[Katet]

I (personally) do believe we live in a world that is "over organised" & "over structured" & I think that is a "fault" of a time poor cash rich world, we can pay the $$ to take our child to an organised activity where we get to socialise with other parents or we can take them to the park & have to them have just as much fun (but maybe not as much for us ) We had a Birthday party for Ds1 (7) at the park, just a BBQ & had balls etc, I did have 2 organised games but mostly they played on the playground equipment & played soccer, rugby & cricket & just "played"... all the boys enjoyed themselves & DS1's best mate said to his Mum, "X's bowling party was fun, but we didnt' get to spend much time with each other, I think (my son's name) was better" Which really made me realise that they can still have fun with out structure.

[elf]

I totally 100% agree with Kate on this one.  I won't go on and on about it, but I've done a lot of reading about this.  When my daughter was 1 I did start taking her to gymbaroo and other structured activities, but this was mainly for me as well as it was social with the other mums.  She is now 3 and has not been in any 'structured' environment and I watch her in awe as she plays independently, makes her own fun and has amazing concentration.  When she does her craft at playgroup I watch the other Mums help their kids and say, 'this is how you do it'.  Even then I leave my daughter to make her own creation with the craft that is there, and don't expect her to conform even now (maybe it's the artist in me!).  With DS, I haven't done any activities with him yet.  Because of all the 3 year old toys we have around the house he generally works it out, finds his own fun on his own and left to his own devices.  Obviously I will build blocks with him and read to him and give him one on one time.  I have over the years questioned myself about the whole structured activity thing, mainly because there is so much out there these days for us to take our kids to - sort of like the curriculum is there for 2 year olds now!  I don't beat myself up about the fact that my daughter helps me with the supermarket shopping as that is now an activity she enjoys, and if I ask her to put three apples in the trolley she finds them in the supermarket and counts them etc.  She understands the concept of money, that we earn it, then spend it and food is more important than having more toys.  I also think it teaches them other life skills, such as life isn't always about having fun every single minute of the day (if it was my husband would be surfing all day!, but the reality is, jobs need to be done and that is life - well our life anyway   Left to their own devices, children are very good at organising themselves and a skill I believe is really important.  The other morning when I went to my daughters room to get her up for the day she had gotten out all her nappies on her floor and I said, 'what are you doing?'.  She said, 'I've made a pattern'.  When I looked closely she had 1 pink nappy, then one white nappy, 1 pink nappy, 1 white etc all around her room in a big circle.  The next morning she had placed a pair of knickers in between each nappy to extend the pattern!  I found this amusing as given the fact that I already think we have too many toys, she still will find games and learning through everyday objects.  I don't think there is anything wrong with structured activities - in fact we still do gymbarro and swimming etc, but I don't think you need to think that you aren't doing enough by Austin by not organising his day too much.  We spend a lot of time at the park, beach, playground and now that DD is off to Kindy next year, I am beginning to feel really pleased that her first 3.5 years of life was being a free spirit.  There's no rush   I am intending on just letting DS do his own thing and haven't even thought about gymbaroo for him yet.  I decided long ago that I didn't want to hear the words, 'I'm bored' in our house.  I think if kids get used to doing only the fun things all day, then they come to expect that.  Again, totally my opinion and others may totally disagree.  Maybe it's because I'm a teacher that I think this, but I do think there is plenty of time to be told what to do.  And once you're in structured education then it's for a long long time.... stimulation comes in many forms...  You do a great job so will no doubt have activities for him without even realising it.  Interested in others opinions too so will be following along as the whole 'structured' thing has been quite a topic of discussion around lots of mums I catch up with...  I was at the park the other day and another mother asked me what activities I was doing with my son.  I quite confidently said, 'nothing'!  I mean there he was, out in the fresh air and crawling after a ball and raising his hands in the air with excitement watching the older boys play footy - I would take that sort of activity any day for my son at 1 year old...

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Thanks for the thoughts, ladies.  I agree that our kids' lives are generally too structured these days.  It's hard to not feel like he's missing out on something, though, when it seems so many other kids/parents have so many things planned!  But that's why I come here - for reassurance that we're doing the right thing!

We'll keep letting Austin march around the living room and discover how to drum blocks together or which block fits in which hole, etc.  I'll keep reading to him when he's not even looking at me or comes over to take the book away!  LOL!

[elf]

I've always managed to find great activities on that don't have the 'structure' side to it, like Toddler Gyms where there is lots of equipment for climbing and kids can generally do there own thing but amongst other kids and get rid of their energy and have fun.  Our local library has Baby Rhyme Time and Storytime which I also use.  I have found that the really 'structured' classes at a young age often produce tears and tantrums as they just would rather be 'exploring' the place, not listening to instructions and then parents are left trying to make a child do an activity that is perhaps not the right thing...  I think being able to expose our kids to activities with other children where there is some music and equipment, etc is great but I'm still saving the more structured ones for a later age.  I actually took my daughter out of a Kindy Dance class when she was younger as she didn't want to do the dance that the teacher wanted her to do, she wanted to do her own thing.  She loved the dancing, just not being told what to do, or also that she had to stop and sit down when she was in the middle of something.  Now at 3 she loves the instructions and the challenge of following what the teacher wants her to do, but not when she was a busy active 18 month!  I think it's really easy to think that all these paid activities for our children are going to be of some advantage and if we don't do them, we're doing an injustice...  Some of my good friends have their children in so many activities and others like myself tend to meet up with our children at parks, homes, toddler gyms and have a more casual approach to it.  But I'd say, doing them, certainly isn't a bad thing... but not doing them also isn't a bad thing

[Katet]

I think the whole mother guilt is hard, esp when people around you kind of do the "oh you're not doing X" I think part of it is they feel better if others do it too (kind of justifys KWIM) & some believe children learn more & the marketing guilt put on parents by the companies that run the organisation/sell the toys... well it does make it hard.

One great thought I have is if children in  non 21st century/ non western cultures  can grow up & achieve, then do we need all the "extra" that is marketed to us... if you ask "is the company going to make $$ out of this?" & the answer is yes, then quite possibly the "toy/class your child must have/take" is a marketing ploy LOL

So set up toys for him to explore, read books *at* him if he won't sit down (it is language exposure) sit & talk while he explores, sing songs to him in the car... all those things will help his development, as he gets older he will look for things to do... like playdough, puzzles imaginative play, even (like we just did) baking cupcakes.

[Noahsmama09]

I was wondering the same thing about my DS who is almost 15 months old! I'm a stay at home mom, and have been thinking "whats the best way for my son to learn"?
There IS alot of pressure on parents nowadays, and I think everyone has a valid point in saying that we just have to let our kids "be". What I am learning about my son, is that he's stubborn (like his mama) and when I push him to learn something he fights back. He wants to do it on his OWN terms and in his own way! I guess you could say he's spirited! lol!
I have a relative who is SO structured that she even has structured playtime for the DOG!(I'm NOT kidding)!!
I'm thankful to read all these posts and I am encouraged now...THANK YOU!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I have a relative who is SO structured that she even has structured playtime for the DOG!(I'm NOT kidding)!!

Wow!!  That is really intense!  Glad you feel encouraged by all of this.  Austin is also very stubborn and determined to do things on his own so these days we just get involved when he'll let us but otherwise just let him explore and do his own thing.  He'll let us do more with him as he gets older, I think.  So way to go, sounds like you're doing a great job and that our little toddlers would get along well!

[gogomama]

You guys have a very interesting discussion going on. It actually made me think of a class that I just took on Development, where the book stated that informal play has really decreased in recent years while organized sports/play had spiked. Something like 70% of all school age kids participate in an organized activity, some of this spike is due to safety concerns, the draw of TV etc. but I also think the point a pp had about it being also for the parents was really valid.  I realize that this thread is based on 1 year old, but I guess my point is I think that they have a lot of time to take part in structured activities in the future and for now its good to let them explore their surroundings at their own pace. I think this age (my DS is also almost 1) the simplest cause and effect items are capturing their interest and stimulating their development, ie I hit this, the sound comes, i roll the ball, it rolls there, etc. PP also had some really great suggestions, reading "at"them, saying the names of objects as they touch them, etc. HTH

[BareFootMomma]

Lol, ok I need to jump in here.

I have to admit that I have structured play time for my DOG as well. He is a high energy dog and we all go insane (and get furniture destroyed) if he doesn't have some mentally stimulating activities every day. Yes, I realize I am weird because I do this

With DD I mostly just let her do her own thing, but she has some structure at the daycare at the gym. The lady there is a preschool teacher and makes sure that she gets as much structure as she can in 45-60 minutes. Other than that, we do dancing time with daddy after he gets home and before bed and thats about it! I totally agree with all the PPs about children having too much structure in their lives.