Request for suggestions for helping dh with dd

[dejones]

Hi,

DH is an amazing man but is having a hard time interacting with dd. She is 10 weeks old and cries almost every time he picks her up. She is pretty close to being an Angel or possibly Textbook baby, but, she does this with other people too sometimes and is fussy with me sometimes too but it seems to be more often with dh. He's starting to take it personally and I hate to see his feelings hurt and would love some suggestions or examples of how other dh's have overcome this kind of thing. Our ds is 2 and he was fussy (spirited to the extreme!) for both of us. This happy with me but not with dh is a new scenario for us.

Thanks!

[muddyfeet]

ooh...that's a hard one. My dd was giving my dh a lot of trouble with bath and bed, but she was 12 months when that started, and it was because he was still doing everything for her, and she wanted to do things herself. So it's a whole different thing than what you have going.

 I don't have any experience with your issue, but I do want to say that if DH could just remind himself that she's not targeting him, she doesn't mean anything by it. And maybe it would help him if he got a little extra affection from you instead, since he's feeling bad about dd.

Good luck, I hope some more people see this and can give you some help.

[dejones]

Thanks! Yes, it really is tricky. And because ds is still having sleep issues dh is "on" every night with him while I'm "on" with dd due to nursing duty. I know in the long run it'll all be fine but if others have some stories or suggestions that might help it'd be great. Well, dd has finished nursing so I should get back to sleep while I can. Thanks again.

[deb]

Diaper changes and bathtimes were the best way for my DH to help get involved with my DD's when they were so small. Make sure that he's talking around her, whether to her or with you, so she can get used to his voice. If she's Touchy, she may need to not be surprised by him for a while, just make sure that when he's interacting with her it's gentle for a while so she can build up positive associations with him. My DH would sometimes do a surprise peek-a-boo thing with DD1, who's super-Touchy, and it took a while to convince him that she was too young to get used to that.

[dejones]

Excellent suggestions. Thank you.