We will be starting in a month or so, so I am interested too in what others are doing. I don't remember counting amounts with T, I just offered and he ate what he ate. Which is really all you can do is offer, he will decide what he eats. And remember it doesn't matter if he eats one bite or 20 at this stage. But I wonder if, like you mentioned, Kai is filling up on calories at night and that's why he's just not that hungry for solids. It's a catch 22 isn't it, you want him to eat a bit more solids to hopefully get rid of some night feeds, but he won't drop night feeds yet so therefore isn't hungry for the solids!
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I think we will be in the same position because F still eats 2-3x night as well. There might be some better advice coming along, but I think you just do what you can and offer as much as you can. It sounds like you're doing the right things, and offering him finger foods helps too. Either that or get tough and drop a night feed cold turkey and see if it increases his appetite. As for what others are doing with solids, it helps to have an idea but try not to compare how much other babies are eating because they are different babies.
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