Is it just my kid who doesn't like going outside??

[aimeeL]

Am really trying hard recently to think up interesting, fun, engaging, creative activities for L and I to do while K naps - and especially for the next couple wks as we're still trying not to go out into the general public with K quite yet... But I feel like my child has become quite the "wet blanket" as of late.. doesn't seem to want to do ANY of the activities I suggest!  "Do you want to color?"  "No."  "Play with cars?  Dolls?  Finger paint?  Read?  Help me cook?  Sort the laundry?  Play with your barn/animals?"  EVERYTHING is answered with a "no".  The only thing she always, always says yes to is watching a DVD...    Which we do maybe once a day - more like every other day... and is not something I want her doing all the time!

Anyways - have garnered some ideas already for more indoor play, but wondering about outside play, too.. I know a lot of LOs who love going out and whose parents can hardly keep them inside... but L just doesn't seem interested.  Once I actually GET her out - through much cajoling and coaxing, she doesn't seem to mind so much.  We have a sandbox outside, a little slide/rollercoaster thingy, a tricycle, sidewalk chalk - lots to do, I think! (not to mention we literally live 1/4 mi from the beach!) - but nothing seems to appeal *enough* to her. 

This morning, I finally convinced her outside because I had a new package of sidewalk chalk.  She played with that for a bit, then wandered up and down the driveway, rolling a big bouncing ball.  She found a puddle to roll the ball around in and enjoyed that... then asked if she could get her crocs and hands wet.  I said yes, and she had fun at first... and then, after a few minutes, did a complete 180 and started crying because she was dirty and muddy.  And that ended our outdoor fun.  I was mentioning this to DH over lunch and he wondered if maybe she doesn't like being outdoors because it's such an "uncontrolled environment"??

I feel like I have a hard time keeping her occupied, and would love to spend some time outdoors with her - gardening in our yard, or going on long walks, etc, etc... any ideas how to help this?

[15milner]

I'm not sure how to answer the bit about going outside, but I get the feelign that you are 'frustrated' (perhaps a little strong) that all your suggestions are answered with a 'no'.

As a suggestion.  Try not to ask her a question where the answer could be 'no'.  eg.  shall we go and get your coat on to go outside?  answer - no.  rephrased to - you need your coat on, we're going outside, or go and get your coat - we're going outside.   It's less easy to reply with 'no!'

If it's sorting the laundry - how many red socks can we find?  you can sit and get the barn animals out and start to play alone - it's amazing how quickly they want to engage with you.  Or if she doesn't want to play barn animals with you,even though you've already started - engage her by inviting her to bring over what she does want to play with. 

hope that might help?

Alex

[Tatumsmom]

It just might be a phase, my dd loved going outside and then all of a sudden she just wanted to stay in. She sounds a lot like your DD and even now she rather stay inside... .  We live close to the beach too and a nice park and sometimes it's still hard to get her to go out. Sometimes I'll go outside to garden and she dosn't want to go...but it's not long till she follows me out . My lo is a little older then yours though, I think not giving her an option is a good idea I started saying..."It's time to head outside to do xyz ,if she said no I would say I was going to go alone then."

Don't worry they just like keeping us quessing.

[momtonb&ab]

instead of asking her if she wants to go out, how about offering two options:

we can do x or y, which do you prefer?  you can decide while we get our shoes on.

[We Three]

ITA about not phrasing as a question.   Can I ask you....I know it's hard, but do you seem enthusiastic when outside with her?  Are there things you can do *with* her....like, a couple of paintbrushes and a bucket of water...paint walkways, rocks, patio, whatever!  You can also have a hunt....some plastic animals (or stuffed ones on a nice day) that you hide all over the yard...give her a basket and try to find them.  Other *hunts* are fun, too..."Can we find a red leaf?"  "I wonder if we can find a black rock?"  Find the biggest leaf, the tiniest leaf. Wash the car, play hide and seek, I find that if I am enthusiastic and engaged, dd really comes alive.  I am not suggesting that you're not fun!!! LOL!  But I don't have a lo who will *play* with abandon unless I am doing it too.  Also...any friends with lo's who can come for a playdate? 

[aimeeL]

Ooh - lots of good thoughts - thanks, ladies.. your replies got me thinking a bunch of different directions..

First off - I *do* give her more closed-ended options (that might not be the phrase for it.. I know there's a name, though..)  I've tried the "We're going outside!  Should we play in the sandbox or should we do some gardening?"  But I think we've passed that stage, developmentally - because she KNOWS what she wants to do - and those things are not it.  If I do it as a straight statement - "Mama's gardening - come outside and play with me!" (or something like that), it's still met with resistance.  "No, Mama, I no wanna do that." 

In that same vein - I don't think that she's saying "no" most of the time just to be ornery.. I think there are times that she does that, but for the most part, she just doesn't seem to genuinely want to do those things...

I find that if I am enthusiastic and engaged, dd really comes alive. 

I had to mull this over more than once, Anne - because I think you hit on something.  I think I've been fairly positive... but I bet if I were more enthusiastic and engaging, the whole thing might be more appealing. 

But this conversation has got me thinking about something else I've been chewing on... and it kinda relates.. DH and I have been analyzing our parenting style a lot recently - given not only the changes that our new addition has brought, but also just where L is developmentally... you know how your LO goes through these huge leaps developmentally, and all of a sudden, you're left going, "Hmmm... what do we want to do about THAT?"  Anyways.  Like I said, have been thinking about our parenting recently, and I feel like I'm starting to get sucked into this model of me being the entertainer, and L being my audience.  As in - trying to do everything short of standing on my head to keep her entertained all day.  Like if I don't pull out a new toy or gizmo or trick, then she's "bored" and doesn't want to do anything.   Which is sort of what I was alluding to, I think, in my first paragraph of my first post.  She's tired of playing with everything in the house, and short of going out to Target to buy a new toy, I don't know how else to "entertain" her.  But that's exactly the crux of my problem, I think.  I don't WANT our days to be spent with me "entertaining".  I want to be able to just take long stroller walks, marveling at the birds we see, or lizards that creep by or shells on the beach.  I want to foster a contentment in simple things, a good work ethic, enjoyment in everyday life.  I don't want to feel like I'm having to hop from one activity to the next all day long - again, with this whole idea of keeping her "entertained". 

(The disclaimer to this, though, is that I think I'm painting us to be a very materialistic household with toys oozing out of every drawer, and we're not, and we don't!  I promise.  )

What do you think?