Teeth brushing - we are dong the pin him down and force it method.....

[Mashi]

I spent 5 hours last night going through the forum for teeth brushing threads and can't find any tips that we have not tried that actually work.  Hoping maybe someone has some new ones lately

For about the past 6-8 weeks or so (ha! just like every other issue we are dealing with!!!) DS is refusing to have his teeth brushed. At first we were letting him do it to at least get it "done" but his teeth were not getting cleaned at all doing it his way so we have had to take over the job. We offer to let him do it first and then us do it second but he's against it.  As soon as the word "mouth" or "teeth" or "toothbrush" is uttered he screams his head off and runs somewhere to hide. He clamps his mouth shut, bites is hands, pushes, thrashes, scratches at us, pounds the walls, throws things around the room, etc.  It has been a good month or so of pinning him down, holding his arms by the wrists so he can't slap me and taking advantage of fact that because he is screaming his head off and crying his eyes out it means his mouth is open and scrubbing them while he literally FREAKS out.

I agree with the idea of "pick your battles" but for me this is basic hygiene and teeth must be brushed three times a day. It is 100% non-negotiable.  But this battle three times a day, 30 minutes each time, has gone beyond stupid.  I get so riled up that today after going through it all I have yelled at him, told him I have had it with this teeth brushing BS and stuck him in his cot crying his eyes out and pulled his bedroom door closed. We were supposed to meet friends 30 minutes ago but it took me nearly AN HOUR to brush his teeth so we are still at home. 

I can't keep going through this, for me OR him, but teeth need to be brushed. I need BTDT support!!!

PS - stickers, rewards, timers, distraction, two toothbrushes, him doing mine -- done it all.  Some of them worked for a day, some of them for a couple of days, and one of them got me a bloody nose. 

Please, I need survival tactics!

[squeakersmum]

Oh poor you.  Must be a truly harrowing experience for you both.

OK - when he does it himself does he put the brush in his mouth and chew at all?

Just thinking what works for us (although we had some refusal, never as bad as you have).  Here the key is independence so when DH brushes his own teeth in the morning he puts the tiniest smear of toothpaste on DSs toothbrush and lets him get on with it (he generally gets given a bit of shaving foam to smear all over the bathroom too ) so he is just like daddy.  Then after breakfast and DH has left for work I take him to get him dressed and we brush our teeth so I have my brush, I put paste on his and have 'my turn' to brush his teeth.  I do it first and then he gets his turn while I brush mine.

In the evening DH does bath time and usually gives him his brush while he's getting him dressed and I do bed time and again brush my teeth at the same time as we do his.

So he gets them brushed twice a day properly but I've only ever brushed mine morning and night.

Maybe let him do it totally himself for a few days to try and get over the negative association?
Ben knows that he gets to have a go after I have had my turn when we do it and likes putting the brush under the water and turning the taps on and off etc so I think he puts up with me insisting I have a go in order to get to the good bit!

[clazzat]

My dentist friend told me that at this age it is more about making it part of the routine and getting flouride into their mouths than scrubbing their teeth, so we give the girls their toothbrushes with toothpaste on to chew for a bit, and then we do a quick brush once they have finished, but I never force it if they are resisting - so they "clean" their teeth twice a day, but I generally only brush them once a day for them.  Perhaps if you could explain to mini-Mashi that he gets to clean them in the morning and at lunchtime but Mummy has to do it at night he might resist a bit less?

[clazzat]

Another thing which I have just thought of - could he chose a really special toothbrush that you use to brush his teeth?  So he uses a boring one when it is his turn, but if he lets you do it, it can be a really fun toothbrush.

[KathrynK]

Mashi- have you tried an electric toothbrush? Sophie loved her "buzzy brush" at this age xx

[emz1907]

Listening in for tips as we have similar problems. Im so concious that ds doesn't get a good scrub on his teeth and only allows me minimal time to do it for him before freaking out so it's good to read that it's the flouride that's important and not just the scrubbing. We sort of get by these days by a few tricks, I tell him we have to get all the pasta/banana/cheese or whatever he's had to eat off his teeth (this is just for bedtime brushes really) and he seems keen then like he must imagine his teeth are covered in food and starts naming food he's eaten that day. He has special ben10 toothpaste which is green gel and I make a big deal of 'oooh it's time to put special ben10 slime on our teeth yay' LOL. Luckily he also saw an episode of Special Agent Oso where he helped a girl brush her teeth and I'll remind him to 'do it like Oso says and make circles'. He does tend to chew more than brush though, if he does happen to let me have a brush and opens his mouth well I make a massive fuss of how well he had done.

[Mashi]

We have tried all of those things - him getting a turn, then me taking my turn...that worked 6 months ago with no problems and there were no fights, but he's decided that's just not fun anymore. He might understand the things I tell him about getting his teeth cleaned, letting me have a turn, etc but he doesn't care!! 

When he was younger we took the approach that he could chew on the brush and that was enough, but now that he's eating an "adult" diet (Ha, when he eats that is!!!), it's not good enough as there is food stuck in the surfaces and the gums and it does need a decent brush to get them out especially his back molars...his lower teeth are a bit gappy and food gets caught between them - my sister (a dentist) and our dentist are both strongly encouraging me to start flossing as that is also important at a young age, which I can't imagine attempting, I'll probably lose a finger!!

Mashi- have you tried an electric toothbrush? Sophie loved her "buzzy brush" at this age xx

That is one thing I meant to ask - if anyone has had any luck with an electric at this age or if it's too young. He will either like it or it will terrify him - they are expensive here (80 ish Euros, but all three of us would use it) - so I don't want to spend that kind of money if it's not going to make anything any easier for him!  How old was Sophie when she was okay with using an electric one?

Emma we saw that Oso episode as well, DS totally freaked and turned it off

ARGHHHHH life was great until the day he turned 2 and it is like something totally clicked in him and he's Mr Difficult now!!!!!

[emz1907]

You've probably thought of this too but what about finding a little book about brushing teeth or maybe other shows have teeth brushing in them? I've seen a few clips of kids brushing their teeth on programmes but can't for the life of me think of them now, but may help him see other kids doing it so he doesn't feel singled out? Thing is in his head it's built up into this massive deal and he must get anxious of the drama that's about to play out as soon as you mention it to him, Im trying to think of ways to be more casual about it without stepping back too much and allowing him to not brush kwim? hmmm will have to think....

[Mashi]

Yes Emma that is what we are trying. We did back off for a while - a good week or so where his teeth hardly got cleaned, and slowly built up again, and his tantrums built up with it.  Let me know if you come up with any ideas!

[LucySol]

i am out of ideas Mash cos i have the same problem and i have to pin D down to.i hold her cradled in my arms,she screams and i brush quick!! i know that doesnt give you any ideas but just letting you know its a battle here too!!

[emz1907]

NO idea if this would help but there are a ton of books on Amazon that he may read? (see customers also bought section for loads more...)

http://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Ready-Set-Brush/dp/0794414451/ref=pd_sim_b_1

[MLK]

The only thing that worked with DS1 was showing him pics of black rotten teeth and telling him that's what would happen if you don't brush your teeth. He was 3 though, he got his first tooth at 16 months, so around 18months to 2 years of no proper brushing? I took him for his first check-up at 6.5 because he was complaining of sore teeth but they are fine, no cavities. It is his 6 year old molars coming through  that are hurting.


DS2 - we let him 'brush' by himself first, he always asks for more toothpaste and lately I've been telling him he can only have some more if he lets me brush his teeth. I have to go really gently (esp with the 2 yo molars coming through) so not a good brush, but after what happened with DS1 and his teeth I'm trying not too stress too much!

[my3girlsjde]

I can vouch that the battery powered toothbrush CHANGED EVERYTHING
They were big chompers and weren't fans at all of us getting involved, but they had a facination with ours so we bought them each one with their favourite character on it. If you could find a battery operated one for now, they're not as good as the expensive electic ones, you may get ovet the hump and get him back into it.
They also love to do abything in the bathroom, wash hands, sit on the toilet etc that they see us do so they get to do whatever they want in there and we incorporate toothbrushing into it. We also took the stance that the new toothbrush is a priveledge and a "guess what you get to do!" stance.
If you can get a cheap one (quality doesn't matter for now) use it as a stepping stone. We have a special mouthwash safe for kids here that highlights the germs on teeth and then they get to brush it off. Perhaps this could be a game?
 

[Mashi]

Lucy thanks for piping in - I think my DS and Daisy are going through a lot of similar things at the moment so at least I know it's not "me" here!!!  I could try some story books...we were looking at a lift-the-flap book at the library a few weeks ago (his favourite type of book, he goes nuts for them) and one of the pages had a little boy in the bathroom and you opened the flap to the medicine chest and there was his toothbrush, you could take it out on a string and use the cardboard toothbrush to brush his teeth, if you can picture what I mean. Anyway DS picked the book, so I had no idea what the pages would be (ie/ so it was not me using it to encourage him iyswim) and when we got to the toothbrush page he threw it across the floor   He's being SUCH a determined, my-way-or-else 2 year old these days isn't he!?!!!

Vicki I will have at look at the battery toothbrushes this week...I had a peek at them not long ago and the heads on them are VERY big, and they are quite bulky and heavy to fit in his hand. There is not a lot of variety in them here like I know they have elsewhere.   I was also against it because they really are not good for cleaning purposes but you are right, if it is a stepping stone to a better experience then I need to choose and can accept poorer cleaning for a couple of weeks I guess.   I will also ask my sister about that mouthwash and see if she is able to get me some, what brand is it?

[*Becky*]

DS would never let us clean his teeth and he always just played about with the toothbrush in the bath. I bought him an electric toothbrush from jojo maman bebe and it was a good one but tbh for us it did not help much. We also literally would have had to hold him down to do it and there would have been much screaming etc and it was just not what I wanted but I also knew we had to change something.
So....after milk and books DH took over the teeth cleaning to begin with. He made it into a really big deal e.g. they do a hug and a kiss before they start (mainly because DS just kept saying 'hug hug' when he was trying to clean the teeth - major avoidance tactic!) He sits on a special seat, he is allowed his turn first and then dh carries on. DH always says 1 2 3 Done at the end.
He also began by having little bits in his shirt pocket so DS would play with them i.e. a plectrum.
It really worked and still does. Dh started it but he is not in every night so I do it now too and we never have any complaints from him which is amazing when I think back to 3 months ago.

Now I need to start a good routine in the am as I must admit I don't really enforce anything then.

I think I would not worry about 3 x a day - that is really tough and most adults don't clean them that often I don't think.

bx