2 year old still eating stage 2 baby food

[lenora1432]

my son just turned 2, and he still won't eat real food..he just refuses to try anything new. 
his daily routine consists of rice and banana baby cereal and a cup of milk, stage 2 vegetable chicken noodle casserole for lunch, a bottle of milk before his nap, cheerios or crackers and a cup of milk for a snack, stage 2 vegetable beef spaghetti for supper, and sometimes a cookie and a glass of milk for a bedtime snack, and a bottle of formula before bed..and it's the same thing every day!
and it's usually a fight to get him to eat..on a bad day it takes one person to hold him down and another to force feed him..
i'm at my wits end!  we try to give him something new (like stage 3 food) and he gags on it until he throws up, or he'll go on a hunger strike for a couple of days and eat nothing but crackers..and when we try to feed him what we're eating he'll back away or slap the food out of your hand...we've even tried giving him things like chocolate pudding and ice cream, and you'd swear we were trying to give him poison!
any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!  i really don't know what to do with him anymore!

[~Sara~]

I'm sure other will come along with more advice, more so with the behavioral issues; but if it's a texture thing, have you tried getting him used to the Stage 3 foods by mushing it up to the consistency of the Stage 2s, and then gradually leaving the pieces more and more intact?  DS had a really sensitive gag reflex, and that is the ONLY way we got him over that.  He was younger than your DS, but I think it's best to work gradually towards a goal and not suddenly make a huge jump.

Also, another thing that I've tried to keep in mind is to not force feed.  LO isn't really learning anything from that, and it just creates a frustrating power struggle.  He might even start to associate eating non-baby food with the emotions that occurred once or twice.  When DS starts throwing a tantrum and throwing his food on the floor (bc he doesn't want to eat THAT food), I take the food away from him, explain that he doesn't do X, and ask what else he wants (he's good at pointing).

Another idea...is your DS using any utensils?  They might be fun for him to play with while you feed him, but they might also get him interested in using them to put food in his mouth, which could then be a natural transition to more grown up food.  Sometimes, I notice my DS will eat better if he tries to do it himself...even if nothing gets in his mouth

I feel for you, I really do.  I hope that helps even just a bit...as I said, I'm sure other moms have been there and done that, too.  *hugs*

[We Three]

(((hugs)))  This all sounds really hard.  One thing I'm wondering about is maybe some sensory issues? Or as pp said, a sensitive gag reflex?  My nephew was much like you describe, and was diagnosed with oral sensory issues. An evaluation could be as easy as asking your ped.  In NY, the therapists come right to your home...it is called the Early Intervention Program and it is great.  They will watch him eat, drink, they will play with him, observe how he swallows, sucks, chews, etc.  They can tell alot about what may be going on.

 I too would implore you not to force-feed.  Truly, it is counter-productive, could cause further negative associations with food/eating, and may erode trust.  I know, I know it's hard, but I PROMISE he won't starve himself.  Cont inue to offer him what you KNOW he will eat, (the baby food) along with one thing you think he *might* eat. Look at the textures of the things he will eat and try to mimic them.  If he will eat Cheerios, throw in a few Kix.  A few.  Kids will need to see something a few times.  You eat one so he knows it is crunchy. Just pop one in your mouth, crunch it, say yum, and toss a few into his dish with his cheerios and leave him to it.  He may not touch them at first, but keep at it.

  With the spaghetti at night...try this:  Take 1/3 of the jar of food, spoon it into a strainer and rinse it. This will wash away the puree portion, but the solids will be left behind. Put those solids back into the jar and stir it up. What you have done is change the texture slightly, but the flavor and color and taste is the same. See what he does.  OR, take a stage 3 version of the same food, put a spoonful into the stage 2 and try that.

  I think getting him an evaluation is key.  Nothing will work if he does have oral motor issues or sensory issues.  Do ask your doc about this.  And in the meantime, keep offering...that really is all you can do for now. Please don't force it, I know it is so hard, but the ramifications of force-feeding can be worse than him not eating...kwim?

[anna*]

I do second pps advice - don't force feed him. He won't starve himself and there is nothing to be gained from it except strengthening his aversion to eating. He won't let himself starve.

Havey ou spoken to your dr? What does he/she say about it?

If there is nothing physical going on (oral/motor delay for example), or sensory issues, then I think the first thing you need to do is cut down on the amount of milk he is having. A small cup of milk at breakfast and a small cup at bedtime will be plenty. No formula. If he is filling up on milk, he's not going to be hungry to eat.

For introducing new things, try letting him play with foods, even not sitting at the table. Let him experiment with the way things feel and smell. If he will touch a new food, give praise for that, or if he will lick it. My LO couldn't handle stage 3 foods at all, but he managed OK with table foods. Can he join you and your partner at table for meals? Don't look at how much he isn't eating, just have a nice meal and a nice chat, so that he starts to build pleasant associations with mealtimes, no stress.

If he's on 'hunger strike', don't give him crackers! Give him his meals, if he doesn't eat just clear up. No problem. Honestly, the more you can relax about this, the more he will be able to relax. Perhaps you could just give him his meal and then leave the room, so that you're not tempted to try and give him bits?

(((((hugs))))) I know how stressful this is, I really hope something here is helpful.

[We Three]

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention...my dd DESPISED and choked on stage 3 foods.....when I asked my SIL about it. she said that her kids hated stage 3 too.  Alot of kids do. It is kinda gross if you think about it.     Anyway, my dd went from stage 2 to table food, bit by bit. 

[lenora1432]

thanks everyone for your suggestions!  i have mentioned it to my doctor several times, and she just said that kids are picky and he'll eat when he's ready to eat..it's just so frustrating!  i'll just have to try some new things and hope for the best!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

I think PPs have given great advice and I just wanted to second it - esp the part about the utensils.  Have you tried that yet?  Austin played with them for ages before he actually used them but now he'll eat things that he wouldn't touch once he can pick them up and put them in his mouth all by himself with his fork!  Could be worth a try, anyhow.

Hugs.

[~Sara~]

Just keep trying!  When I was trying to get DS on to food with more texture, one of the best pieces of advice I got was to focus on one meal a day, at whichever time seems to be his "good time," i.e. when he's happiest and most receptive to new things.  When you focus on the one meal, you know that you have to muster up the energy and creativity for X amount of time, and you don't feel like it's an all-day struggle, so to speak.  Plus, as he gets more familiar with new things, that might all of a sudden make him want to try for every meal.  You just never know

Give the utensils a shot, too!

Keep us posted

[~*Nicole*~]

Just wanted to throw out there that I just heard a mom who was concerned about this with her 1 son. Before age one, she asked, they said don't worry...at one she asked, the ped. said don't worry, at 18 months she asked again and the ped. agreed to have him evaluated and it was determined the muscles in his mouth weren't strong enough to chew larger food pieces. She went through a food clinic with him at a childrens hospital and they worked on getting the kids to take new foods, etc. Some kids DO need help in this area. I would personally seek a second opinion and see about having him evaluated by a speech or OT person who is familiar with food aversion, the oral muscles and motor planning involved and sensory issues.

Best of luck!

[~Sara~]

Some kids DO need help in this area. I would personally seek a second opinion and see about having him evaluated by a speech or OT person who is familiar with food aversion, the oral muscles and motor planning involved and sensory issues.

Good point!  If you're in the US, most states have early childhood intervention programs that come to your home and assess LO for free or little cost (we had DS evaluated for speech and development).  The Texas program will have workers come to wherever your child is and do the therapy there.  If there's not something like that in your area, a OT or SP (or even a food therapist--my cousin has one for both her boys who have sensory processing issues) should be able to help.

Keep your chin up