snacking grrrrrrr its affecting mealtimes

[*Jo*]

Hi ladies, well Caleb is a snacker and I cant get him out of it!!! heres how our routine usually goes

awake anywhere between 6.10am - 7am
breakfast at 7.30am
morning tea at 9.30/10am depending how hungry he is
lunch 11.45
nap 12.30-1.30
afternoon tea 2.30/3pm
dinner 5/5.30

the thing is hes not really eating much breakfast anymore (he used to eat LOADS at breakfast and this issue only was after lunch) so hes really hungry earlier, he goes to the pantry, opens it up and grabs some crackers or biscuits. If i stop him he cries and throws a fit and I say "wait until morning tea time" but then I think, thats pretty mean, if hes hungry cos hes not had more breakfast why am I making him wait? you dont make a hungry child wait! so i give him a quick cracker to tie him over, but its never enough, he keeps coming back and its not even 9am yet!!! then we have morning tea and thats fine, sometimes he does the same after that until lunchtime though.
roll on lunch and depending on what it is (and how many snacks hes had) he will eat a little or alot, then he has his nap and after that hes constantly doing the same thing right through till dinner time. I even bought dinner forward to about 4.30 for awhile, but he would have two bites and not want anymore so then he wanted to snack again after that!

So when do i say no to a hungry child? how do i get him to eat at breakfast and lunch etc to stop this spiraling out that come dinnertime he hardly eats anything at all?? I look at him and hes a solid boy, he doesnt lack in taht aspect, so maybe hes eating too many snacks and hes becoming unhealthy etc etc

and then I think, well maybe its the food Im giving him that he really doesnt like because there are a few meals I know I can garuantee he will eat moutainloads of. but there are only a few and I cant feed him those all the time

any advise greatly appreciated

[Colin Macs Mom]

Colin tends towards snacking as well, ever since he's been on solids. If he had his way, he's have something on hand literally throughout the day and never have to sit at the table for an actual meal. I know this is probably not what you want to hear Jo, but you're making a rod for your back if you go with this

so i give him a quick cracker to tie him over, but its never enough, he keeps coming back and its not even 9am yet!!!

If you give in, then you're perpetuating the cycle. I know it's hard to say no, believe me, but if you want to break the cycle it will have to be done. What we did was start by telling him that on X day he was going to have to eat an actual breakfast because there would be no snacks. Colin doesn't take well to sudden change so for us it was really important to communicate with him that change was coming. And keep mentioning it until X day. And then on X day, that was that. He was served breakfast and it was a day of saying no between meals of course   although he has always had a snack between lunch and dinner, so that of course is fine. It's like with sleep training - you have to stick to your guns and show them how things will be. The reality is, he's not going to starve to death over a few hours and it won't harm him to be hungry here and there for a day or two while the habit resets.

JMHO of course

[momtonb&ab]

we had to stop snacks as well....i found with snacks they were just picking at meal time and holding out for the snacks.   

you could stop buying the crackers (or empty the cupboards you keep it in so he sees there are no snacks there) ....

i actually ran out of the things they snacked on so i could say to them honestly "we don't have any crackers, we will just have to wait for lunch to eat'.   i also had to get a bit more stern with breakfast so we wouldn't get off track the whole day - for a while i had to feed the breakfast to them to get enough into those bellies.   i don't believe as a rule in 'emptying your plate' but for breakfast when i know they are hungry and like what i am offering.  on those occassions i insist they finish before they get down to be sure that we start the day on a full belly.

for breakfast will he eat something filling like oat bran or oatmeal that will really fill his belly?  i found as well that cold cereal or toast, that sort of thing, wasn't enough to hold them.   

oh, and we don't do milk until after some breakfast has been consumed - filling up on milk was totally a problem for us!

[Mom to M&M]

In addition to what Jessica and Cherie have said, we've had some success with at least making snacks healthier too. So rather than crackers or the like as an AM snack, I often have a banana or a homemade granola bar with me while out and about (we tend to do errands late morning). So at least if he does snack it's something wholesome and not just filling his belly with empty calories. As for DD, she'd happily snack all day instead of eat meals BUT knows that won't be allowed. I warn her after breakfast that there are no snacks until X time and to make sure she's full. Same with lunch (when she's at home, nothing I can do at school). And often she whines for a snack after school/before dinner. And she's truly understandably hungry at that point. But since it's already 4pm and we tend to eat dinner around 5:30, I only let her have something like a fruit leather or a bit of fresh fruit or veggies and dip...

[Tweakster]

If you give in, then you're perpetuating the cycle. I know it's hard to say no, believe me, but if you want to break the cycle it will have to be done. What we did was start by telling him that on X day he was going to have to eat an actual breakfast because there would be no snacks. Colin doesn't take well to sudden change so for us it was really important to communicate with him that change was coming. And keep mentioning it until X day. And then on X day, that was that. He was served breakfast and it was a day of saying no between meals of course Wink  although he has always had a snack between lunch and dinner, so that of course is fine. It's like with sleep training - you have to stick to your guns and show them how things will be. The reality is, he's not going to starve to death over a few hours and it won't harm him to be hungry here and there for a day or two while the habit resets.

Heard this exact scenario and advice on the Parenting Show this week (it's a local cable show and I get a lot of advice from it!).  I agree with Jess.

At times when they are going through growth spurts, they may need the additional calories, but that is when they are also eating well at the other meals and this would be in addition to what is already being eaten.  But on an average day, I would just tell him, that's it until next meal kid!  He will likely give you kick back the first few times, can't blame him there really, but he will learn really really fast, as they do :-)

[Colin Macs Mom]

You have an actual parenting tv show?!

[Tweakster]

Yes it's wonderful!  It's a call in so you can ask any parenting question, sometimes they do specific topics and other times they have open forum so anything goes.  Monday's episode was about food issues and this exact scenario came up!  The parenting expert said 'no kid is going to starve to death in 2 hrs' lol - almost verbatim to what you said!

[okinawamama]

I've had some success in delaying breakfast for an hour or so after waking (heck, I don't even eat immediately after I wake, I give my body a little bit) and therefore he is nice and hungry and he eats a nice large breakfast. This naturally cuts down on snacking and it positively affects the rest of our day. I no longer give a morning snack (and there is no complaining/asking) , but I do give one immediately after nap and then dinner is 3hrs later.

[Tweakster]

We tend to give him a snack only when he asks for one, which is occasional.  Daycare has snack times but he's not always hungry for lunch if we follow their regime on weekends.  We also tend to eat breakfast later on weekends, he's not really hungry when he wakes (most days, some days he's beelining for the booster seat!).  Then lunch gets sometimes split over before and after nap.  Dinner is the solidly placed meal, takes place about 1-1.5 hrs before bedtime.

I like Steph's tip about waiting a bit for bfast?  Do you think he would hold out a bit and eat a bit more?

Finn has access to his milk as soon as he wakes but he isn't that interested.  The only milk he's really hankering for is the bedtime bottle (surprised lol?)  Other than that he's a sipper all day.

[Colin Macs Mom]

I want to be Canadian!

[momtonb&ab]

I want to be Canadian!

anytime!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jess, lukeys_mom]

Hi jo,

Does Caleb still do milk in the morning?  Dylan does, and we delay breakfast as pp said.  He gets up in the early 7's, has a little milk, and then usually breakfast at 8.30 ish.  Breakfast is the one meal that I do not really experiment with, and serve consistently what I know he really likes. I have found that on days he starts off with a big full breakfast, eating goes better overall.

Also, can you do breakfast and morning snack (tea lol ) closer together?

Our day care actually got us into a pretty good default eating time routine, here is a sample:

8.30 breakfast (home)
9.30 fruit snack at dc (fresh pieces of apple, banana, etc)
11.30 lunch
12.30 nap
2.30/right after nap: yogurt
4ish a cracker or a breadstick
5.30/6 dinner

We do give the occasional couple of cheerios, but find the morning is the most key to the rest of the day (kinda like naps always were )

Also wanted to add that I always find with both kids and especially Dylan, when we are hanging around the house a lot then they just want to graze. I suspect sometimes that it's just out of boredom. When we are out and about doinglots of stuff, they are usually not begging for snacks.

PS.

I want to be Canadian!

Me too! Parenting shows are just the tip of the iceberg!

[Mashi]

Jess's eating routine is almost identical to ours, the only difference is that milk and breakfast are together - my DS gets a sippy of milk and a bowl of dry cheerios to sit and watch morning cartoons with for 20-30 minutes when he wakes. Once he is up and about, he has a big breakfast - can be any or all of another bowl of cereal, toast, pancakes, oatmeal, and fruit. Snack at 930/1000ish, lunch at 1130/12ish, yogurt and fruit as soon as he's up from nap, rice cracker or something light at 4ish if he wants, and then dinner at 530/6ish. I don't sway from that and find it VERY hard when DS is home on weekends and decides to make himself breakfast at 1030 and lunch at 3pm it is a total nightmare as DS wants to pick from DH's plate and then it throws the whole day into whack.

Also (as Jess said!) when we are home he has a tendancy to want to snack all day, much is out of boredom, but if we head out the door at 9am and are not home until 1200ish he can easily last that entire time without a snack because he is too busy to think about it. On days when he does want a snack (I always take snacks with me just in case) he often eats the bare minimum that his tummy needs and then is not bothered at all.  Same in the afternoon - he will be begging for snacks by 4pm crying as if I am starving him but put his shoes on and take him outside and food is forgotten!

The other thing that I have done when he gets in snacky phases is to pre-plan the food day out for him and allow him to snack but only off of my "list" - so I would maybe make a list such as...

1 handful cheerios
1 piece toast with jam
2 slices turkey
2 cubes of cheese
small pot of corn/peas
3 cherry tomatoes
1 kiwi
pot of blueberries
1 rye biscuit/cracker with cream cheese
small bowl pasta with meat sauce
small pot of quark (fromage frais)

and then if he wants to snack and eat that in 6 or 8 small meals I am totally fine with that. If he comes to me at 930 and then at 1030 and again at 1130 and wants snacks, as long as each time he gets a snack it is something off of that list, and then it leaves him not hungry for lunch at 12, I am not as bothered.  But I do NOT give in to wanting sweet biscuits or 6 servings of fruit in the day, iyswim.  I will offer a slice of ham and a small pot of corn or peas at 1030 in the morning if he wants a snack, rather than biscuits and raisins which he begs for.  This way we both win

[*Jo*]

ok, i hear what you are all saying, he wont starve in the few hours between meals so i can knock that on the head. he has eaten a decent breakfast this morning, but as soon as he was down from the table he went to the pantry and then the fridge! I gave him an apple which of course he didnt eat and then DH put a DVD on for him so hes occupied now.
We do breakfast 30mins to an hour after he wakes because hes not hungry straight away either. We dont give him morning milk, i try to offer it after breakfast if he doesnt have cereal with milk in it but he doesnt really like it, he prefers water.

To be honest I do think most of it is from boredom but I would have to occupy him every single second of the day if thats the case, as soon as there isnt anything to do he goes to the pantry adn opens it up.

Mashi i like your idea of the list! mine would be alot shorter, he doesnt eat fruit or cold meats and cant have dairy so I would be at a loss to figure out my list.
I think so far mine would consist of only either soy yoghurt or 2 vita wheat crackers.

Today we have music and they give lunch there at 11am which is mainly muffins, cakes and a few sandwhiches, of course he only eats the sweet stuff, never the sandwhiches 

[anna*]

Move the snacks and crackers to a high shelf/cupboard out if sight, show him the empty cupboard, all gone, then he won't be going back and back there!