Im getting very desperate!! near 20 mnths & we are still having the same issues!

[*Jo*]

yeah I have done W2S sometimes it works, sometiems it doesnt, when it does i usually get either a 1 hour or a 1 hour 15min nap.

He was a wreck by bedtime, kept putting his hands over his eyes, he would cry at the drop of a hat. How can he keep doing this every single day? I dont see anyone on the boards having naps less than one hour on one nap a day at this age for this long! do we have to revert back to two naps? hes been on one nap since 14 months and he would refuse a second nap anyway. Im just so lost and Im scared that it wont be too long before it all adds up and we end up with NW and EW due to OT

[Tweakster]

Jo with a 12 hr night I don't think you will get any decent length nap.  Seems that the kids doing long naps are doing much shorter nights, 10-10.5 or even up to 11 but don't know many doing a long night AND a long nap.  It just doesn't seem to happen at this age.

12 hrs in a 24 hr period is right in line for his age, normally kids are doing about 13 in total.  If you want a longer nap he needs to have a real drive for it in the day.  I know you don't want to cut back his night but I think it's the only option here.  Can you have his light come on at 11 hrs but not go in to him, it might even take 10.5 for him?  It seems like his behaviour is telling you he needs a longer nap but his body is regulating and making up the sleep at night.

[babybarr]

Hate to say it but I agree with Wendy.  Even we're getting shorter naps if DS does a longer night and vice versa.

[*Jo*]

Ok, i hear what you are saying and I agree, i do, we are aiming for an 11 hour night so we want to do 8pm till 7am but its just not getting there. So should I wake him early, get him sorted on a longerish nap and still 7pm bedtime and then once thats settled start shifting it all forward? The light doesnt appear to wake him so we would have to wake him and get him up early.

I just dont want to also do all of this with the move happening in three days, should I wait to do all of this till hes settled in the new house or what?

Oh i forgot to mention, he has done a few 10.5 hour nights in the last week or two and still only gave short naps, i guess im scared that even with a short ngiht we will have a short nap and it will just end up a train wreck

[Tweakster]

Moving, yes do that first for sure!  Just leave it until then really, do what you can.

Then reevaluate.  His room conditions will totally change etc. so who knows what he will do.  There could be some bumpy nights etc. but then again he might just love his new room better and want to spend 2 hrs napping in it lol

There is a possibility if you cut the sleep he will still do a short nap.  But it doesn't hurt to give it a try.  No stone unturned with these mystery question mark kids!!!

[teilvnav]

Jo, I would wait until after the move to try to sort him more; you would work hard and then being in a new place could throw him off again!! Best safe your efforts. After a few nights in the new place I would try what the others are saying about shortening his night by an hour. It is absolutely worth a shot, especially since you have tried everything! I would give it a good week to see if it helps. Yes, he might throw a wobbly. But he is already struggling anyway, so might as well try something that may help!

Good luck Sweetie, hang in there.

[koe2moe]

what are the nap times you have tried?  would a later nap time give you a bit longer nap, like ridiculously late, say 2:30.  DS had a few days of that and he still only napped 1h30 but after a week or so, he's switched back to 12:30 nap. 

[janecharlotte]

Sounds like you have been given lots of great advice. I too would wait until you have moved to sort things out as its one less stress (even though you are abviously on edge about it anyway).

I haven't read through everything but have you tried shifting his nap a b it later (1pm)? When we had nap refusal and short naps I moved DD's nap by 30mins and she was that extra little bit tired for naps. I also found she could have a longer am and if she didn't sleep well (we still get 45min naps but not too often) the time to bed time isn't as long and painful.

Even if she wakes at 6.30 I put her down at 1pm.

Just a thought...

[babybarr]

would a later nap time give you a bit longer nap, like ridiculously late, say 2:30.  DS had a few days of that and he still only napped 1h30 but after a week or so, he's switched back to 12:30 nap.

I had forgotten we've done this before too.  Pushed the nap right back by an hour or so to make sure he is super tired and then brought it forward again once he'd settled down.

Wait for the move though DEFINATELY!!

[Tweakster]

Given what happened with Finn today I would say try it.  I was sure he was going to OT short nap us after he fought for more than 1 hr but then he knocked off a 2.5 hr nap no issue.  So maybe Caleb needs to be exhausted rather than just tired.  It's so hard to find that line between tired, OT and completely exhausted so their body NEEDS to sleep.

[*Jo*]

I did wonder that girls, but DH did that a few weeks ago, gave him a nap at 1.30 and he slept..... 40mins 

honestly im getting sick of it, it feels like hes moaning and complaining cos hes tired all the time and im feeling like "well you are the one who wont bloody sleep!"

I *think* we got an 11 hour night last night. I have no idea because i heard him awake at 6.15am and he was chatting for a few minutes but then I fell back asleep and I dont remember if i heard more or if i was dreaming but next thing I know its 7am and my alarm is going off. I actually dreamt that I went in to get him because the lights were on and when I walked in to his room he was already out of his bed playing with some toys and some man had let him out of his bed!!!! so thats why I dont know if he was really awake or not because i had that dream at the same time.
So we have church this morning which means no nap earlier than 12 at the very least and he becomes extremely grumpy by 12.30 ive noticed, starts refusing his lunch, being very difficult, grabs things and throws them and laughs or cries. all classic signs hes alreayd tired, so do I continue to try and push it? the only problem is that we have to drive home, it takes 20mins to drive home (new house is only 2 mins up the road from church so this wont be an issue once we move) so he WILL fall asleep and whether he sleeps through the transfer to the bed or not who knows!

[teilvnav]

Can you leave church a few minutes early? We had to do that for months, since Nathan refused to sleep in the nursery and would wake up as soon as we tried to transfer him from the car (if he would even sleep in the car; 90% of the time he would just scream all the way home). Anyway, if you leave a few minutes early until you move then you can get him home and wound down in time for a proper nap... that is my theory anyway! Who knows with these little bums sometimes (bless their hearts).

[*Jo*]

actually im wondering if we stay around church and take him for a walk in his stroller and see if he falls asleep in it, then maybe we can just not stress so much, might stay and have lunch at someones house instead of rushing home like we do every single time. I tell ya, these naps rule us, whether it was 3 naps when he was younger or 1 nap now. I used to dream of one nap days where I wouldnt be rushing home all the time to make sure he was asleep, but here we are at 20 mnths and its still happening, its still ruling our lives

[teilvnav]

I totally, totally hear you on that. My DS is too touchy to sleep anywhere other than his own crib with a fan and the dark. When conditions are perfect he sleeps well, but the slightest thing means nap/bedtime refusal or EW/NW. Often it is things outside of my control (hello, dog barking! You know what I mean!), because I have structured our lives around naptime. I used to think that life would be easier when he was on one nap, and now I know that it won't be easier until he doesn't need the nap at all.

Remind me why we are both TTC #2??

Anyway, I say go for it. Bring the stroller, get him to sleep in there if you can, and enjoy every bite of lunch at a friend's house. You have earned it, Jo.

[*Jo*]

Remind me why we are both TTC #2??

LOL i know, i ask myself that at every naptime hehehe