Vicious OT Circle - NW EW + too short naps @ 10 months

[Bel]

Hi

It seems that we are caught in an OT trap.

It all started with a string of NWs 2 months ago which I put down to a cold and teething and treated with an APOP BF, but all seemed stable with both day time naps good (1.5hrs) and 11-12hrs at night.

Over the last couple of weeks the day time naps have shortened dramatically and NW and EW have become more severe. One thing that has changed is that I stopped BF to treat the NWs. As a result DS stayed up for 30min - 2hrs once or twice a night. The worst were five NWs, but that followed a hyper OT day.

A typical night/day:

1 or 3am wake, up for ~50 min
5.40 wake, up for ~30 min (often take him to bed or lie down with him in his cot and a quick BF)

7am start the day with another quick BF
8.30 breakfast

10/10.30 nap (30 min)

11 BF
12-1pm lunch

1.30/2pm nap (30 min - 1.10hrs, if the former, trying for catnap later but mostly APOPed)

3/4pm BF
5pm dinner
6/6.30  Bath, BF and BT

No nap or BT starts without crying and the same for wake ups. I have to PU/PD or PD for some naps and all NWs. The NWs are at different times mostly so W2S doesn't seem to be an option. He is usually eating well, so I am discounting hunger. Have offered water at night, but cup was flung across the room, so not thirsty either...

Is this the onset of the 2-1 transition? There is no skipping naps or delicious 2hr naps as seem to be typical. Do I just have to hang in there and it'll sort itself out or am I missing an important clue?

If it wasn't for my star of a DH who is doing two nights after I've done two nights, it'd probably be very hard to cope with...

All thoughts much appreciated,

B

[sianie]

Hi there! 

From reading your post, OT really stands out to me. I would guess after your DS went through cold/teething you've got caught in a bit of a an OT loop, which can be a bit tricky to get out of. Plus at around 10 mths you could also be possibly starting 2:1 transition (just to throw a spanner in the works?!)

You mentioned that you stopped BF'ing for NW's, what do you do to re-settle him when he wakes up? Do you try to let him re-settle on his own?

You said that he eats well, what does this look like through the day (milk & solids)?

Crying when being put down for a nap BT, lots of NW's & short naps definitely sounds like OT or pain/discomfort. Could  he be teething again?

Hang in there....

[Bel]

Hi Sianie,

Thanks for your support!

You are right, there is a bit of teething in there too. It hasn't caused NWs in the past but definitely EWs and who knows... this round might be all different.

When DS wakes at night we wait a little to see if he settles himself, but this is rarely the case. We go in when his cries start to reach a throaty pitch. We do go to the bathroom and put on warm jumpers (as it's freezing in the UK), so there is always a little delay. But it seems that the sooner we go in the better he settles. Trouble is he throws his lovely out of the cot and then settling on his own is harder with only his second favourite toy around. But even that is flung out at times and only leaves his blankets.

Last night at 4am I found him standing on the side of the crib. I did two PU/PDs and he didn't get back up. He had a little cry lying down, was obviously tired, then rolled to his side and lay there for about 30min, eyes wide open, occasionally cooing, until he yawned and fell asleep sucking his thumb and holding his lovey. Meanwhile I was standing and later sitting on a chair beside the crib and each time I moved he looked up but put his head back down when he saw I was still there. In the past I have tried to WI/WO but it backfired massively, kept him up for much too long. I guess he is still too young for that... I have the line about the 'hostage situation' in my head because he jumps straight back up when I walk away from the crib.

He had a stuffy nose and possibly sore gums as he had his fingers in his mouth for a bit. (I usual give meds when it seems very bad, but not when he is not verbally complaining, is that ok?). We started the day when he woke at 6am which was great as he fell asleep at about 6.30pm the night before. So very positive night!

It does puzzle me a bit when he just lies there, eyes wide open. I have never let him CIO but it looks like I imagine a baby must act who's had that experience. Kind of resigning to his/her fate.

His food intake consists of about four breastfeeds (although he is getting less interested in the two during the day and they are often just one side) and a good cereal breakfast with banana and some of dad's cereal, lunch and dinner consisting of some sort of lumpy mash a la Annabel Karmel. If a dish is dismissed I give him more of his dessert fruit or in the evening porridge. Yesterday he wasn't terribly hungry all day but that's ok. We take those days in our stride as he still makes it through the night.

So I think from what you say we have to work on OT.

A couple of questions I have:
When you say the OT circle is hard to get out of what does that mean exactly?
Is it normal that DS would be lying in his cot totally still with his eyes wide open only stirring when I move? And is it not a good idea to stay until he falls asleep?
Am I rushing into his room? Where does waiting to settle end and CIO start?
What does one do when the lovey becomes a missile?

Thanks for all your help. We are going from London to NZ in a couple of weeks and it would be great to have some predictability/consistency back for the 24hr flight and the jet lag.

Feeling much better today!

B

[sianie]

Hi there!

It could well be a combination of OT/teething etc & unfortunately you'll never know for definite  ! I guess it's all about trying to come up with the likely problem then doing a bit of damage limitation....

OT cycles are when OT builds up over a few days (due to short naps, NW's, EW's etc), so the LO never really gets proper restorative sleep iyswim? To try & get out the cycle I usually try & get longer naps during the day (or try & fit in more naps if they are short) plus I do an early BT (which actually can help with EW's & even if it doesn't at least they have had more total hours sleep.

You mention about it being cold (same here too!), do you think that could be contributing to the NW's? Do you use a baby sleeping bag?

His food intake seems fine though you probably could drop to 3 BF's, especially if he's starting to loose interest, this should make him more hungry for solids & take more at the other BF's. Also, I've found that teething can affect food intake.

I think you are totally doing the right thing not rushing into him, a lot of their moans are them trying to re-settle & if you went in at that point they would lose their ability to do it, so going in when he starts to get distressed is right. I always try to re-settle in the cot first. You are not letting him CIO if you are there with him, he can see you & know your there for him.

I agree to use meds when you can see him suffering but maybe try some teething gel &/or teething salts when he wakes rather than Calpol (unless you feel it's necessary)?

Hope I've answered your Q's a bit? 

[Bel]

Thanks Sianie, that is really helpful.

We are using a sleeping bag and the blankets usually stay on too, so I am not too worried it's the cold that's waking him. I could try a hat, but I guess it would upset him more at BT than do any good.

I know that BFing at night is a no, no, but what if it means they settle quicker and as a result get more night time sleep? I guess it is about choosing the frying pan or the fire, iykwim ;-)

Good to hear your thoughts on the 4th BF. I thought I was going to be one of those mums who'll find it hard to stop but I am getting ready for it. Just want to hang in there until he's one as there is a very strong eczema gene on his dad's side (already showing signs of more than just baby eczema).

I guess I have slipped from AP (BFing at night) into a new problem (OT) which makes it seem like we've had a problem for over 2 months when we are actually dealing with separate issues.

I guess I just keep going for a bit longer doing damage control and see what happens.

Thanks again Sianie for opening my eyes. I'll report back if there is no change...

Bel

[sianie]

Hi....

Sounds like he should be warm enough, especially if he's in a sleeping bag. I wouldn't use a hat as he could overheat.

It really is your choice about BF'ing at night, if you're happy doing it then that's fine, I guess the pitfall is that it becomes a habit rather than a need & so gets harder to break as time goes on....

In the meantime I think try & work on lengthing his naps (30 min naps usually mean OT & it could be that the NW's are leading to him still feeling tired when he gets up in the AM hence the short AM nap). Also his A time after the 30 min nap seems a tad long so you might want to cut it back a bit...

Good luck! 

[Bel]

Hey Sianie

Success!!!

After an ok night before yesterday and another day of too short naps (one of which I extended to 50 min, the other was 30 min again) today was a break through.

Last night we had one wake at 4.30 and by the time I had got back from the bathroom DS had fallen asleep again. He woke on and off from 5.30 and I was worried he'd be cold as I was sure he would have stood up at the earlier wake and lost the blankets. So I went in and a completely cuddly warm baby got to his feet. Oh well, he'd been asleep by 18.10 the night before so I felt he'd had a decent enough sleep. Lo and behold I caught his first signs of tiredness for his first nap. They are finally obvious again. I grabbed him and he leaned into the crib before I was even close enough to lower him. He fell asleep without crying and woke chortling two hours later! What a relief! Even the carpenter who ran into his door and the neighbour who rang the doorbell did not wake him.

Second nap was an hour and a half, so it looks like DS managed to catch up on some sleep.

I put him to bed at 18.30, happily chortling away.

I think I learned the following:
I had to help my DS twice in his little life to sleep through the night (first was at 3.5 months). Both times dropping the BFing at night was key. I still believe that a bit of APOPing in this OT nightmare was ok as it meant that at least he was able to catch up on some lost sleep and get his rhythm back. But in all those hours when I thought, 'why is this happening?' what kept me going both times was that I had full faith in my DS that he could do it and that Tracy's methods work. Other mums would say to me 'oh he's only breast fed, well, maybe you should try formula to make him STTN'. Or they said 'the best milk is at night time anyway.' But I know now that if you stick to BWing you'll have a happy, trusting child who is a pleasure to have around!

Thank you Sianie for opening my eyes to the problem so that I could keep working on it when I wasn't sure what was going on. We are still working around the teething but it is not interrupting his sleep anymore which is great. Fingers crossed that we'll be good when we hop onto that plane to NZ!

Thanks for this website and all the mums who keep Tracy's spirit alive!

Bel

[sianie]

Hi Bel!

Really pleased that you are seeing some success, yay!!  Keep at it!

I guess I have the benefit of hindsight having had 2 BW'd LO's (& I'm still far from being any kind of expert!), but I have definitely seen the hard work I put in in the early months pay off as they have got older!

Enjoy your trip!