Where do I start? Please help

[Bex09]

I am back again, still having major problems with just about everything to do with our EASY and am about to just give up! Am at my wits end and can't seem to pull things around due to so many issues. What should I deal with first? My LO is nearly 15 weeks old now and has started sleeping from about 7.30/8.00 to 6.00/6.30 with a DF at 10.30. Since this has happened she can't go longer than 3hrs between feeds, which is fine but her naps and A times are totally messed up. Her dummy has become a total prop, she fights her swaddle but is so wriggly she needs it to sleep, she wakes earlier each day-  5.20 this morning! To top it all off she isn't an independent sleeper due to reflux issues and I seem to be house bound spending all day fighting to get her to sleep or getting her back to sleep when she wakes early from a nap. We are both exhausted. Please help us get back on track although I think I am a lost cause! TIA x

[LizzieN]

Oh Becky,
Hugs lovely, things are always harder with a refluxer!

Firstly, I'm so glad that you are getting good night time sleep.  Don't forget that babies have growth spurts pretty much every even week, so you may be having one which is why you are getting earlier wake ups. 

Have you tried treating the EW as a night feed and keeping it really quiet and then putting her straight back down?

Ok you say the dummy is a prop now, so usually I would say get rid of it, but with a refluxer sometimes it's all you can do to help.  I'm wondering does she routinely find her hands now and does she find them comforting.  Could you perhaps unwrap one arm so she could suck on her hands if she loses the dummy?  My LO is a bit older than yours and she loves sucking her hands but seems to get irritated by them when she is tired, hence we are still using the swaddle.

Don't know if this is a great idea, but I am doing a 4 hour EASY with C now but because she has low weight gain I'm actually doing EAEAS, so she feeds when she wakes and 1.5 hours into her A time then off to bed at 2 hours....perhaps you could try something similar to help her?  Just watch you aren't feeding to sleep during the day, you need some low key A time after the feed, even if it is a burp, wrap and quick story/cuddle/song.

The main thing I think you need to do is try and get your doc on board to trial a reflux med (more than the gaviscon)....so many of your issues will reduce if your LO is comfortable.  Not that I'm saying it will cure everything, but it will certainly help.  There is no way you could sleep well regurgitating acid....

One other piece of advice, if the morning naps go well, get out and about in the afternoon.  Give her a "fresh nose" too...it will do you all good.  If she doesn't sleep, that's ok, just work on your morning ones for now!  You CAN'T shut yourself away forever, and trust me when you have two it makes you realise that the "ideal" is not alway attainable, and generally they adapt pretty well xx

Hugs lovely, and more hugs
xxxxx

[Bex09]

Oh Lizzie thank you so much for replying you have saved my sanity as I read your reply and though I need to get out of the house! So we got in the car and went to the shops and C was asleep in 5mins! Yet I had been trying for ages! It was just great to get out, so thankyou so much.
As for my issues I do think a longer A time like 2hrs would be better but I just can't seem to get it right for her. She gives no sleepy cues til it is too late and is so hard to read. I will try extending these tomorrow. Also going to try feeding at the EW too as she is tending to do a 10h night where as nearer 12 would be better. The doc has now said I can try Enfamil anti reflux milk and if that doesn't work she will put her on ranitadine (sp?) at last. Going to get the milk tomorrow. She does suck her hands but not for sleep! if we leave a hand out she uses it to pull her dummy out and then cries! I guess I will just have to put up with the AP to sleep for now, but even that isn't working and she is so OT bless her.

Sorry I haven't been on the other post didn't want to burden and moan! Thanks again hunnie will let you know how we go.

[LizzieN]

Beautiful, SO glad you got out of the house!

I'm not sure how much of my story you know, but I will share a little bit - hopefully it will make you feel better.

Our DS had silent and not silent reflux from birth, he screamed and screamed and comfort fed for up to 1.5 hours at a time...he started throwing up at 6ish weeks and his weight gain went to pot....but we didn't get any help, and no one knew enough about reflux to tell us to INSIST On help (I wish I had known this forum was here!!)...anyway, it was hard and I feel SO guilty for not pushing for help, but I honestly didn't know how NOT NORMAL DS was being a first time mummy and all that!

I had some pretty low times, not really PPD, just complete and utter exhaustion, bad hormones on the mini pill (which I realised this time was making me a horrible person but didn't recognise last time 'cause I was feeling so cr@p already) etc.

I put DS to sleep in my arms for 11 months because he could not go to sleep horizontal, sometimes he would cry for 1.5 hours in my arms before passing out.  His naps were dreadful, usually 10 or 20 minutes then I would have to resettle (again) and the afternoon ones were pretty much non-existant....so I decided:

- The afternoon is mine, for whatever I wanted to do....if I wanted to stay in and try and get him to nap, fine, if not it was a pram walk to the supermarket or a car ride or anything to stop me going insane....sitting outside under the washing line, when the weather was nice!!

- A times are hard to pick with refluxers, DS was permanantly OT (infact looking at pictures now the poor little man looked exhausted) so I would just find a time that seemed to work most of the time and stick to it unless I saw obvious sleepy cues before it....so normally it would have been 1.5-2 hours ( a shorter one in the morning and longer in the afternoon seemed to work for him)..

- We did use a dummy even though I got so upset about using it, it was necessary (and he still has it, but it will be going soon me thinks )

And finally in retrospect I would have belted the bdy doctors door down and insisted on meds...second time around our DD has been medicated with a PPI since she was 4 weeks old.  I hope to wean her soon, but I wasn't going to make the same mistakes twice

GOOOD LUCCCKKKKK with the reflux formula, and sweets if you don't see a marked improvement in a couple of days GO BACK and get the meds...couple of things to note, ranitidine can be great but sometimes doesn't work (didn't work for us we needed a PPI - proton pump inhibitor) and watch out for constipation with new formula and ranitidine xx

Hugs lovely, seriously come and moan, we are all over there to chat about our lives

Please do keep me updated hun
xxxxx

[Bex09]

Hi Lizzie thanks soooo much again hearing your story makes me realise others go through and are going through the same issues and that is such a relief! Know that sounds stupid but it just helps! C sounds exactly the same as your D except she got diagnosed at 6 wks but not that she has been on proper meds though, grrrr. Doc has only given in now cos I have gone on THAT much... one doc said I would have to put up with it until she grew out of it!!!!!
Do you honestly think things will improve with proper meds? I feel so bad for her, like you said she looks exhausted all the time too. Her longest nap today was 30mins, we also had 20 and 10 mins! She has collapsed asleep at bedtime bless her. I wish I could just make it all ok for her it breaks my heart. Thanks so much again lovely. xxxx

[LizzieN]

Proper medication will not fix everything sweetheart, it doesn't stop the regurgitation (although domperidone can be prescribed to make the milk pass through the gut more quickly) but what it does is it stops the regurgitation from hurting by either neutrilising the acid (ranitidine) or by stopping the acid being pumped into the stomach (a proton pump inhibitor).  We have both our kids on a PPI.

As to the doc who said you should put up with it, I would like to see her suffer from reflux every minute of her life and be told she has to lie down with it and see how long she lasts for....that is such a bs, narrow minded load of cr@p....you wouldn't put up with it as an adult so why tell someone that their baby should just "put up with it"...you can't even explain to babies WHY it hurts. stupid doctor!

I DO think things will improve on proper meds sweetheart, the way I see it is it "evens" your days out, it doesn't completely fix things but it makes them comfortable enough that they are able to sleep better, they are happier when feeding and they are able to show their gorgeous little personalities....I was so anti medicating with anything in the early days with DS, and I can't tell you the guilt and responsibility I feel for all the unnecessary pain he was in...we also didn't get good help or advice (even from the paediatrician in the early days), but we are our babies ONLY voices, we are their advocates, we are their parents

You are doing a wonderful job for your DD sweetie, you are amazing and I hope that this next step really helps xxx
lots of love!