Help me move house for Caleb

[*Jo*]

Not sure what area this should be in but we are going to be moving house in a few weeks and I want some advice on how to make the transition as smooth as possible for Caleb.
He is spirited, so far we have moved bedrooms once, it was a real issue at bedtime but he did end up sleeping, but because it was such an issue we moved him back to his bedroom again the next day, that was about 8 months ago I think, maybe even a year ago, cant remember.

So I need some tips to help Caleb through the change. I know to keep everything the same as much as possible when it comes to his routine but if anyone else has some great ideas I would love to hear them.
He is 19 months old, doesnt say alot of words so cant really tell me much of whats going on for him.

[teilvnav]

Jo, can he help you pack? Like, if you very clearly and positively (happily) tell him (possibly over and over) about going to a new house, maybe he could help you put some of his toys in boxes and label them with crayons. If you make him part of the process, it might make it an adventure for him. And if he starts to freak out, just stop and go pack some of your own stuff for a while. Just keep explaining how things are going away temporarily so they can go to your new home. I think it would be hard on him if you pack his stuff when he is sleeping or out, because he might get confused or frustrated.

When you do get to your new home, I would unpack some of his stuff first (as well as some of your stuff that he will recognize, like a particular blanket that goes over the back of the couch or something). He can help you unpack his things and put them in their new places. If you can, make his new bedroom as similar to his old one as possible; if his bed used to face the window, then copy that in the new place. And then once he is in bed, you can unpack more of your stuff so in the morning he is surrounded by things he knows.

If I think of anything else I will come back. Nathan is not spirited, but very touchy... sometimes there are similarities in those, I think. You are right to keep the routine as similar as possible. Good luck!!! I am so glad you found a good place so quickly.

[RachelC]

Check out this thread
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=159303.0

[*Jo*]

Thanks Rachel, will take a look at that as well

[georgeo]

I don't have any advice but would like to tag along as we will be moving soon too.

[mum101]

we are moving too, in 2 weeks.

So far I chat to DD a bit, I've got a picture of the house on the fridge.

DD is 5 and DS is 2, so she understands and communicates more. She was sad we would leave her bed behind, so I explained everything about what stays and goes.  I've given her the job of caring for our cat because he will be a bit unsure.

It helps that no-one lives in our new house, so I've snuck in a couple of times to let them play in the backyard   We also did another tour of the house with the agent after we bought so they got to see their rooms etc. and be more familiar.  

When we move we are putting them in daycare for the day so they don't have to be told to get out of the way etc and see us getting stressed or really rushed. But at the end of the day I'll pick them up and then get them to make their own beds up and set their books next to their beds.  
I'll give them a tour, where the toilet is, where the food is.

I should really do more with DS before we get too busy packing. I don't expect either of them will settle well in the first night, and we'll probably all end up sleeping in the main bedroom. I'll drag some extra mattresses out so we have room.

But by far the most settling thing has been talking to DD about the positives (2 toilets, a whole big playroom) etc. and for DS going to play there.  

Good luck!!

[We Three]

You've gotten great advice already.....!!!   We moved when dd was 22 months, and I did everything I could to make it easy for her. We were building a new house, so I was lucky that we could visit almost every day throughout the process...and as soon as her room had carpet we brought some toys over, hung out in there, she'd hide in the closet, it was fun!  I painted her room the same color, used the same curtains, same artwork on the walls, and her "view" from her crib was almost identical. 

It was so important to me (for some reason) that she not see her crib/dresser/room be broken down...so on that last day in the old house when she woke from her nap, I told dh "You have 6 hours to get the crib, dresser and armoire to the new house, because she is going to sleep tonight in a finished room!"  He did great, she and I went out, and she never had to see her room being torn apart. I'm sure it was ME who hated the thought way more than she ever could, but it was non-negotiable! 

I LOVE the idea of putting a pic on the fridge, and talking up the "new house" and all the positives that go along with it.  Talk, talk, talk. 

Any way to visit the new place?  As a realtor, I have been asked to give the kiddies a tour or two...I never mind a bit! Don't be scared to ask....!  Maybe bring a stuffed animal to leave there to "wait" for him in his new room!  He might like to bring a few things to the new place a day or two ahead of time...

[*Jo*]

Im hoping we get the keys soon so that we can visit a bit and to start bringing over boxes soon, that way he will get to see it as well. I agree with him not seeing the bed being taken apart, that might undo him a little to see the one constant thing in his life taken apart. Im going to ask a friend to babysit him for the whole day, which means she will have to try and get him to take a nap, he never sleeps anywhere else except home so he may end up not napping that day which will make things a bit harder.
I will try and arrange the room teh same way as well.
gosh theres so much to organise!

[Hester]

We moved two years ago when DS1 was 4 and DS2 was 2. We talked about it and visited the house when we were getting it ready. And I agree with the pp that on the moving day, they wake up and they will go to bed in a finished room in the new home. And with finished I mean everything, bed, curtains, toys, stuffies, everything he normally had in his room. Both my boys helped move stuff into the moving truck, but then played somewhere else when we unloaded the truck, so they didn't experience chaos all day, but were still part of the move. We ate McDonalds at night in the new home as a treat (they LOVE McD I am sad to say) and we kept the bedtime routine the same. They were fine. They were a bit off in the days after, more clingy and easily upset, but that was to be expected and I just played with them more.
Both boys are spirited, but with plenty of 'warning' about the move in an upbeat way and being able to help, they were fine.
And I can't stress enough the importance of THEIR space being ready when they come 'home'.

[*Jo*]

Thanks Hester. I just feel so silly talking about a house that he's not even seen yet, he kinda looks at me like "ok, whatever, where's my trains?" or just ignores me. I don't think he actually understands what I'm trying to say, I guess I keep doing it though. Once we get the keys it should be a bit better, I will be able to show him the place and the nice big backyard etc, I definately think he works better with the visual rather than just telling him