Author Topic: Almost 1 year old and still not into solids.... (Read 7859 times)

Chicane · « **on:** August 31, 2010, 17:30:12 pm »

Hi ya

DS turns 1 late sept. He has been EBF and is very big, healthy, strong. We've been doing solids since 8 months but he really doesn't eat anything, still. We started with puree then moved onto Baby Led Weaning. Now we do a mix of the two. The only thing he will consistently eat is bread, bread sticks, rusk and baby rice, which I dont like to give him too much as there is little nutrition and I am concerned that too much carbs will lead to constipation. He just is not interested in anything else. Occasionally he will eat a little tiny bit of nectarine or apricot infact he likes most stone fruits. But thats it. Any tips, advice, suggestions been there done thats?

thanks x

anna* · « **Reply #1 on:** August 31, 2010, 19:34:09 pm »

Is he still having lots of milk?

Lolly · « **Reply #2 on:** August 31, 2010, 19:46:45 pm »

That was my thought - how often is he BF over 24 hours - is he still having a night feed?

Laura

Chicane · « **Reply #3 on:** September 01, 2010, 06:46:59 am »

Hey Gals

thanks for getting back. Yep, still having his full milk sessions. So, about 4 feeds during the day then one at night after about between 5-6 hours sleep. That is until recently. Then we went traveling for 6 weeks and I fell back into the awful habit of feeding to sleep. I have a thread going on that in GBT. Nightmare, what an idiot I am. Anyway, for some reason he is now waking up at 5-5.30am and having a full feed then too, going back to sleep then getting up at normal time of 7am.

So yeah, the short of it is lots of milk still going in. Should I be trying to cut a milk session? Should I be trying to wean that night feed? I recently asked about STTN and the consensus was they do it when they are ready...I have started the process of re training to stop the feeding to sleep again so perhaps would be better waiting for that to be done before doing anything else...

Am so confused, haven't felt like this for a long time. I had it so good and now I've messed it up again! can't believe it!

anna* · « **Reply #4 on:** September 01, 2010, 07:00:04 am »

If he was eating solids well I would say fine, but he really needs to be getting a varied diet right now so I would cut out at least one of those daytime feeds, with a view to dropping a second soon after.

MummyToBen · « **Reply #5 on:** September 01, 2010, 07:29:56 am »

Agree with pp about dropping at least one feed now so that he is hungry enough for solids. In terms of how to get him interested in other foods what are you doing now? Just to give us an idea of where you are at the mo. If you're not already doing it, I would have him sit with you every time you eat, and serve him up what you are eating for every meal (or at least most of them) - whether that's a sandwich or spaghetti bolognaise. He needs to be getting a variety of foods into him - but you especially want to get 'fill up', high calorie foods into him - meals with plenty protein and good fats, as that will be how you break the cycle of him breastfeeding so much to fill himself up. So anything like greek yoghurt, stews with meat in them, eggs, cheese on toast etc etc will fill him up lots more than the same volume of breadsticks or fruit iyswim.

Let us know how it's getting on xxx

Chicane · « **Reply #6 on:** September 01, 2010, 12:31:22 pm »

Well, I offer him what we are eating or variations of it. Example, today I made avocado sandwiches on rye bread (I'm trying to stop wheat for a while for my own issues) and some pieces of cheese. He threw it all on the floor, didn't even bring any of it to his mouth. Then pulled out some chicken and veg puree which he refused. Then went onto watermelon and yoghurt which I thought was delicious but he did not. Took one taste of yoghurt. So basically I sit there and eat and he just chats and bangs the table and plays with his cup. Every so often I offer him something all the while making food-is-great noises and faces (!)

For dinner I will prob mix some baby rice with puree as he is more likely to eat a bit of it. Breaky is bircher muesli (oats apples raisins) and fruit...will start to add yoghurt...on weekends we have eggs on toast...he has a little bit of muesli never any egg and loves toast.

Thing is if i drop a breast feed but he is still not eating solids he is going to be hungry...how do i go about it?

Am a bit nervous about dropping a feed so have started to space them out longer (he cant seem to go more then 3.5 hrs between feeds - he's always been a hungry baby) and fitting the solids in between hoping that he will be hungry enough to try something...

I dont know what to do! its really hot here so none of feel like cooking or eating stews ect...we're doing lots of salads and fish and cold lunches/dinners...

anna* · « **Reply #7 on:** September 01, 2010, 12:34:03 pm »

Quote from: Chicane on September 01, 2010, 12:31:22 pm

Thing is if i drop a breast feed but he is still not eating solids he is going to be hungry...how do i go about it?

That's the point!! You WANT him to be hungry! At the moment he's got no incentive to eat because he knows he'll get his milk soon! just distract him with some fun activity when it's usual milk time, or offer him a snack instead. If he doesn't eat it, no problem, but don't give milk instead. Have a sippy of water available all the time so he can get liquids.

Chicane · « **Reply #8 on:** September 01, 2010, 17:38:30 pm »

Ok so tried today with dropping a feed but of course it didn't really work out but I need to try for a few days to really tell. He loves water! When I sign water to him he goes mental with excitement - but how much should I be letting him have? I heard somewhere not to let them fill up on water...

will keep you posted on our progress...thanks for the support x

MummyToBen · « **Reply #9 on:** September 01, 2010, 17:52:48 pm »

I, personally, would let him have as much water as he wants at this age. It may be that he sometimes taking a BF because he is feeling thirsty, but then the feed fills him up as well as giving him the drink he wanted iyswim (and then there is less insentive to eat any solids). But if he was drinking more water then he would not be being filled up and may be more likely to take more solids.

I also wonder if it might be worth trying to add a few other things into his meals (not purees) if you are tending to eat lots of salads etc. I know that my ds who has pretty much always eaten most things given to him will still turn his nose up at salad!

Jiinx · « **Reply #10 on:** September 01, 2010, 17:57:39 pm »

anna, just wondering...if he refuses the snack or meal in lieu of the bf...isn't there a chance he'll wake at night for a feed?

..sorry Chicane, I've been musing over this question too. My lo was eating wonderfully and has resorted back to full feeds and doesn't eat much in the solids. I try skipping the bf in the afternoon, but won't eat solids and is -very- upset by the time it is her bed time feed.

Chicane · « **Reply #11 on:** September 01, 2010, 18:05:10 pm »

Hey Sarah - that's exactly what happened to us this afternoon...was totally cranks by BT because of missing a pm feed...and I wonder about the same thing with the water...if he fills up on water then doesn't have a BF and doesn't have solids will I get more NWs? He is STILL waking 1 or 2 times to feed in the night...argh!

malenka · « **Reply #12 on:** September 01, 2010, 18:07:43 pm »

At my last appointment with my Dr we talked at length about DS not taking any solids. Finally in the past month he's started to eat more. The reason? I dropped his night feeds (he was still having a DF and a 4 am feed!) and since then we've also dropped a daytime feed. We're down to 3 BFs a day now.

Since he's not filling himself up on milk, he's hungry for his food... and he now eats a lot!

Some of his favourites, in case you want to try them with your LO:

frozen peas
raspberries
blueberries
cheese
peaches (he likes to take bites straight from the peach itself, same with pears)
bananas

So for those of you wondering about dropping a daytime feed, I would suggest dropping the night feed. It worked for us...

anna* · « **Reply #13 on:** September 01, 2010, 18:14:37 pm »

Yes, there is that chance. But I wouldn't go back to feeding overnight if I'd already stopped (or start giving more feeds overnight if not).

Chicane · « **Reply #14 on:** September 01, 2010, 20:27:34 pm »

hey Malenka, thanks for your input...how old is your LO? ok - so how do i drop the night feed? he wakes up about 5-6 hrs after BT for a feed, then again at 5-5.30am...whats the best way to go about weaning him from it (the thought fills me with dread!) keeping in mind DH will not be able to help me at nights...

anna* · « **Reply #15 on:** September 01, 2010, 20:36:53 pm »

PUPD? (although without the PU at this age). WIWO?

Chicane · « **Reply #16 on:** September 02, 2010, 07:03:27 am »

argh! i find it so hard at night...im exhausted...i guess its the only way...

anna* · « **Reply #17 on:** September 02, 2010, 07:37:15 am »

(((hugs))) I know. But think how much better you'll feel when you're getting full nights sleep and not having to do night feeds any more!

malenka · « **Reply #18 on:** September 02, 2010, 17:06:22 pm »

My LO is 11.5 months. We finally dropped the night feeds about a month ago.

I started with the 4 or 5 am feeding (for selfish reasons really, I was dying to get 6 hours uninterrupted sleep). When he woke for the feed, I just didn't feed him. I tied PU/PD (without the PU), but it didn't work for us. The first night was horrible. He decided that it was morning and time to get up. I got him out of bed, brought him to my bed and read a book with him until he was drowsy and then I was able to settle him in his crib. The second night was a bit better, the third night even better, and then he just stopped waking. I let him adjust to that for about a week and then I tackled the 11 or 12 am feeding (in the same way). Each time it took us 3 days.

It's tough, and I was dreading it, but it's so worth it in the end. Not that we got rid of the NWs though... the teething monster is paying us a visit at the moment

Good luck. We're here if you need us

Chicane · « **Reply #19 on:** September 02, 2010, 19:38:46 pm »

Oh Malenka thanks so much for that, that does make me feel better. I was just about to post somewhere asking others how they did it. I dont know when to tackle this problem, we have back to back visitors for the next 3 weeks then I fly out to Australia with DS for 3 weeks...when do I fit this in? as I will need to have my days free so i can try to catch up on the sleep I will lose, I am hopeless on no sleep!

anna* · « **Reply #20 on:** September 02, 2010, 21:11:21 pm »

Stan was a bit younger, but we did PUPD to drop night feeds (he was waking every two hours all night). Went cold turkey and it took 3 nights.

Give your guests some earplugs? I bet it won't be as bad as you're expecting.

Jiinx · « **Reply #21 on:** September 02, 2010, 21:35:20 pm »

hugs chicane...it'll be okay. We're here to hold your hand

When I did PUPD ..I thought it would be worse than it was ..

Chicane · « **Reply #22 on:** September 03, 2010, 05:30:22 am »

thanks guys...I know, these things always seem worse from this side then once its done you wonder what all the stress was about. i am feeling much better today. We are conquering our bad travel habits, he had a great night last night, he ate some banana and a bit of bulghur wheat and avocado yesterday - cant say it was a full meal but it was an improvement as he fed himself and seemed ok with it...thanks again...this place (BW) is so special to me i wish i could hug you all in the flesh! xxx

Jiinx · « **Reply #23 on:** September 03, 2010, 16:59:45 pm »

I'm so pleased for the improvement. He'll get there, Chicane.

Sending you some hugs too

anna* · « **Reply #24 on:** September 03, 2010, 17:09:59 pm »

(((hugs)))

bumblemum · « **Reply #25 on:** September 03, 2010, 20:34:28 pm »

Hey Chicane,

How are you doing? I will be interested in hearing how your get on with reducing the night feeds. My lo is 6 1/2months old and I feel she is hungry so am just just going with the flow for now. She scoffs loads of food...and then wakes for milk in the night still. Think we're currently experiencing a GS because I have the joy of 3 hrly feeds through the night again!! Joy!!
Good luck with PU/PD.

C x

Chicane · « **Reply #26 on:** September 04, 2010, 07:28:36 am »

hey bumblemum well we have not started the night weaning yet. I've got guests here at the moment so am waiting for them to leave so that i am able to sleep during the day to catch up on the sleep I will miss in the night. The last two nights have been much better he's slept for longer and only woken once to feed. I am still not sure of this method as the feed he has is huge! Perhaps he really is hungry? but then some would say thats cause he's not eating much in the day, but actually thats been a little better last 2 days too...so who knows! Am going to wait till my friends leave then reassess...I think you defo have a GS on your hands, theoretically it should only last a few days but with my DS they would last up to a week! (he a big boy)

xxx

bumblemum · « **Reply #27 on:** September 04, 2010, 08:21:28 am »

It's difficult to get them to have more calories in the day to counter the night hunger isnt it. I keep putting her back on the boob and she's not having any of it! I don't suppose the solids she's eating have enough calories yet.

Last night was a bit better - fed at 1am and 5am. However she didn't go back to sleep after 5am feed so lovely hubby got up at 6am and sat with her until she dropped back off. He fell asleep with her and we all slept till 8.20!! Bliss. Routine all wonky now but hey ho.

I also love sleep.

C

Chicane · « **Reply #28 on:** September 04, 2010, 09:30:22 am »

How old is yours no bumblemum?

The other thing that I am finding difficult is that when i sit down with him to eat he only starts to get into eating his when I am almost done with mine...he seems to need a long time before he will actually start to put the food to his mouth (or accept it from me) I'm starting to feel like our days will just be filled with eating and sleeping! But I am trying to keep in mind that these phases usually pass quickly, the biggest lesson my son is teaching me is one of patience...not always my strong point! x

anna* · « **Reply #29 on:** September 04, 2010, 10:00:27 am »

That's the point though isn't it Chicane? We WANT him to be hungry so he will eat those calories as solids in the daytime. Don't worry, he will only feel hungry atnight the first one or two times - it's like if you get in the habit of skipping a snack you quickly stop feeling hungry for it.

Chicane · « **Reply #30 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:41:05 am »

Thats true Anna - I'm just being a chicken!

malenka · « **Reply #31 on:** September 04, 2010, 15:14:27 pm »

I was thinking of you again last night Chicane, and I forgot to mention that before I cut the feeds out all together, I reduced the amount of time I would let him feed.

So, at first I let him take a whole feed but I timed how long he was eating. Then the next night I reduced his feed by a few minutes, then a few minutes more the next night, and so on until he was only eating for a couple of minutes. That way they still get something into their tummies, but they don't take in as much and usually start taking in more food during the day to make up for it. Does this make sense?

This way, you're not worried you're "starving" your LO and it's a gradual process. Once you've got him down to a couple of minutes of nursing and he's eating more during the day, it will be easier to drop the night feed altogether - he might surprise you by not waking on his own.

Chicane · « **Reply #32 on:** September 04, 2010, 18:15:59 pm »

Malenka! I was just about to post to ask that question! I think thats the way to go, a more gentle way for both of us...thanks again...going to get started on it after the guests leave. Yesterday was an alright food day, today - nothing! As my mother says... Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, Grace is a little girl who wouldn't wash her face!

Overall we are all feeling much better even though we have these issues xxx

bumblemum · « **Reply #33 on:** September 04, 2010, 18:34:48 pm »

Malenka can I just ask a question? When my lo feeds in the night she falls to sleep after finishing the feed. Sometimes she is still attached to me so I have to remove myself without waking her! On occasion she will finish the feed but not be asleep and then I know I'm in for a possible hour or so of her either chatting to herself or just moaning and shuffling about in the cot. If I gradually reduce the time she feeds she will be awake possibly having a bit of a cry because she's not finished. How did you find things? Did you have to do PUPD or was your lo OK with cutting back the feed?

Just not sure I can cope with the idea of unattaching myself at 3am before she's asleep. How did it work for you?

Thanks

C

malenka · « **Reply #34 on:** September 06, 2010, 01:04:18 am »

Glad to help Chicane

Bumblemum, honestly the night feeds were all almost dream feeds for him - he was always half asleep. Oh, and he would never let go of his own accord, I would always have to take him off.

What I did at the beginning was I would take him off and when he would try to root again, I would hide my nipple from him. If he stopped rooting after a minute or so without a problem, I put him back to bed. Sometimes he would root furiously and scream when he couldn't find it. When this happened, I let him back on for another minute and then tried again.

Sometimes he would be wide awake and we had to use PUPD or shh patt (surprisingly that still calms him even at this age). Other times he was too wide awake and we had to take him out of his room, read a story and try again a little while later. For some reason, when they don't get that full feed, they decide it's morning or something. It's very frustrating when that happens, but like I said, the whole experience was easier than I thought it would be. A few difficult nights are so worth it

bumblemum · « **Reply #35 on:** September 06, 2010, 18:28:14 pm »

Thanks Malenka, that was very handy. I've just got over an epic GS and last night she only fed at 4.40am so I think I'll go with that for a few weeks befoe tackling anything else.

When I'm ready I will try playing 'hide the nipple' and see what happens.

She hasn't gone straight to sleep after the feed for the last few nights so I just leave her in her cot moaning a bit. It sometimes takes 40 mins for her to go off to sleep but she isn't upset - just shuffling and moaning a bit. I wish I could sleep though it - my husband can!

Thanks for advice.

Hope you're doing OK Chicane. C

inoella · « **Reply #36 on:** September 06, 2010, 19:02:01 pm »

Hi there Chicane! Be you didn't expect to see me here huh?

You know how we're dong on all other fronts, but I just wanted to suggest if he takes a bottle to use that (with EBM). I tried cutting the time, like malenka suggested, but she's always been a super fast eater so cutting time was nearly impossible for me - she would just get furious! With the bottle I could see how much she was actually getting and it really helped me see that, as others pointed out to me, she was waking from "learned hunger". So, yes, she was hungry, but only because she wasn't eating enough during the day. So, with the bottle, I started with 3 oz., then 2 oz. and one night I only had 1 oz left (no on purpose actually...) and she was mad when it was gone but didn't want to wait for the let down at the breast either so she just grumbled a bit and went back to sleep. I couldn't believe it! Anyway, I found it much easier to do it this way because with the bottle I knew how much she was getting and I knew it was less of a comfort thing and truly a hunger thing, iyswim?
You mentioned no help from DH? Anyway he could help even for 3 nights? That's what was key for us - he offers her a sippy of water and although we've had a few rough nights it's truly improving! But otherwise the bottle would be the next best thing...
hth!

Chicane · « **Reply #37 on:** September 06, 2010, 20:50:13 pm »

thanks love, have thought about trying water...its hard for DH as he works long hours and does so much around the house already...I know he would if I asked him but he's just got a new boss and things are weird at work and and and...I am going to see how I go and if I need help I'll ask him. Unfortunately, I cant express my milk...well I can express it but cant store it for more than an hour without is going sour. I have too much lipase enzyme in my system and it turns my milk sour not long after expressing even if its in the fridge or freezer....so its been hard to offer him a bottle of BM and I just cant get my head around introducing formula...its probably silly of me...

inoella · « **Reply #38 on:** September 07, 2010, 00:21:48 am »

aaawww... that's tough about the BM. Never heard of that! And I hear you on the formula - thot of it but didn't go there either. hopefully you'll have luck with the time method.
I hear you on the long hours for DH too - this was about the worst week for my DH. but my thot was-- if not now, when? Do I still want to be doing this at 14 months? 18 months? when WOULD be a good time to tackle this?

but I'm confident you will know when the right time is - I've thot of it off and on the past 2 months actually and just never felt right about it but last week DH and I both felt ready - just kinda came together. So I'm sending "come together" vibes your way!

gogomama · « **Reply #39 on:** September 16, 2010, 08:10:19 am »

Hi Chicane,

I wanted to see how you were coming along and what, if anything, worked out for you. We are approaching the same problem, I fear. DS will eat a handfull of solids throughout the day, but nothing too substantial, so wondering how he's ever going to be able to drop a feed. He gets antsy after about 10min in the booster, so I found he eats better if I just keep offering small bits throughout the day. But when he wants milk, he's not to be distracted by any type of food! Thanx!

Chicane · « **Reply #40 on:** September 16, 2010, 10:20:02 am »

Hi gogomama and everyone else

Actually the last 2 days have been better regarding the food! Its like some switch has been hit and he is eating, not huge amount but a lot more and enough for me to feel like he is getting good nutrients and that he's enjoying it. We are having some NW issues still although I think a lot of that is due to our 2-1 transitioning which has been topsy turvy. The night feeds have been less regular though...last night he didn't have one even though he woke up he got himself back to sleep. I am going home to Australia in a week and my mum is going to help me train him out of the night feeds while we are there. I just cant do it on my own because he doesn't understand why he cant have the boob when they are right there in front of him...and its so easy for me to give in cause I am hopeless at night. So, sorry, I don't have a magic bullet for this one. I think the biggest lesson (as usual) is patience (again) I got worked up about it all but really they always come round dont they? Its like he has to bring me right to the edge of my sanity before reeling me back again! Bless him...So, i guess, keep offering all sorts of food in all sorts of ways and dig out some patience from your never ending well of it (lol) xxx

sparrow · « **Reply #41 on:** September 22, 2010, 01:52:17 am »

Hi Chicane, just wanted to cut and paste this little tidbit for you, it's on the kellymom website (http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html#cowmilk)

My lo doesn't eat too much in the way of solids either, so I was happy to read this. Hope it helps.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child - there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby's diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.

Some children take a little longer to begin taking solids well.
At this point there is NOTHING that your milk lacks that your child needs, with the possible exception of enough iron. As long as his iron levels are within acceptable levels and when he does eat you are offering him foods naturally rich in iron, then you have plenty of time before you need to worry about the amount of solids he's getting.

All you need to do is to continue to offer foods. Don't worry if he's not interested or takes very small amounts. Your only true responsibility is what you offer, when you offer it and how you offer it, not whether or not he eats it. That has to be up to him. Trying to force, coax, or cajole your child into eating is never recommended. Continue to nurse on demand, day and night, and trust your child to increase the solids when he's ready. As baby slowly moves into eating more solids, your milk will fill any nutritional gaps nicely.

Chicane · « **Reply #42 on:** September 22, 2010, 06:40:31 am »

Hey Sparrow that is very comforting to read. Some days are better than others regarding food. This makes me feel a bit better...the doc is not worried so I've relaxed a bit. he's getting more into feeding himself and even though a lot ends up on the floor this way I think its good in the long run. I;m still struggling with the night feed and not sure what to do about it. There is conflicting advice and many think I should wean him from it and many others think its developmental and he will stop it when he's ready...what do you think?

Man! Being a mum is so hard! Luckily for the small rewards like those cheeky grins and those funny sounds. xo

anna* · « **Reply #43 on:** September 22, 2010, 07:56:31 am »

Quote from: Chicane on September 22, 2010, 06:40:31 am

I;m still struggling with the night feed and not sure what to do about it. There is conflicting advice and many think I should wean him from it and many others think its developmental and he will stop it when he's ready...what do you think?

I think you should do whatever YOU want to do! If you are happy to and want to go on doing night feeds, keep doing it! If you feel like you will enjoy your days better after a good night's sleep, wean them!

sparrow · « **Reply #44 on:** September 23, 2010, 01:06:48 am »

I really wouldn't worry. I have a friend who's boy had no interest in solids till about 18 months, and he was a VERY big, healthy boy lived on mostly just BM.

I know what you mean about the conflicting advice on the NWs. I'm in the exact same boat except one NW is a good night for us. Wouldn't it be nice if there was an actual answer to our questions! For me personally, I would love to have the patience and energy to just let her wean it herself, and I would like to trust that she would do it on her own. On the other hand, I'm starting to feel more and more negative about the NWs, I do know it's habit more than actual need, I don't fully trust that it will go away on its own, and I know that sometimes a few tough nights are better for us all in the long run. So, like you, I'm torn. Unfortunately I don't have the energy to be what I consider the "perfect" parent, so I just have to figure out what's going to help me be the best parent I can be... and I'm thinking more and more it's going to involve "helping" her wean these night feeds sooner than later.

Just as soon as we get out of this nightmarish OT cycle we're in!

Chicane · « **Reply #45 on:** September 24, 2010, 19:21:21 pm »

Quote from: sparrow on September 23, 2010, 01:06:48 am

I don't have the energy to be what I consider the "perfect" paren

Ugh! I hate that! I feel the same way and what does it mean exactly and where did this silly thought come from? I know in my head that these kind of feelings are futile and a waste of energy but still...we all keep thinking these things. There is no such thing as a perfect parent...but it doesn't stop us from wanting to be one.

Anna, you are right, again (no surprise there!) We leave today for Australia, once we are settled my mum is going to help me try to wean him off his night feed. Saw the doc today and he thinks if i am able to keep doing it then do it but if not then wean, he suggested using a night time cereal mixed with BM to really tank him up before bed...will investigate this option further...

will keep you posted

xo

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Author Topic: Almost 1 year old and still not into solids.... (Read 7859 times)

MummyToBen

MummyToBen