Help! We moved and now have a SUPER early waking!

[BareFootMomma]

DD is 14 months old, and has been sleeping great in the mornings since she went to 1 nap at 12 months. It took some days of 2 naps, but she was mostly doing one nap. She was starting to sleep in until 9 almost every morning. Then she would go to bed at 8-8:30pm with a nap from 1-2 or 2:30. I was planning to work towards lengthening her nap after our move. Now that we are here, DD has started waking at 5am, not wanting naps period, and not wanting to go to bed until 8:30-9pm.

Today, it looks like she may need 3 naps to keep from going to bed for the night at 5. I am totally at a loss of how to get her back to taking more than an hour nap at a time, and how to get her sleeping in again without going insane. DH is not willing to help with PU/PD in case that make the suggestions different. I need help!

[anna*]

So what sort of routine is she doing now? Can you do PUPD (or at this age Walk In Walk Out) without DHs help?

[BareFootMomma]

Her old "usual" routine used to be:

Wake - 9
Nap - 1
Wake - anywhere from2-3:30 (our only issue before the move)
Bed - 7:30-8:30 (depending on her nap)

Well this morning, she was up at 5, and I tried to put her down for a nap at 8:30 with no luck. She finally went to sleep (two tries later) at 9:40 and is still asleep....for now.

I honestly don't know what to do with the rest of the day. 2 naps, 3, 1, super early bedtime or try for her normal time or 7:30-8?

I have tried Pu/Pd, but it has only seemed to make her more upset. What exactly is Wi/Wo? Whenever I walk into the room she gets MORE hysterical until I pick her up. Then as soon as I put her down (or even turn towards the crib) she starts crying and screaming. I have always put her down before she is asleep, but now she seems to know when I am about to put her down and she freaks out. Do I just keep laying her down over and over and let her scream until she falls asleep?

[anna*]

(((hugs))) this is hard. It sounds like she's gotten herself overtired and having trouble getting out of it. In this situation I used to always do a SHORT am nap, because I knew that if I let him sleep, he would fail to take a pm nap and then we would wind up doing bedtime insanely early. So I guess that would be my advice, to do a 45 mins am nap at 10am, and then a (we hope) longer pm nap at around 1.30. If the pm nap is short too then yes do a 5.30pm bedtime - even if she still wakes at 5.30am, at least she will have had a 12 hour night.

Walk in Walk out is as it sounds. You leave the room (even though she is crying), you stand outside the room and listen to how she is crying, if it's definitely 'I need you', you go back in, lie her down using your key sleep phrase, then walk back out again. If she's whining, shouting, taking pauses in her crying, fussing, you don't go in. Yes there is a LOT of crying involved, because sleep training toddlers is hard, hard work - they don't like change, especially when they're tired and frustrated. But no harm will come to her because you are reassuring her that you will always return if she is crying, but she has to settle herself to sleep.

[BareFootMomma]

OK, I guess I have been kind of doing Wi/Wo. I walk out (usually because I am so frustrated I can't stand it anymore) and I stay out for a minute or two and then go back in if she is really upset. That is the only way she went to sleep last night and just now for her second nap. I feel like I am doing CIO though because she is usually SO upset when I walk out. But I go back in if her crying hasn't calmed down in 60 seconds. It is harder to tell with her which is her "I need you" though because she just screams until her voice gives out or breaks, and she does the same thing when she is just really angry. Do I go back in then, or do I stay out?

Anyways, her day looked like this today.

Wake - 5am
Nap - 9:30 (I thought it was 9:40 before but it was 9:30)
Woke - 11:01
Nap - 3:40-45
I am going to get her up now - 4:10 so that she can go to bed by 7:30-8 (hopefully)

We also have a whole slew of AP to sleep props that I have postponed dealing with until after this move. So she is not used to settling herself to sleep unless she is SUPER drowsy. Ugh. I have Tracie's voice in my head "start as you mean to go". WHY did I let the AP get this out of hand?! I guess there is no time like the present to work on things.

[anna*]

Ok, if she is not already used to independent sleep, I would definitely take a more gradual approach - just stay with her in her room while she settles. It doesn't matter if you don't feel like you can soothe her, the important thing is just to be present and let her know what she needs to do. You could sit on the floor next to the cot and pay the mattress while saying 'lie down baby'.

I'd consider limiting her naps while she is waking so early, so she isn't making up lost sleep from the morning inher daytime sleeps. Maybe 45 mins for 1 nap and 90 mins for the other?

[BareFootMomma]

Last night we went to sleep for the night much easier for DH than for me. She fussed for a few minutes, he patted her back a couple times and then walked out and she went to sleep. She woke up at 3 and it took me almost an hour to get her back to sleep. She would go to sleep for 10-15 minutes and then wake up screaming again. Then she slept until 7:10, which is a huge improvement!

She is pretty cranky this morning, so I am going to try to have her take two naps. Probably a 45 and a 90 like you suggested.....if I can fit them both in. I will try a more gradual approach to getting her to settle by herself.

[BareFootMomma]

Your suggestion worked really well! Her first nap was deliciously simple with no crying at all. I was planning to put her down awake, but by the time I had wrapped her in her blanked and picked her up she was asleep.

Her second nap was a little struggle, but I laid on the floor with my hand through the bars of the crib, patted and touched her hand and head, and after only about 10 minutes she was asleep and I was able to sneak out. She is only going to get a 70 minute second nap, but had a solid 45 minute morning nap so I think it will be enough. All in all her schedule for today has been:

Wake - 7:10
Nap - 11:00
Wake - 11:45
Nap - 2:50
Then (hopefully)
Wake - 4:00
Sleep - 8:00-8:30

I am hopefully that tomorrow will be even better than today.

[anna*]

that's a great update! Good day! Good job mama, good job baby girl!!

[BareFootMomma]

She slept all night without making a sound, and woke at 7:30. Now I am not sure if I should try to fit two naps, or if I should try to stretch her first A time enough to get one nap and a not too early bed time. I am really curious if she will sleep in later if she gets only one nap, but I don't want to risk OT now that she is catching up on sleep.

Thoughts?

[anna*]

I'd try for a 30 mins am and a long pm. If she says no to a morning nap, then you can bring the pm nap early and do early bedtime if necessary.

[BareFootMomma]

How does this schedule look?

wake - 7:30
nap - 11:30
wake - 12:00
nap - 3:00
wake - 4:30
Bed - 8:00-8:30

[anna*]

It looks great! If she seems tired earlier you could bring naps and bedtime forward by half an hour.

[BareFootMomma]

The last few days have been mostly great! Yesterday she refused her second nap even though her first one was only 30 minutes long. She went to bed super early and slept in until 8 this morning. I decided to do just one nap, and it went great! She slept for 2.5 hours and then went to bed at 8. I am hoping she sleeps in again tomorrow.

[anna*]

great update!