How do you tell between Sep Anxiety or OT at bedtime? Any help appreciated!

[Seren mum]

Hi

Just wondering how I can tell whether my 8month old dd is going through some seperation anxiety or it just OT by bedtime?  Over the last 2 weeks we have been increasing A times (from 3 hours to now at about 3h and 25 mins) to try and deal with EW.  At the same time, she has started really crying when we try and put her to sleep.  She will settle down in her cot but as soon as we try and leave the room she immediately starts to cry and won't settle.  Thinking it might be OT, I put her down earlier for BT last night (6:15pm after A time of 3 hours 10 minutes) and she was happy enough for about 20 mins but then really started crying and we had to keep going in and out and eventually sat by her bed until she feel asleep at 7:15pm.

I'm just confused??

She settles fine without me for naps and is napping normally 1.5-2 hours for one nap and about 45mins-1hour for the other.

If it's seperation anxiety, what do you recommend I do?  I think I read somewhere about WIWO but have no information about how to do this...

[Colin Macs Mom]

It does sound like OT to me. She's rather young yet for SA. OT is a common problem when increasing A times. Am I correct in understanding that she only does this when you put her down for night sleep, not naps?

WI/WO is for older babies, like 12 mo and over so that's not going to be an option for you just yet.

[Seren mum]

Thanks for your reply.  Yes, it's only really for bedtime when she really cries.  I'm just totally confused.  You might be right that it's OT, but she is doing some things which seem a bit UT too.
These are the things she is doing just in the last week (which are different from the norm for her):
- EW normally 5:15 -5:30
- Crying at bedtime (I've tried early bedtimes the past two nights, and she first settles ok talking to herself but after about 1/2 hour she cries until we come in and will settle down with us just standing by her bed)
- Wakes after 1/2-1 hour after bedtime crying and we need to shush for 5 mins to get her back to sleep
- Talking shortish naps.  The last two days she is doing about 1.15 hours in the am and then only 30-45mins in the pm (I assumed that if she was OT she would sleep more than the 1.15 in the am??)
- Has started doing a NW again and needs us to shush her for 5 mins (normally around 1am)

With all of the above, I'm guessing it's OT, but she seems pretty happy during the day...

If you think it's OT, should I just pull her A times back a bit for a while and keep doing the early bedtime?  (However,  I am aware that I still need to try and push out her first A time to try and also combat EW.  Is that right?)

[Colin Macs Mom]

I am not good with EW myself as that's one of the few problems we never had with Colin, I must confess. I do understand though that a longer first A time can help though, at least for some people.

What is her temperment? It does sound like OT to me, and if she's Angel or Textbook it's entirely possible that she's coping pretty well during the day as those types do.

[Seren mum]

Yes, she's a Textbook baby pretty much.   So, maybe you're right that it's OT.  To stop the OT, do you suggest just doing a few shorter A times (we went straight from 3.10 to 3.30 over the last week so maybe this was too much too quickly), so maybe pull back the 2nd and 3rd A times to 3.15?  I'm pretty much doing a set nap at 9am at the moment (regardless of when she wakes up)  and I seem to be getting at least a hour or more nap from this.

[Colin Macs Mom]

That's GREAT that the 9am nap is working so well! Yes I would go back to 3.15 and see what that does for you. It sounds like maybe it was too quick.