23 months - sleep refusal at night

[babybarr]

I feel like you have 3 options...
the first is to try an even earlier bedtime, due to bad nights she is low on sleep - this is the one I'd start with.
second - cut the nap even more
third - try a later bedtime

I guess the other option is that you do wiwo - if she is not crying you leave her to settle herself, it may be worth starting this at nap time.

What is your gut reaction?  Do you think she is OT or do you feel like she's "playing" you?

[NadeneR]

I agree that it would be a good idea to try an even earlier bedtime. She went down at around 9 last night and was up at 7 this morning, so not only is she fighting sleep at night, she's even waking earlier and earlier every day now. Based on that, my gut tells me that she's OT. When you say an even earlier bedtime, what did you have in mind for the length of her post-nap A time?

[NadeneR]

I decided yesterday that I am going to shorten the amount of time I spend in the room with her to get her to sleep. It can take up to 2 hrs some nights. So I decided that 30 minutes is enough. I left her room at 8:30 last night, but have no idea what time she fell asleep. She woke much earlier than usual today, around 6:30, whereas normally she's a fairly late sleeper, often going past 8, but has been gettin earlier and earlier. I went to get into the bed with her in her room and we both fell asleep till 8:10 (felt good to sleep in a bit ) So here's what her day looked like:

1:10 nap (1.5 hrs)

2:40 awake

6:40 took her to the room, she fell FAST asleep by 7:10, woke when I transferred to cot (which she never does), fell asleep again and then started screaming hysterically when I left the room. I went in and out several times, until I lost my cool and rowed her . She quietened down immediately, I gave her a hug and kiss, left the room and she's been quiet ever since. I hate being "monster mommy", but I feel like I'm being sucked dry! For the past month, the average time that I get out of her room is 9:30 - 10 and then I'm totally exhausted, physically and emotionally.

Sorry, I'm just whining a bit, but I'm soooo frustrated by this, not one single day working out the same, no predictability and no time for me!

[babybarr]

6:40 took her to the room, she fell FAST asleep by 7:10

this is good progress!

Don't worry about being "monster mummy" sometimes we kinda have too, and it looked like she at least took note, you didn't leave her upset and went back and reassured her.

I think take today as a partial success, I would stick with the earlier bed for a while - today's times worked so try that again.  I think once she is a bit more caught up we can try and get the falling asleep on her own again sorted.

[NadeneR]

Hi babybarr

Thank you so much for you kind and encouraging words!!! You are so right about yesterday being good progress. I think what frustrated me is that she falls asleep, but doesn't stay asleep, but the day actually was much easier.

I don't know what time she fell asleep after I rowed her and left the room. She woke at 7 this morning, so 11.5 hours from the time I left her room, which is definitely better than the 9-10 hours we've had lately. She is just very whiny and clingy today, so not sure if she is tired or just emotionally needy. 

I did 5 hrs A pre-nap to try and prevent OT and only a 1.5 hour nap, followed by 4.5 hrs A till asleep. I think I'm going to try this again today, the only difference will be that she woke an hour earlier than yesterday, so that will end up in a REALLY early bedtime. This is what I'm going to aim for;

12: nap (1.5 or maybe 2 hrs better to help catch up a bit)

1:30/2: awake

5:30/6: take her to her room to be asleep between 6/6:30.

This will be the earliest bedtime we've ever had, I just pray it works and that we don't have an earlier than 7 waking tomorrow morning, resulting in an even earlier bedtime tomorrow night. The upside is that tonight I'll have some time to cuddle a bit with DS who has been seriously missing out on mommy at night lately.

I'll keep you posted and let you know how things go tonight. I'm hopeful that, if we are dealing with OT, a few days like this will straighten things out!

Thanks again for your help and encouragement!!!!

[NadeneR]

WoooHooo!!!

Today was pretty GOOD!!! (doing a little victory dance and hoping I can do it tomorrow again)!!!!

She woke at 7 this morning and my plan was to have her asleep by 12, but we attended a kiddies party and I only got her to the room at 12:15.

12:25 - asleep (so A of 5h25)

2:10 - awake, but mommy was also napping and not ready to get up yet, so I crawled into her bed with her and we both slept till 3:25, so her nap was 3 hrs, and she would have slept longer if I didn't wake her. Thought I'd have a hard time tonight, but took her to the room at 7:35.

8:05 - asleep, transferred to cot, stayed asleep, woke and gave a very shorty cry when and left, I waited outside her door and .... silence. BLISS!!!

I think the fact that she took a 3 hr nap (clearly she needed it) and still went down so easily tonight is a sign that she has been OT. So I'm going to stick with this routine for a few days, hopefully she'll catch up enough to get back into a predictable pattern without fighting her night sleep.

Launen and Nicole, thanks again for all the help and encouragment. I'm now off to have some ME time!!!      

[babybarr]

Yay! Great news!  You probably found she was so much more tired today due to catching up, I would be careful how long you let her nap for tomorrow - esp. if she has a good night.

Keep us posted!

Laura xx

[NadeneR]

Well, I had time to do a manicure and pedicure last night !!! She slept from 8:05 till 6:50 this morning, so 10:45 min. Do you think that's ok?

We have church this morning, brunch with friends and tea with our pastor and his family @ 3, so not going to be able to give her a long nap. In fact, since she woke so early, her morning A will probably be about 6 hrs !!! Not great, but I'll try somehow to get her to recover.

Hold thumbs please!!!

[babybarr]

I think after a 3hr nap that night sleep is great!  That's why I said watch the nap, otherwise it *may* eat into her night sleep.  Hope you have had a nice day.