thanks for your responses elo and jenny.
i just want to cry
i have bloody reacted to something
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i added back wheat/gluten, nuts, egg, and some hidden dairy and 3 days later bloated, cramps. i was in denial for another day and still ate it and then broke out in a rash. WTF!
so i am now back on the old boring diet for at least a week and will have to introduce one at a time and slowly.
i am ok about not bfing but diet stuff kind of helped me get over the grieving of stopping bf IYKWIM but now not only am i not bf, i cant eat anything exciting anyway.
jenny, reasons for stopping bf - originally i planned to make it to 6mths (mainly cos i never had a good bf relationship with ds1 so didnt even think i would make it to 6mths TBH). so making it to 8mths was pretty huge for me anyway, i kept stalling and held onto two feeds for the last month before finally deciding i was ready to stop. a big decider early on was he never used to vomit after neocate but always did a lot after bf, it did ease a little after some more dietary changes (cut lots of high salicylates and only ate occasionally). also when he started on solids and i was making three different lunches, i just thought it was crazy and decided i would start weaning the next week. i also wanted him on neocate so i could really baseline him for introducing the salicylates introductions and know exactly what he was having rather than guessing how much he was getting from me. and the final straw that made me decide to stop altogether (i was toying with the idea of keeping the bedtime feed for a bit longer) was when i made two big mistakes in the last month with my diet accidentally - once had the wrong mayonaisse that had milk solids in it and he reacted, second time i accidentally ate butter rather than my dairy free one, he didnt react but i just couldnt handle the guilt of possible making him sick anymore. i definitely noticed an improvement in how settled he was once i had increased to three bottles a day of neocate.
the actual diet stuff for me, although nice to be able to eat what i want (or so i thought
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) didnt really worry me as i'd gotten so used to it. i thought i would be a little out of control doing the groceries but i think i've found so many substitutes now that i wasnt craving so much. was nice eating real bread tho, and egg soldiers, yummy!