Almost 1 year old and still not into solids....

[Chicane]

Thats true Anna - I'm just being a chicken!

[malenka]

I was thinking of you again last night Chicane, and I forgot to mention that before I cut the feeds out all together, I reduced the amount of time I would let him feed.

So, at first I let him take a whole feed but I timed how long he was eating. Then the next night I reduced his feed by a few minutes, then a few minutes more the next night, and so on until he was only eating for a couple of minutes. That way they still get something into their tummies, but they don't take in as much and usually start taking in more food during the day to make up for it. Does this make sense?

This way, you're not worried you're "starving" your LO and it's a gradual process. Once you've got him down to a couple of minutes of nursing and he's eating more during the day, it will be easier to drop the night feed altogether - he might surprise you by not waking on his own.

[Chicane]

Malenka! I was just about to post to ask that question! I think thats the way to go, a more gentle way for both of us...thanks again...going to get started on it after the guests leave. Yesterday was an alright food day, today - nothing! As my mother says... Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, Grace is a little girl who wouldn't wash her face!

Overall we are all feeling much better even though we have these issues xxx

[bumblemum]

Malenka can I just ask a question? When my lo feeds in the night she falls to sleep after finishing the feed. Sometimes she is still attached to me so I have to remove myself without waking her!  On occasion she will finish the feed but not be asleep and then I know I'm in for a possible hour or so of her either chatting to herself or just moaning and shuffling about in the cot. If I gradually reduce the time she feeds she will be awake possibly having a bit of a cry because she's not finished. How did you find things? Did you have to do PUPD or was your lo OK with cutting back the feed?


Just not sure I can cope with the idea of unattaching myself at 3am before she's asleep. How did it work for you?

Thanks

C

[malenka]

Glad to help Chicane

Bumblemum, honestly the night feeds were all almost dream feeds for him - he was always half asleep. Oh, and he would never let go of his own accord, I would always have to take him off.

What I did at the beginning was I would take him off and when he would try to root again, I would hide my nipple from him. If he stopped rooting after a minute or so without a problem, I put him back to bed. Sometimes he would root furiously and scream when he couldn't find it. When this happened, I let him back on for another minute and then tried again.

Sometimes he would be wide awake and we had to use PUPD or shh patt (surprisingly that still calms him even at this age). Other times he was too wide awake and we had to take him out of his room, read a story and try again a little while later. For some reason, when they don't get that full feed, they decide it's morning or something. It's very frustrating when that happens, but like I said, the whole experience was easier than I thought it would be. A few difficult nights are so worth it 

[bumblemum]

Thanks Malenka, that was very handy. I've just got over an epic GS and last night she only fed at 4.40am so I think I'll go with that for a few weeks befoe tackling anything else.

When I'm ready I will try playing 'hide the nipple' and see what happens.

She hasn't gone straight to sleep after the feed for the last few nights so I just leave her in her cot moaning a bit. It sometimes takes 40 mins for her to go off to sleep but she isn't upset - just shuffling and moaning a bit. I wish I could sleep though it - my husband can!

Thanks for advice.

Hope you're doing OK Chicane. C

[inoella]

Hi there Chicane! Be you didn't expect to see me here huh?  You know how we're dong on all other fronts, but I just wanted to suggest if he takes a bottle to use that (with EBM). I tried cutting the time, like malenka suggested, but she's always been a super fast eater so cutting time was nearly impossible for me - she would just get furious! With the bottle I could see how much she was actually getting and it really helped me see that, as others pointed out to me, she was waking from "learned hunger". So, yes, she was hungry, but only because she wasn't eating enough during the day. So, with the bottle, I started with 3 oz., then 2 oz. and one night I only had 1 oz left (no on purpose actually...) and she was mad when it was gone but didn't want to wait for the let down at the breast either so she just grumbled a bit and went back to sleep. I couldn't believe it! Anyway, I found it much easier to do it this way because with the bottle I knew how much she was getting and I knew it was less of a comfort thing and truly a hunger thing, iyswim?
You mentioned no help from DH? Anyway he could help even for 3 nights? That's what was key for us - he offers her a sippy of water and although we've had a few rough nights it's truly improving! But otherwise the bottle would be the next best thing...
hth!

[Chicane]

thanks love, have thought about trying water...its hard for DH as he works long hours and does so much around the house already...I know he would if I asked him but he's just got a new boss and things are weird at work and and and...I am going to see how I go and if I need help I'll ask him. Unfortunately, I cant express my milk...well I can express it but cant store it for more than an hour without is going sour. I have too much lipase enzyme in my system and it turns my milk sour not long after expressing even if its in the fridge or freezer....so its been hard to offer him a bottle of BM and I just cant get my head around introducing formula...its probably silly of me...

[inoella]

aaawww... that's tough about the BM. Never heard of that! And I hear you on the formula - thot of it but didn't go there either. hopefully you'll have luck with the time method.
I hear you on the long hours for DH too - this was about the worst week for my DH. but my thot was-- if not now, when? Do I still want to be doing this at 14 months? 18 months?   when WOULD be a good time to tackle this?  but I'm confident you will know when the right time is - I've thot of it off and on the past 2 months actually and just never felt right about it but last week DH and I both felt ready - just kinda came together. So I'm sending "come together" vibes your way! 

[gogomama]

Hi Chicane,

I wanted to see how you were coming along and what, if anything, worked out for you. We are approaching the same problem, I fear. DS will eat a handfull of solids throughout the day, but nothing too substantial, so wondering how he's ever going to be able to drop a feed. He gets antsy after about 10min in the booster, so I found he eats better if I just keep offering small bits throughout the day. But when he wants milk, he's not to be distracted by any type of food!  Thanx!

[Chicane]

Hi gogomama and everyone else

Actually the last 2 days have been better regarding the food! Its like some switch has been hit and he is eating, not huge amount but a lot more and enough for me to feel like he is getting good nutrients and that he's enjoying it. We are having some NW issues still although I think a lot of that is due to our 2-1 transitioning which has been topsy turvy. The night feeds have been less regular though...last night he didn't have one even though he woke up he got himself back to sleep. I am going home to Australia in a week and my mum is going to help me train him out of the night feeds while we are there. I just cant do it on my own because he doesn't understand why he cant have the boob when they are right there in front of him...and its so easy for me to give in cause I am hopeless at night. So, sorry, I don't have a magic bullet for this one. I think the biggest lesson (as usual) is patience (again) I got worked up about it all but really they always come round dont they? Its like he has to bring me right to the edge of my sanity before reeling me back again! Bless him...So, i guess, keep offering all sorts of food in all sorts of ways and dig out some patience from your never ending well of it (lol) xxx

[sparrow]

Hi Chicane, just wanted to cut and paste this little tidbit for you, it's on the kellymom website (http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html#cowmilk)

My lo doesn't eat too much in the way of solids either, so I was happy to read this.  Hope it helps.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child - there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby's diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.

Some children take a little longer to begin taking solids well.
At this point there is NOTHING that your milk lacks that your child needs, with the possible exception of enough iron. As long as his iron levels are within acceptable levels and when he does eat you are offering him foods naturally rich in iron, then you have plenty of time before you need to worry about the amount of solids he's getting.

All you need to do is to continue to offer foods. Don't worry if he's not interested or takes very small amounts. Your only true responsibility is what you offer, when you offer it and how you offer it, not whether or not he eats it. That has to be up to him. Trying to force, coax, or cajole your child into eating is never recommended. Continue to nurse on demand, day and night, and trust your child to increase the solids when he's ready. As baby slowly moves into eating more solids, your milk will fill any nutritional gaps nicely.

[Chicane]

Hey Sparrow that is very comforting to read. Some days are better than others regarding food. This makes me feel a bit better...the doc is not worried so I've relaxed a bit. he's getting more into feeding himself and even though a lot ends up on the floor this way I think its good in the long run. I;m still struggling with the night feed and not sure what to do about it. There is conflicting advice and many think I should wean him from it and many others think its developmental and he will stop it when he's ready...what do you think?

Man! Being a mum is so hard! Luckily for the small rewards like those cheeky grins and those funny sounds. xo

[anna*]

I;m still struggling with the night feed and not sure what to do about it. There is conflicting advice and many think I should wean him from it and many others think its developmental and he will stop it when he's ready...what do you think?

I think you should do whatever YOU want to do! If you are happy to and want to go on doing night feeds, keep doing it! If you feel like you will enjoy your days better after a good night's sleep, wean them!

[sparrow]

I really wouldn't worry.  I have a friend who's boy had no interest in solids till about 18 months, and he was a VERY big, healthy boy lived on mostly just BM.

I know what you mean about the conflicting advice on the NWs. I'm in the exact same boat except one NW is a good night for us. Wouldn't it be nice if there was an actual answer to our questions!  For me personally, I would love to have the patience and energy to just let her wean it herself, and I would like to trust that she would do it on her own.  On the other hand, I'm starting to feel more and more negative about the NWs, I do know it's habit more than actual need, I don't fully trust that it will go away on its own, and I know that sometimes a few tough nights are better for us all in the long run. So, like you, I'm torn.  Unfortunately I don't have the energy to be what I consider the "perfect" parent, so I just have to figure out what's going to help me be the best parent I can be... and I'm thinking more and more it's going to involve "helping" her wean these night feeds sooner than later.

Just as soon as we get out of this nightmarish OT cycle we're in!