what rules do you have about television

[Nauvoo]

The search engine for this forum doesn't allow me to make a search so here goes hoping that I'm not replicating a previous post.
My DD 19 months is obsessed (literally, as I'm sure other LO's get) with some sign language DVD's that we check out from the library.  She walks around all day repeating what she soaks in.  However, lately this is how our day goes: wake up and immediately she is asking for "TV".  In fact whenever we are even close to it, and our house is small, she insists on watching her DVD's and when I say no she throws a fit.  I don't watch much tv but if I even try to catch the news she insists on watching her DVD's (and football season is approaching so I need to nip this in the bud  ). I thought she'd catch on to my denying her request but this is repeated several times a day.  So I wanted to know what rules others have for their LO's concerning tv.  And I'd love to know how to prevent tantrums.  I guess I'll be paying a visit to the discipline board.

[~*Nicole*~]

I TRY (some days I totally give in and let more TV watching happen than I think is necessary) to limit to one show per day. Generally this is during the time I take a shower and I let DD watch in our extra bedroom while I have the gate across the stairs and the bathroom door open so as to hear her.

When I have to say no to the TV I try to tell her that the characters on her show are sleeping or they aren't on right now. Even with on demand I feel like she should have to learn that she can't have what she wants at her whim every time she asks. She generally accepts it when we say no at this point, but when younger she would have a temper tantrum. The whole idea of telling her that I understood that she was upset but that we were not watching xyz right now b/c it wasn't on or it was dinner or we had watched too much TV already and she could watch it again tomorrow. Then letting her tantrum and consoling her if need be seemed to work as she just sort of learned that sometimes the answer is no.

I think trying to limit to a certain time so she can associate it with another particular event, like, right after nap time when she's still groggy or while mommy cooks dinner might help. That can be HER time for HER show and then other times are NOT her time, you know what I mean. Plus you can easily say during a tantrum "I know you're upset now, but you can watch xyz later when mommy cooks dinner." That way she will learn to appreciate that time and more easily recognize when it is NOT time, etc. This can also work for you catching the news or whatever. "Mommy watches the news before breakfast. We will watch your show when I cook dinner." Again, associating it with events so she knows the frequency and approx. time when things will happen.

[Katet]

My Rule on TV has pretty much been the same since they were little, if I don't want them to watch TV *I* need to be the one to provide a suitable alternative, if my alternatives aren't taken up (cooking, trip to park, helping me with chores, playing in backyard etc) then I will let them... it did mean that when DS2 was born DS1 watched way way too much, but now as a 7yo he only watches about 4hours/week & that is sport.

I also think there is nothing wrong with a child being upset when they don't get what they want, as long as that upset doesn't get the parent to change their mind... IMHO I think expecting children to "suck it up" & not be upset is more unreasonable than them asking everytime they think "Umm I wouldn't mind watching TV"

TBH I think you have to work out in your own mind whether your issue is her tantrums or your desire for her not to watch TV, because (annoying as it is) we can't always have it both ways... stick to your guns & accept the tantrum could be a result or want to avoid the tantrum, then maybe you need to lessent the standards. Because at end of the day the tantrum annoys & frustrates the parent but it is a "normal"  & reasonable response from a toddler & better to have the frustration out than bottled up.

[~*Nicole*~]

Katet makes a good point. If I do say no, I definitely suggest an alternative activity. Let's color/go to the park/play with your babies/help mommy do laundry....instead. Whatever you think is a better option at the time.

[Nauvoo]

I love love love the idea of tv watching only during a certain time like when I'm preparing dinner.  Love this idea and I really think this will help DD. I can just hear her now saying "mommy cook dinner" so she can watch tv.  
 And I'm certain that my issue is my desire for her not to watch what I consider to be to much tv.  tv is not the only thing that we have tantrums over and she is usually easily persuaded to read books instead, although this doesn't work as well when she's stuck on watching tv.  Some of her tantrums may be due to my letting her watch a certain potty training DVD a bit too many times a day when I was potty training her.  She may just be used to the tube and now I need to get her used to/ or excited about other things.
Many thanks for the enlightening responses.

[We Three]

We have always told dd that tv was for after breakfast (Mommy's blow-dry time!   )  and not again until after dinner. Clean-up and chat with dh time!)  I never really said "No Tv" to her, but rather cheerfully reminded her "Tv is for after dinner, honey"  She knows it isn't on during the day at all...and tbh never asks.  That said, I have just one child and am a sahm....so I have the ability to hang out with her more than some Moms with more than one lo, kwim?  And I have always given her warnings like "When Wonder Pets is over, it's time to turn off the tv."   

[~*Nicole*~]

I hope she does well with another event to help her associate when she can watch and when it's time to play other things.

I feel the same way. Too much TV is not good. I feel like alongside the correlations they mention about ADD etc. (not sure how true they are) I mostly feel as though it stifles creativity and good healthy movement/exercise. DD runs around all day and when she watches TV sits like a bump on a log. I'd rather keep her moving, you know?

[teilvnav]

Nathan is younger than all of your LO's, and he is obsessed with tv. It is one of his 9-10 words, and he has made up his own sign for it (!). He is so, so happy when I say yes and he gets very excited when I get everything ready for him to watch something. He asks me all day long, and I am firm when I say no. I don't like that he is so addicted, since I have *always* been really careful not to show him a lot! And I never go back on my word and let him watch just because he is throwing a tantrum. He has to get used to 'no'.

I put it on every day for about 10-15 minutes after DS's nap, when he needs some quiet time to himself as he wakes up and I am preparing his lunch. He sits with his lovey and soother on the couch quietly until I switch it off and he eats. He may get it again that day, but probably not. I have to be strict with it because I don't want it to affect him, and I want him running around playing (like Nicole said).

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Our TV watching rules are quite lax...but I have 2 kids who treat any kids show or DVD like background noise and move around and play away unless it is a new or particularly eye catching show.  In nice weather they spend a few hours outside each day, and the older Spencer gets the easier it is to do projects/activities that both are going to get enjoyment out of as a way to keep them entertained.

[mum101]

DD went through a stage like this too.  She would chuck the biggest wobbly if I watched The View!  It doesn't last too long. 

If you can get away with holding off, or allowing a short bit then distracting away from it, that's good.  If she'll keep pestering until she gets it it might be worth riding it out, working on distraction techniques.
I don't think it necessarily sets up bad habits, it's more of a phase of power and it's something that really interests them. After all, TV entertains us so we don't have to entertain ourselves!
6 months ago they were enthralled with the plastic container cupboard, and in a few years it will be playing with other kids or doing lego. 

For DS it hasn't happened so much as he has a sister to entertain him more!

I'm at the stage where I avoid it until I need some time to have a shower, or if the kids are really fighting.  We watch less now, as DD can entertain herself much better, and they have a play buddy. 

[arabesque]

The tv rule here is after nap only, max 45 mins. We either watch a kids channel with Playschool etc or a DVD. DS1 never asks for tv at other times.

[*Becky*]

I don't really have rules as such. Henry always has a programme with his milk when he gets up and usually one after his nap and then it may go on for 5 mins or so if I am getting tea ready or he is in a particularly whiny mood!!
I am of the opinion that if he has been out and about or busy am and pm then the odd bit of TV is really no problem. x