HELP!! Picky eater and when to use time out

[suzannemoore]

Hi there.  My son just turned three and I have lived on these boards for picky eaters.  He started having problems with textures and it just spun out of control and now he will only eat waffles, hot dogs, french fries ( I have stopped offering them) bananas, chicken nuggets (sometimes) and fish sticks.  I really mean this is all he will eat.  We have tried OT, and they say nothing wrong with reflexes and we tried a behavior therapist.  She said he was just stubborn.  How do I get him to try new things??  I have been offering him two things and I tell him that he has to choose one.  If he refuses to eat what is on his plate I put him in the time out chair.  Is this too drastic??  I am running out of options.  He spent 40 minutes in time out this evening and went to bed with out eating anything.  This worries me.  Any help would be greatly appreciated, I am desperate.

Suzanne

[Mom to M&M]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Big hugs - my first was a WAY picky eater with major texture issues when she was younger and my second is becoming much pickier than he used to be too.

That said, I really wouldn't use time outs for this. TBH I'm not a time-out fan in general but certainly not as "punishment" for not eating. Some of us here have had success with our picky eaters but offering multiple things at each meal - 1-2 things we know our kids will eat, 1-2 things they might eat/have tried before and 1-2 new things. And then don't offer more of the preferred items until he has at least tried one new thing from his plate?

Does he drink milk? Can you make him smoothies with added nutrition? Will he do homemade (or the Alexia brand is good) sweet potato fries?

[suzannemoore]

I have never had success with offering multiple things and having him try them.  I tried that for about two weeks and he wound up losing weight.  I am at my wits ends and I have no idea how to get this child to eat.  I am worried about him getting proper nutrition.  He does drink milk well, but I have been giving it to him after meals because he will fill himself up on milk if he does not like what is on his plate.  Any other thoughts??  I will do without the time outs and try something else.  Thanks!!

[anna*]

What does his Dr say about his nutrition? I agree with PP that using punishments over food could really backfire horribly, and I can't imagine that it will improve his relationship with food.

does he get the opportunity to just play with food? Can you work through some steps about acclimatising him to new foods which don't even involve him eating them - but just touching them, smelling them, kissing them, licking them - and getting loads of praise for that - and then when he'll do that with a new food, moving on to rewards for tasting something new. Or putting two things on his plate and rewarding him for tasting both things (one of them being something you THINK he might eat).

[We Three]

I feel like I want to point out here that in my experience with sensory issues, that even the best OTs know next-to-nothing about oral sensitivities.     Really, the OT should have recommended a speech therapist, as they have a "bit" more experience with sensory issues/oral defensiveness.  While I believe that behavior *can* play a role, the fact is that the behavior might very well have been born out of an inability to cope with certain textures/feelings/temperatures.

I too would caution you against TO, or punishment of any kind...it will end up being counter-productive, adding stress to an already stressful situation, and teaching things that will be very hard to unlearn. Once food/eating becomes a power struggle, the child will win every time. 

Have you tried looking at what he can tolerate, and trying to build upon it?  He seems to be ok with crunch..can you build on that?  I agree with letting him experience food without putting ANY pressure on him to eat it.  Cut the banana, put a small bowl of yogurt next to it, dip one piece in, pop it in your mouth, this will show him without telling him.  He won't do it, for sure...at first...but put it out a few times a week (you can finish the yogurt after). One day, ask him.."Will you stir this for me?" and then walk away....let him stir the yogurt.  Baby steps.  He will never put in his mouth what he cannot look at or touch....so he needs time to do that.


Some other thoughts....sweet potato fries...a few mixed with the regular ones...a few. He will get used to seeing them, and maybe eventually will try one.

I really think that of this were me, I'd try a ST...and do a little googling about food oral sensory issues.  I'm going to come back in a bit.  Sorry to come on strong (if I am)....I just get so passionate about this topic, and how little is known about it. 

[Mom to M&M]

ITA with Amelia and Anna - punishing for not eating/trying can just set up a really bad relationship with eating and he may see food as even scarier than. I'd definitely research an ST or at least an OT who really specializes in sensory and texture issues. Can he tell you why he won't try/doesn't like other foods or is he still too young for that? Can you have a conversation with him about it at a quiet/calm time - NOT at the dinner table? Does he help you prepare foods? Have you tried to get him to play with foods - "painting" with chocolate pudding or applesauce, playing with dried beans/rice, etc?

[suzannemoore]

He saw a ST for a year for articulation issues.  She had a lot of experience dealing with this exact issue and said it had nothing to do with his speech and it was not an oral/texture issue.  After his speech came along we worked at lunch times and tried every trick in the book.  I no longer use TO, but have been offering sweet potato fries in the hopes he will try one.

[Monkey Magic]

Im having similar problems with my 20mo little boy, rather than a texture issue he eats with his eyes first and if he dioesnt recognise something or doesnt like the look of it he wont even touch it let alone try it. We have got to the point where literally all he will eat now is fruit, toast, weetabix and crackers with butter on. Im at my wits end and its really starting to get to me. He just wont eat anything. Any suggestions welcome!!

[suzannemoore]

Sorry I have not been on in a while. I am so sorry you are having the same problems, I know how frustrating it is.  I have been trying every trick in the book and nothing seems to be helping.  I have another appointment with his Dr. to discuss the possibilities of sensory problems, as he had these as an infant.  I am not sure if this is what the problem is but I am willing to try anything.  I have had a therapist tell us that nothing was wrong, but he also hates to get dirty and hates to touch slimy things.  I thought maybe the Dr. might have some suggestions.  The only advice I can offer is just to keep trying.  I really wish I had more.  Try putting one new thing on his plate at each meal, but always the same thing.  I was told you have to offer a child something around 10 times before they will actually try it.  I hope you see some results soon.  Let me know how you are doing and I will try to think of other things I have been told.  Good luck~!