To give in or not to give in?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

We're not sure how to handle this one around here.  Austin used to eat anything and everything in front of him but we've moved squarely into toddlerhood and that's no longer the case.  We'll make something for him and it just ends up in the dog's belly.  We try not to get too worried about it in general since I don't want mealtimes to be a battle. 

The thing is, sometimes he just won't eat anything.  But if we make him a tofu hot dog or give him some chunks of cheese he'll scarf them down.  I'm generally of the mindset that kids won't starve themselves, they'll eventually eat if they're hungry, I'm not making 3 meals, etc.  But sometimes it really seems like he hardly eats all day!  So we end up making one of his faves.

Do we just keep going on like this, exposing him to new stuff to just have him toss it and then we make him something he likes?  Or stop making the backup meal so often and he'll eat if he's really hungry?

Thanks.

[anna*]

Id stop making the back up meal. Some days Stan would basically eat nothing but breakfast and a few grapes, but after about 9 mos we never got NWs from hunger (which was what i was mostly worried about).

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

but after about 9 mos we never got NWs from hunger (which was what i was mostly worried about).

Yes I absolutely worry about this!  And DH is just worried about him getting enough calories.

So you think I just cook and if he eats, great, if not then that's that?  That's what I would do with a 3 or 4 yo for sure, so I guess I should just start now.....

[~inbalance~]

I agree.  We used to worry that if T didn't eat much that day he would wake from hunger, but that was never the case.  So nope, we don't make backup meals here either.  Sometimes DH will try to sneak something else small in him even though I tell him over and over again to leave it be.     But if he decides that what we have for dinner is not for him, then so be it! 

[teilvnav]

I also worry about DS getting enough nutrition now that he has started being more picky about food. It is funny... now he will pick up a piece of food and stare at it, give it a lick, and either eat ot or toss it down with disgust! I worry that it will affect his health, but he is actually off the charts for height and at a very healthy weight for his age.

Try not to worry. I know it is easier said than done; trust me. But try not to worry! I think that it is good for him not to feel like your house is a restaurant. And you can always offer a healthy alternative, like fruit/veg (or a tofu hot dog, or cheese! These sound good to me!).

[Mom to M&M]

I agree with PPs and sort of do a compromise position. Instead of a separate meal at dinner time DS can either eat what we are having or having something like yogurt or bread/butter. Or if we are having something I "know" DS won't eat or try I make a toned-down version for him - like tonight I was guessing he wouldn't love the garlic/anchovy/cauliflower pasta so I kept some plain pasta on the side for him and after he'd tried the one we were all eating I let him have the plain on with a pureed veggie sauce. In general I try to always make sure there is something on his tray I know he likes - even if it's a side dish (pasta, sweet potatoes, etc).

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

It is funny... now he will pick up a piece of food and stare at it, give it a lick, and either eat ot or toss it down with disgust!

Yes!  The licking is a new thing around here!

In general I try to always make sure there is something on his tray I know he likes - even if it's a side dish (pasta, sweet potatoes, etc).

I think that's a good way to go about it.

Thanks, ladies.  I'll try some more fruit or the like on his tray along with his dinner and if the dog eats it all - so be it!  He was doing fine on the growth curve at his last visit, skinny but fine, so I'll just try to roll with it.

[~*Nicole*~]

I do have a child who will occasionally wake from hunger if she's eaten next to nothing for dinner. That said, I don't make anything "special". I'll offer an additional cup of milk and maybe bread or a PB&J sandwich....but certainly NOT a fave. If she never woke up hungry, I'd probably just leave her be though and just dismiss it as an off eating day. I don't want to teach her that refusing food will get her any preference items or a mommy jumping through hoops. Although, finding something quick, simple and not rewarding during a NW is no fun either! But I do believe that MOST kids don't wake up due to hunger.

[Mom to M&M]

The reason I don't mind letting either kid fill up on bread/butter or a side dish or something like yogurt is cause it's not like dinner is almost ever something they requested or would pick first choice (unless it's a pizza night or something LOL). Usually I think of a few things I would want for dinner, let DH pick from those choices and go with that. So I can't really blame DD if she's not in the mood for whatever I made that night, even if it's something she's eaten before and liked well enough. So while I don't want to reward them for being picky, I also don't think it's fair to force them to eat one choice only or go to bed hungry... It's a hard balance/happy medium to find! DD is now a REALLY good eater though and hopefully DS can become even close to as good...

[~inbalance~]

We do usually keep a plate of something aside, like veggie sticks or salad, for after dinner.  It's actually part of dinner, but we don't let T see it and then pull it out after we've finished the main course.  He'll usually have a bit of that.  And lately we've been offering a small healthy snack before bed, but it's separate from dinner so he's not associating it as a replacement for dinner, kwim?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

And lately we've been offering a small healthy snack before bed, but it's separate from dinner so he's not associating it as a replacement for dinner, kwim?

That might be a good idea for my back pocket if he really doesn't eat anything at all.  He's also basically stopped drinking his pre-bed milk this week, so no calories at all after dinner. (Which of course is often hardly anything at all!)

[Mom to M&M]

Would he drink special big boy milk - like milk mixed with a tsp or two of Ovaltine? Tastes yummy and has vitamins too. Cereal before bed? Yogurt?

[~ Vik ~]

And lately we've been offering a small healthy snack before bed, but it's separate from dinner so he's not associating it as a replacement for dinner, kwim?

We do the same thing, and daycare does too!  Lunch is what it is (there's 4 different rooms, and 10 children/room so they're certainly not cooking to order!) and other than modifications/replacements due to Dylan's allergies he can choose to eat it or not.  But they do an afternoon snack at 230, and often if he didn't have much lunch he will have a huge snack.  I do the same with supper - I make what I make, and he can choose to eat it or not (but, as pps have said, I make sure that there is *something* that he likes and will eat), but I always offer a healthy bedtime snack around 7pm (milk and fruit, muffin, crackers, etc.) to make sure that he's had that last opportunity to eat if he wants to

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hmm.  Seems like this pre-bed snack thing is something big I never thought of!   Although oftentimes we're eating dinner pretty much up until winddown time.    Hmm.   But I  guess when we don't I can try some yogurt or cereal or ovaltine.

[~inbalance~]

The pre-bed snack is fairly new for us.  And we often would eat dinner late too, so I actually started it more as a bedtime ritual rather than getting more food into him.  I think it's more of a toddler thing rather than a baby thing.  But I do like knowing he's getting something small and healthy in him before bed, especially since he doesn't have bedtime 'milk' much anymore.  He does have a small cup of milk too, but he usually just has a few sips.  So we've been offering yogurt as a bedtime snack.