TV...again

[Tweakster]

So a bit of a different TV question.  Lately we have been letting Finn watch a bit of TV - frankly it's the only time he sits, and thus we get to sit - yay. 

In the morning it's become a good distraction technique for me to get out of the house and in the evening we watch a 10 min show while he has his bottle - not every night but a few times a week, rarely on weekends.  We have a good cable channel with short reasonably decent shows, even a couple I like dare I admit it.

Well all of a sudden he's coming home from daycare and pointing at the TV and remote.

We do have the TV on most of the time for music, we get cable radio.  But he's not so much interested in that lol

DH does not want to get into the habit of turning it on if he asks for it.  What say you?

[anna*]

This is a tough one. Big one in our house. My DH is a film-maker, media junkie, seriously he consumes movies, documentary, satire and (some) tv like it is going out of style - although he is pretty discerning, he still does watch a lot. So the chances of Stan having a low exposure to TV as he is growing up is basically nil. It is just a big part of who his dad is - he loves film making, camera work, colour, editing, film scores, composition - all that stuff.

I think having rules about when it goes on, or how long it goes on for etc is kind of arbitrary. If Stan says (which he does, constantly) 'I wanna watch a movie,' I don't say 'no' but instead say, 'do you want to play with me? Shall we play X? Shall we go ride your bike in the park? Do you want to help me make cookies? Let's paint! (etc)' to try to give him some attractive alternative. Something better. Usually, if it's a promise to do something WITH ME (ie not, 'go draw with your crayons by yourself'), he would pick that instead.

If he doesn't I will often let him watch a ten minute show, that will happen once or twice a day. He will often watch 20 mins in the morning, after which we either have to get going, or if it is a weekend I will say it's time to turn the TV off now we have to move our bodies. He will also often watch 20 mins in the evening, right before putting on pyjamas, when both of us are exhausted. CBeebies channel is for very little ones and has no advertising, and anything else is prescreened and ads removed, actually I think I care more about him being exposed to advertising than anything haha He loves Pingu which is this very gentle animation which just makes him laugh so hard, he falls down on the floor which is something very cute to see.

I figure it balances out. I try really hard to give him like an hour a day of totally dedicated play time with me (ie me playing with him on his terms, whatever he wants to play, however stultifyingly boring it is), and we spend at least an hour a day in the park kicking balls, running, jumping, climbing, or at the pool. As long as it's part of a more balanced day, I don't mind too much.

I dunno. Not much help, sorry. But that's where we're coming from.

[Tweakster]

He will also often watch 20 mins in the evening, right before putting on pyjamas, when both of us are exhausted.

I figure it balances out. I try really hard to give him like an hour a day of totally dedicated play time with me (ie me playing with him on his terms, whatever he wants to play, however stultifyingly boring it is), and we spend at least an hour a day in the park kicking balls, running, jumping, climbing, or at the pool.

I think this is partially my argument.  It's been said that a kid's job is play, they have a career in play basically.  So Finn goes to his 'job' (daycare) for 10 hours/day.  He's all played out.  He comes home and will poke around with his toys a bit, toddle here and there, but essentially I get the idea that he wants to kind of sack out on his bean bag chair with good ol' Chuggington.  This is recent, before that he was all over the house and pulling this out and that out, hanging off our legs, or just jumping around.  But now he's a bit more subdued in evenings.  We basically have 1.25 hrs from the time he's home until bed.  It's not long to do dinner and bedtime, and find any time to play.

I guess DH has the concern that he's asking for TV and we shouldn't respond if he's asking, but it's ok to put the TV later at our own discretion.  I'm not sure I agree.

[Colin Macs Mom]

We are definitely more lenient about TV in our house than some. I enjoy TV at the end of the day to relax and so does DH. We also do stuff and we aren't in front of it all the time. We decided years ago that we weren't going to pretend we don't watch it every day and we weren't going to forbid it - but weren't going to encourage it either. It's worked very well for us actually. Colin does watch a little in the morning if he wakes on his own and I don't have to wake him to leave, and sometimes he watches some in the evening. Often he chooses to do something else. We usually have cartoons on Saturday mornings because that's just sort of a tradition but often Colin doesn't even watch and plays with his legos or colors instead.  But sometimes he just wants to sit and watch and as spirited as he is, I'm not going to object if that's how he's feeling, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[teilvnav]

Nathan never watched a lot of tv, maybe 10-20 min a day (and not every day). About a month ago, though, he made up his own sign for tv and started saying "TD?" with a huge hopeful question mark at the end. So now he gets a bit more. It is partly because he asks and I want him to feel like I listen to him, and it is partly because it is starting to get him to sit still for a few minutes when I need him to. Our home is open concept except for the private areas, so when I am cooking or doing dishes I can still talk to him about what he is watching. We have conversations and laugh together rather that him just vegging out. DH is a total media head (right now he is surfing the net on his laptop and watching a dvd at the same time), so it is not realiztic that the tv never be on around Nathan. I try to balance it with lots of play, snuggle time with books when he needs down time, etc. I don't think that tv is a big deal as long as it is in moderation, like ice cream. (And age appropriate, of course.)

[Mum-of-Two]

I would stick to routine.  Once you turn it on when he asks, he shall expect it.  If its not something that you are really OK with all the time, like if he asks for water you will always give it to him, then I'd keep something like this on a routine.

By the way, I say this from experience.  When I am home with the kids and the TV is on its always programming for them.  When DH is home, you should see the fit they have when they have to watch his sport shows instead of their shows.  Accidentally they literally think they own the programming on TV.

[Peek-a-boo]

I would stick to routine.

Yes, we do this.  We have a window of time in the day in which they may watch one (only one) DVD.  If they ask outside that window, I say no, it's not TV time it's toy time.  If they ask inside that window of time, then I say yes and let them pick something.  Basically between the end of DD's afternoon nap an dinner time is the window. 

Some days they don't ask.  I don't think it's wrong to honor his asking; I just think it's a good idea to have some parameters to it doesn't turn into a monster. 

[Nauvoo]

I posted about this a month or so ago and I go great advice which so far is working beautifully.  I was advised to set up a routine which has been mentioned.  So basically there are certain times of the day DD can watch her beloved "Signing Time" which is when she gets up in the morning while I'm getting breakfast ready and again in the evening when I'm getting dinner ready.  So when she asks to watch TV at other times I can say "not now but you can when it's time to get dinner ready".  So far this is working great and she still asks for TV during the day but I can tell her to wait and she understands and will not throw a fit about not being able to watch TV like she did before we established rules.

[<Catherine>]

Ollie has recently taken an interest in the tv too, wouldnt pay much attention to it a few weeks ago, I basically agree with exactly what Amy said (and it is nice to be able to leave the room for a couple of minutes and know that when I come back he's still sat in the same position ). And like you say Wendy, it's the only time he's 'sat' for any length of time!

[clazzat]

We have 3 'windows' during the day when the tv can go on for their programmes: after breakfast, after lunchtime nap and after bath.  If they ask during that time, they will generally get to watch a couple of things - I often need a bit of time to clear up after breakfast so it is good to have them occupied; after nap they are both really zonked, so they need a bit of time to ease back into the day and after bath it is their winddown time before bed (which I know doesn't work for everyone, but it does for us).

If they ask at other times then the answer is generally no (sometimes on a weekend we will all watch something if it is really wet or everyone is really tired), and we find something else to do.  I don't ever leave them to watch a particular channel, though - we record the programmes they like, and they get to watch one programme at a time so I'm always aware how long they have been watching, iyswim.  I also don't let them watch programmes with adverts.

I think these days it's fairly unrealistic to think that children aren't going to want to watch at least some tv, and I don't personally think it is too harmful as long as it is part of a balanced day.  One thing that I am very aware of is that it is part of their social culture as well since other children talk about the characters they know - I wasn't allowed to watch daytime tv when I was growing up and I have a huge gap in my cultural reference points which I am very aware of.  For the UK mums - I never saw Bagpuss, or The Clangers, or Mr Benn, or Button Moon, or Fingerbobs etc etc.