Lost/Broken EASY Routine

[karebearry]

Hi girls,
I'm writing to you all in desperation.  My DS is 5 months corrected/ 6.5 gestational.  He's always been a very happy baby who rarely fusses or cries.  since last week or so however that has all changed and he cries (he just learned how to scream!!!) whenever he awake and fusses at almost everything!

he woke up last night 3 times and 3 times I tired to settle him with pu/pd and shhh pat.  after an hour and some I gave up and offered my breast.  He didn't want that either.  I think he finds my let down too slow and again gets frustrated!  I had to pump for a few mins to get it going then offered him again and he ate well and then slept.

I used to be able to put him down for his naps with ease.  Now, when i lay him down he cries.
He used to be good on a 3 hr EASY.  around a month ago I started to transition him to a 4hr EASY by following the BK.  We had one succesful day where he was up for 2 slept for 2. 

i think we lost him around the day 12-15 from the book.  however, now that he's learned to screech it's gotten from bad to worse to terrible!

he was exclusively BF until a few days ago where we introduced cereal on the doctors orders.  he was fussy before we did the cereal so i don't think it's that.  he loves to eat and sometimes i feel like i can't give him enough!!
also, sometimes he's in bed now sleeping but just sucking his fingers.  so how can i get him to sleep???

i always try to do a good wind down before bed.

I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do anymore.  Why has he become soo cranky and fussy?

below are his EASY routine for the last two days: (every day has been so messed up and different that there are no two days alike)

woke at 640am
E- 7:20am
A- low key stayed in bed and snuggled and read a book
s- 830am/ can't settle, re-swaddled him twice.  I shh pat him at 915am and he slept til 1030am (only 1 hr ) so i pu/pd til 11am (next feed)
E-11am
A- low key, cereal
S- 11:50am to 215pm
E-3pm
A-played a bit
S-330 couldn't settle til 410pm when i settled him.  slept from 420 to 540pm
A- trick or treat just 5 houses!
E-635pm
S-645pm asleep by 7pm

***at night, woke up at 1030pm, fed him,  woke again at 130am, wouldn't take breast, gave a bottle** then woke at 7am


Woke at 7am, left in crib playing until 725am
E-didn't want breast, fussy, had to pump 1st, fed at 8am
A- low key playing
S-835am settled alone by 855 - slept til 1050am
E-1140am, wouldn't take breast earlier
A-played
S- 1235 asleep by 1250 up at 120pm, didn't cry just played with his hand for 1.5 hr.  didn't go in as he wasn't crying. 
E-3pm
A- played
S-320 asleep by 335, slept til 6pm  (he was exhausted!)
A- dad was home!
E- ate cereal and breast
A- bath
S- 710pm, asleep by 720pm.

*** woke at 915pm, tried for over an hour to pu/pd and settle, then tried breast, was too fussy, gave a bottle, fell asleep.  up again at 230 - same thing.  woke up at 630 screaming!  fussy at breast again, had to to pump 1st, cereal and back to bed.

i just wish we had our little routine back and wished i knew what he was screaming for!!
**ps: he never slept through the night anyway, he used to wake once or twice for feedings and would go right back to sleep right after.... now we can't even accomplish that!

We're looking for any advice or suggestions!  Please help!!

Thanks!

[Chicane]

Hi love

sending you hugs

We had problems at this age too...there is a lot of developmental stuff going on around now...do you think teeth are coming in? It could account for the fussy eating. Why did the doctor order cereal? Is there issues with weight gain?

The average A time for this age is 2 hr to 2.5 hours...have you thought he might need a slight increase in A time? Check out some of the samples here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0

I've asked some other gals to come and have a look at your post...deep breath love, its going to be okay xo

[karebearry]

hi and thank you for the hugs!  they really do make a difference, even the web versions! LOL

Thank you for taking the time to help me.  I'm going to look at the link you sent over.  for some reasons, I thought, his A time was to be around 1.5 of play time with 20 mins or so, wind down = totalling 2 hrs.  so maybe he does need a bit more time awake, I was always worried about being OT, because I've had that before and it can be hellish!!

you're right on the developmental end, he's learned to sit and loves getting into everything - my curious monkey! 
the doctor suggested cereal because she thought he was ready.  He's a good weight 17.6 lbs.

My sister suggested maybe teething as well, but I can't see anything??  my sister suggested giving him some tylenol to see if it helped. but i really didn't want to give him medicine if it wasn't necessary. 

I think I need to relax - maybe I'm over analyzing! LOL

Well, today he slept great for 2 hours this morning, but only an hour nap on the second nap, I tried pu/pd but failed miserably after an hour.  He's asleep again now, so we'll see how he makes out.

thanks again!

[Tay]

Hiya karebearry,

Was just reading through your thread and thought you might find this link useful:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/letdown.html
It sounds like you might have a slow letdown which is getting your LO a bit frustrated. have you tried http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=88759.0 ?
xx

[karebearry]

thanks Tay!  yeah, i've tried breast compressions.  I think the link is right.  I tense up because he's screaming! maybe i'll try their suggestions on creating a conditioned response.  can't hurt any!

[Tay]

let me know how you get on.
Xxx

[karebearry]

Oh boy! last night was uneventful.  He woke at 1030pm, 230am, 430am.  At 230am, when i tried to pump first to get the milk going, after 4 minutes nothing happened.  I was real tense and totally messed that up.  I resorted to giving him a bottle of formula which he had never had before but I was out of my milk!  I felt terrible!!  I came back downstairs after and pumped 110ml!!!!  i couldn't believe it!  then I felt even worse for giving him formula.  I really need to relax and be loose but it's hard when he's screaming!  I will be pumping all day and the next few days to try and create a stockpile for any future issues like this.

After reading the link Chicane suggested, I decided today I'm going to try and push him to 2.15hrs.  So this morning we woke at 7am and I didn't put him down until 9am, by the time he dozed off it was about 915am.  I used to put him down by 840am for him to be out by 9am.  So we'll see if this helps!  he'll be a bit tired today of course because we had a bad night.  But we'll try.

keep fingers crossed!

[karebearry]

oh yeah, I forgot to mention earlier.  I think I might be going in too soon to his room when he wakes.  I'm a bit fuzzy on his mantra cry.  He'll wake and make like a cry but like a tearless cry.  it does escalate in sound though, and that's why I thought I should go in.  But then when I do go in, it triples in sounds and intensity.  Am I going in too soon?  I don't want him to cry it out.

If left alone, it will eventually turn into a full blown cry and then he's too rawled up to go back to sleep. 

It's 945am and he just woke up.  I think he was OT when I put him down at 9am.   he didn't make it!...  sniff...sniff...

[Chicane]

hey love only got a min...go slow with the A time increase so he eases into it and has time to adjust to changes over a few day...it can take time for the changes to take effect. Also, if it goes a bit wrong you can remedy with an early bed time

Dont worry about the formula...so many babies are brought up on formula alone and are happy well adjusted healthy people. You did the best thing for both of you under the circumstances...and you know what...its okay! You're okay he's okay...if you need some extra support about breast feeding and building supply post up on the breast feeding boards...

and just to throw another thing you way (like you dont have enough on your plate already) if you've started cereals and he likes it maybe you could start with offering some puree once a day and see if that helps a bit too...

And one last thing, it is stressful. Being a new mum (or even an old mum) is the most stressfull job in the world. IN THE WORLD. you are allowed to feel stressed, you are allowed to feel overwhelmed, you are allowed to have moments of panic and frustration. You would not be human if you didn't. But, remember, this will pass, your LO will settle down and things will move on. You are doing an ACE job, giving all your love and care to your baby csssssssssssssssssssssz              
dc HHHLLHBBBBBBBBBBBmv lkikkóxxxkkkkkkkkkkkkk
mkm,

(those last lines were written by my son...what a genius...I think it translates as you are a great mum, keep it up xoxo)

keep us posted

[karebearry]

Thanks a million Chicane and son!!  if anything, hearing some reassuring words helps huge and actually made me feel a whole lot better! 
thank you! 

it is a bit overwhelming at times and you're right, formula isn't bad!  of course it isn't, how could all these babies eat it otherwise! LOL.  I guess I panicked last night in the heat of the moment, I was tired and felt bad for the little man.

I have just put him down to bed again, so hopefully he naps ok this time.  poor thing is so tired!

oh yeah, I have yet another silly question.  When I was reviewing the link you sent earlier (very helpful by the way).  I think I get confused on the nap part.  When people say their baby napped for 2hrs from 12-2pm, does that mean that they put them to bed at 1145am??  because in the notes it dictates their A time as being 2 hrs as well.  I'm just a bit fuzzy on that part and wanted to make sure I wasn't over extending him. 

Thanks again! and say hi to your LO - he was most helpful! :0

[Chicane]

Hi ya

There are no silly questions here on the BW boards.

Tracy suggests a wind down ritual lasting around 20 min mark. That means if you want your LO asleep by 9am you need to start the wind down at 8.40am...now, take it all with a grain of salt. It took me a while to realise that my son did not like or need a 20 min wind down. In fact we shortened it to 10 mins and now several months later its about 5 mins...he just didn't need it, didn't want it. So you can and must adjust the BW techniques to suit your LO at each stage in their life. The best way to know if you are over extending A times is to look at his cues, his mood and how his naps are...its not a science, there is no sure fire formula, a lot of it is trial and error. The main thing about BW in my opinion, is teaching independent sleep, treating your baby with respect and learning their signs. The routine is more about the order of the day Eat Activity Sleep...dont get too hung up on exact times all the time (although there are some situations where adhering to the clock is advised)

And, if your LO is OT (over tired) then don't be afraid of doing a super early BT (bed time) It has always worked for us.

Also, I have found Tracy's book Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems to be a god-send...get it if you can.

Here are some more links, if you get a chance to look through the FAQs you will find heaps of good info

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=120362.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=128419.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64160.0

xoxo

PS It took me ages to work out my son's mantra cry...so don't beat yourself up over it...oh and guess what...it changed over time too!

[Tay]

Hey there,
 Completely agree with chicane that giving your LO formula will do him no harm. And even more, if it helps you (and him) get less stressed, could have only been a good thing at that moment.
In terms of trying to relax... How are you about feeding your LO lying down? (cuddle up, skin-to-skin, maybe will give you two a bit of a 'moment' and help you get things back on track). Another suggestion someone gave me once (when DD was just born and I was really stressing about everything) was to feed in front of the TV. I thought it was absurd, cause I wanted to concentrate on the task, but the point was exactly to not concentrate too much, and hope that by doing that you'll relax a bit. What do you think?
xxx

[karebearry]

thanks girls!  I'm glad you both take the time to offer your wisdom!  so far you've both made me feel much less stressed and gave me lots to work with!!  I love it!  Thank  you!

the links you sent were great! - tks Chicane.   Yes, I purchased that book and it is awesome!  it worked great for me and put things into perspective for me.  Simple things I had never thought of!

I think I do tend to get wrapped up the times a bit too much, I forget the main purpose of using the EASY routine - in that I should be following my LO's cues.

I definitely focus too much when he's feeding, perhaps TV's not a bad idea!  keep my mind of it!  Plus I like TV!  :0

I think I'm going to work on relaxing the next few days and not getting so wrapped up in everything,  just try and go with the flow. 

With that said I'll still keep you posted!

ps:  he's finally asleep. his second nap lasted only 20 mins and was close to his feeding so I took him out of the room, fed him, read him a book and back to bed.  he's been asleep now for an 1.5hr.  yay!!!

[Chicane]

I think I'm going to work on relaxing the next few days and not getting so wrapped up in everything,  just try and go with the flow.

Excellent! I think that is a great thing to focus on right now

xoxo

[Chicane]

oh yeah...also...another mod recently reminded me of the 6 month growth spurt...he could be going through that and needing a bit more food....best way around it is to feed more frequently (will help with your supply too) and try cluster feeding in the late afternoon...there is some info in the Solves Your Prob book xoxo