How to stop sucking lovey

[anna*]

I know this one divides opinion. I'm still not sure what my own thoughts are. I don't 'want' to get rid of Robert... but I am REALLY SICK of Stan's loveys. I don't mind him having them to hold/put over his eyes, but there are only two and they get so gross, so stinky, give him bad breath  and they are totally gross after only one night or one nap and I can't keep on top of laundering them. They are just unhygeinic and hideous. I know he CAN sleep without one because he does so at nursery every day for his nap, but he has never done so at home.

Does anyone have any tips on getting a 3-y-o to get rid of his lovey?

[Tweakster]

(((hugs Anna))) no real tips, I know people that still had that little patch of blanket they carried around until they were adults, and some thumb suckers.  They get attached to something, it makes them feel good, it's soothing and that's all they need to know.  I think it's a matter of waiting him to outgrow it.  Does he only use it at bedtime?  I mean he's not carrying it around a lot?

[momtonb&ab]

oh anna, we know all too well about the smelly sucked on lovies!

as ridiculous as it seems, what worked for us with Niklas was going to the dentist.  for the couple of weeks before we went to the dentist we talked about how we were going to talk to the dentist about sucking on his elephant and that the dentist might say he shouldn't do it anymore because it was bad for his teeth.  then, on the day of teh dentist we asked him about it together and of course he told niklas it was bad for his teeth because it kept the germs in his mouth and might hurt his teeth.  (a planned speech mind you but it worked.). 

so then we talked on the way home about how he should just hug his elephant and after lunch that day on his way to nap time when i said 'now, do you think you can just hug your elephant' he said 'oh mommy, dr.b said it hurts my teeth, i don't think i need my elephant'.  he was 2 yrs 8mths and that was the end of it.  he kept his monkey in bed with him (he didnt' suck the monkey) and gave up the elephants.   

could you try something like that?  they understand so much!

[anna*]

Hmm - not sure what we could use... He's not due to go to the dentist again for another 9 mos.

[Mum-of-Two]

At my then 3 year old's well checkup the doctor said he could tell she still had a pasi because of the split in her front teeth.  Between worry of looking nice (conceded girl we have here) and a story I made up...

I told her that she could keep the binky but when she turned 3 the binky fairy would come and take it from her if it was in her mouth.  So long as she kept is in her hand or in her bed, it was safe.  Put it in her mouth and the binky fairy would come take it to give to a newborn baby who needed its protection and support.  I was real light hearted about it, no scary anything, likened it to the tooth fairy and part of growing up.  And I told her that the fairy would leave her a lovely prize if she was ready to get rid of it all together.

My DD decided to keep it, in her hand, in her bed... eventually it got lost.

Another friend of mine told her kids that the binky had to go back to its parent's in binky land because it was only supposed to visit for a few years and was missing it's Mommy.

Good luck to you -- the fact you know he can sleep without it is a blessing -- now to deal with the emotional attachement.  Hugs and vibes for success!

[<Catherine>]

Not sure if this would work at all Anna, but a friend of mine wanted her DD (just turned 3 at the time) to get rid of the dummy and she told her that Father Christmas had to take it, she made a big thing of leaving it out for him on Christmas Eve and she just accepted it and that was that.

[Mum-of-Two]

Not sure if this would work at all Anna, but a friend of mine wanted her DD (just turned 3 at the time) to get rid of the dummy and she told her that Father Christmas had to take it, she made a big thing of leaving it out for him on Christmas Eve and she just accepted it and that was that.

Fantastic idea!  I may try that with my son.  He's much more stubborn. 

[shivi]

Oscar gave his dummy to Santa last Christmas at the ripe old age of 3 yrs 8 mths....and never looked back. we DID start prepping him a good while in advance, talking about how the baby reindeer needed it etc etc.

He only had it for sleep at home, similar to Stan he could nap in nursery without it.

S x

[anna*]

Thanks for the ideas everyone! I am going to consider giving Robert to Santa to give to another little child who needs a bunny... I don't know. It feels mean somehow - because Robert truly is Stan's comfort ie when he is sick or tired or sad - but the smell is horrible and the laundry... etc etc. I just don't know.

[<Catherine>]

Do you want to get rid of Robert, or the whole lovey thing altogether? If Robert is the problem, could you maybe give him to Santa, as you say, and Santa brings a new 'big boy' lovey (would need to be something similar to Robert I would assume) - one that you can get 3 or 4 (or more) of so that the washing etc isn't such an issue. Maybe make a big thing of Santa bringing it for Stan as he's getting to be a big boy, and that this is his last year with a lovey or something, ie Santa will be taking this one next Christmas and that's it? So he can maybe begin to understand that at Christmas (next year) he'll have to part with a lovey altogether - giving him time to get used to the idea.

I don't know Anna, reading this through I'm not sure it's a good idea or not!

[Shdef]

Have you tried making his legs out of something else? Something suckable? Can't come up with somethng, but there will be some material that won't get so horrible...

I'm saying that cause I SAW Stan sucking his, lol, so I am biased.

[momtonb&ab]

I don't know about giving it away.... I think it is different with a soother they suck on but this is his lovie. I think it more needs to go up on a shelf or in a glass box rather than gone.  Niklas gave up sucking on his elephants but he regularly checks on them in the basket in his closet.

[anna*]

That's sort of what I think Cherie. The question is just how to get him to stop sucking it. I have told him that it's not good for his teeth, but he doesn't care at all.

[We Three]

Can you do something to the trunk, legs, (whatever it is that he sucks on) like sew yarn around them, or something fuzzy that isn't nice to suck on, (felt? Fur?) and tell Stan that Robert asked you to do that, because he doesn't like to feel wet?       Kind of make it about Robert, "Robert loves you soooooo much, and loves to snuggle with you, but he doesn't like to get all wet and yucky...I think we need to be a good friend to him and do as he wants..."   

We have to think of something....the thought of taking Robert....oh I just know *I* won't sleep at night!  I am scarred FOR LIFE from when Millies "bun" got lost...I wouldn't wish that on any lo, or Mommy! 

[anna*]

Anne I think that could work... maybe...