In need of reassurance

[juliennecoyle]

I'm on day five of EASY and I'm questioning whether I'm doing the right thing. My daughter is almost 7 months old and prior to starting EASY she was allowed to eat and sleep whenever, wherever she wanted, which ended with a midnight bedtime and waking up nearly every hour to nurse at night before I decided that perhaps AP wasn't working the way I had planned. EASY really does seem to be working with her so far. She goes down pretty quickly now in her own crib, often without even crying, and she sleeps from 7:30 to 7 with a dream feed and one or two other brief wake ups. My concern is how her personality has changed. She just doesnt seem like herself. She has always been such a happy easy going baby. She flirts with strangers and is always trying to make me and her daddy laugh. Since starting EASY she has been almost expressionless. She doesn't fuss much. She just doesn't seem happy like she used to. I know this has been a huge change for her and I'm just afraid it is too much too soon. I feel conflicted because she is adapting really well to the routine and I don't want to give it up and confuse her more, but I miss my baby. Has anyone else experienced this in the beginning? Does it get better? I know it must, but I need some reassurance.

Thanks!

[inoella]

Hi there! Just wanted to send {{{{{HUGS}}}} and encouragement. I don't have experience with the sudden change as we've been plodding along for a while now but I'm sure she just needs time. 5 days is not very long in comparison to 7 months.  Just giver her lots of snuggles during the day and be sure to not let her cry on her own. And if you feel the need to be flexible on some things just remember it's a routine and not a schedule and give yourself permission to do what you think is best.
Hang in there and keep us posted!

[LizzieN]

Hey sweetie,
I haven't really had any experience with a routine causing personality change, in my experience babies generally react well to predictability in their day and as long as they are getting their fill of love and cuddles and as ionella said not being left to cry I would be very surprised if the sudden change in her personality has been caused by this.

I think what I may do sweetie is move your thread over to EASY to get some more eyes on this....perhaps someone has experienced something similar?

The other thing that springs to mind is teeth, I am wondering if your APOP wasn't working well anymore because her teeth started moving and changing her onto EASY has co-incided with this???  Don't underestimate just how much teething can affect them....

Anyway I will be back shortly and hopefully we can help you get to the bottom of this!!  Hugs to you and your LO
xx

[LizzieN]

Hey again,
I am going to move this over to EASY for you, hopefully some of the amazing mummies over there can give you some more advice and I will follow along too if that's ok. Really hope we can get to the bottom of this, but I would definately suspect teeth or a minor illness coming on...

Could you please post your normal EASY for us so that we can have a bit of a look and see if anything needs "tweaking"?

Big hugs to you and your LO
xx

[juliennecoyle]

Thanks! Im starting to think the personality changes are because she is so tired. Heres our typical routine. Let me know if you see anything that needs tweeking.

7 wake up and nurse
8:30 solids
9:30 or 10 nap (40 - 90 min)
11 or 11:30 nurse
12:30 solids
1:30 or 2 nap (40 - 90 min)
3 or 3:30 nurse
5 cat nap ( only if really tired from short naps earlier)
5:30 solids
7 nurse
7:30 sleep
10 dream feed (2 - 3 ounces. Wakes up every time and takes an hour or so to get back down.)
Wakes at least one other time but last night she woke 6 times!!

[Chicane]

Hi julienne

Sending you big hugs. Good on you for taking charge to change things, you do not have to be a slave to AP!

I am sooooo impressed by the progress you have made so far. Its incredible that you have managed to teach her how to get to sleep on her own in her crib. I don't think you realise how incredible that is in just 5 days!

About the personality change....in my opinion I don't actually think her personality has changed, I think she is going through some big changes, her routine, and developmental too. And I am pretty sure that with a bit of tweaking you will get your happy LO back in no time. It will take her time to get used to the new way of doing things.

7 months can bring a lot of new things, there was a recent growth spurt at 6 months, teeth often start to begin to arrive (even if you can't see them) and many bubs finally realise that they are separate beings and can start to experience separation anxiety (although it might be a little early for that) and stranger anxiety, they can become more clinging around people they dont know...

Routine - at this age you should be aiming for 2 naps of at least 1.5 - 2 hours each. LOs start to drop the CN at this age and on days where you can't get the CN you should compensate with an early BT. Also, I would suggest you start to phase out the DF. It gets to a point where the DF actually impedes night sleep rather than helps it.

I think your problem are these 40 min naps...how often are you getting 40 mins naps? These are not restful and could be leading to over tiredness which is in turn effecting her nights...are you ever able to extend these short naps using shh/pat or PUPD (pick up put down)?

On the short nap days has she had a longer or shorter A time before? I think perhaps you could try shortening the A time to 2.5hrs or 2.45...you have some A times of 3 hours and if she is not yet 7 months then its probably too long

check out the sample routines here and these other links
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64837.0

let us know how you get on

xo

[juliennecoyle]

Thanks so much for the encouragement and advice. The naps are definitely the biggest problem. She goes right down but wont stay asleep longer than 40 min. I tried pu/pd for the remainder of the nap time for a week but it wasn't working and it was making both of us crazy so I just quit trying and I give her a cat nap if she needs it. Tonight I tried putting her down at 6:45 instead of a cat nap and she woke up 30 min later and took an hour to go back down. I tried cutting out the dream feed and she woke up every hour from 11 on. I don't think she's ready even though i wish she was. I am so exhausted. This has been the hardest week since having her.

[inoella]

Hi Julienne - Sorry to hear how exhausted you are. Just wanted to send sympathetic "get more sleep" vibes for you and your LO. My LO was alw

[Chicane]

Hi love,

don't have much time at the moment. Will come back to you tomorrow. But just wanted to say leave the DF for the moment, concentrate on naps and the DF can be dealt with later...I will get back to you tomorrow.

Don't worry its going to be okay, this time will pass, you've done so well and made so much progress in such a short time you really should be proud. You will both get there in the end.

xoxo

[Chicane]

Hi Julienne,

how are you today?

It can take a few days or more for changes to the routine to take effect. When you are just starting out establishing EASY, learning the techniques, it can take a long time. It took us a long time. We had small breakthroughs along the way and you have already had some too. Its hard to see the forest for the trees.

I think your LO is OT (over tired) I would try to do several nights of early bedtimes to compensate for the OT. So get her into bed at 6-6.30pm. Let her do some catching up.

How have you been going reducing the A times? I think scale things back to better suit her age. In the meantime you are still going to have to use PUPD and shh/pat. i would start with shh/pat before using PUPD (PUPD can be too stimulating for some) you may need to adjust the method to suit. For example, my DS hated shh/pat the way its described in the book and it took me a long time to realise he just needed a low hum and gentle strokes on the head. Try it. Try everything till you find what she responds to best.

She's has 7 months of doing things one way and now she needs to learn a new way. She's not crying cause she is angry or upset with you. She's just a bit confused and crying is the only way she has of saying it. You being there to help her through this strong emotion she is feeling is the best comfort for her.

I was where you are now, desperate, exhausted, confused, unsure if I was doing the right thing, knowing it couldn't continue the way it was but not knowing how to make the changes needed...its hard, but the result is worth it, I can promise that.

If you have the energy post up another day soon. sending you big love

xo