Ooh - lots of good thoughts - thanks, ladies.. your replies got me thinking a bunch of different directions..
First off - I *do* give her more closed-ended options (that might not be the phrase for it.. I know there's a name, though..) I've tried the "We're going outside! Should we play in the sandbox or should we do some gardening?" But I think we've passed that stage, developmentally - because she KNOWS what she wants to do - and those things are not it. If I do it as a straight statement - "Mama's gardening - come outside and play with me!" (or something like that), it's still met with resistance. "No, Mama, I no wanna do that."
In that same vein - I don't think that she's saying "no" most of the time just to be ornery.. I think there are times that she does that, but for the most part, she just doesn't seem to genuinely want to do those things...
I find that if I am enthusiastic and engaged, dd really comes alive.
I had to mull this over more than once, Anne - because I think you hit on something. I think I've been fairly positive... but I bet if I were more enthusiastic and engaging, the whole thing might be more appealing.
But this conversation has got me thinking about something else I've been chewing on... and it kinda relates.. DH and I have been analyzing our parenting style a lot recently - given not only the changes that our new addition has brought, but also just where L is developmentally... you know how your LO goes through these huge leaps developmentally, and all of a sudden, you're left going, "Hmmm... what do we want to do about THAT?" Anyways. Like I said, have been thinking about our parenting recently, and I feel like I'm starting to get sucked into this model of me being the entertainer, and L being my audience. As in - trying to do everything short of standing on my head to keep her entertained all day. Like if I don't pull out a new toy or gizmo or trick, then she's "bored" and doesn't want to do anything. Which is sort of what I was alluding to, I think, in my first paragraph of my first post. She's tired of playing with everything in the house, and short of going out to Target to buy a new toy, I don't know how else to "entertain" her. But that's exactly the crux of my problem, I think. I don't WANT our days to be spent with me "entertaining". I want to be able to just take long stroller walks, marveling at the birds we see, or lizards that creep by or shells on the beach. I want to foster a contentment in simple things, a good work ethic, enjoyment in everyday life. I don't want to feel like I'm having to hop from one activity to the next all day long - again, with this whole idea of keeping her "entertained".
(The disclaimer to this, though, is that I think I'm painting us to be a very materialistic household with toys oozing out of every drawer, and we're not, and we don't! I promise.

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What do you think?