Can anyone help me with my spirited boy?

[Lou'sMum]

Feel as though I need to post everywhere just now, it has all gone seriously wrong. 

LO is 9.5 months, super spirited, commando crawling (not quite up on hands/knees!), just about walking, has just 2 bottom teeth but been teething for months, on maintenance meds for reflux, has a dummy but mostly just for sleeping.

Our (ideal) day...
Wake - 6.30
E   7 - bottle
E   8 - breckie
A   6.30 - 9.30
S   9.30 - 10.30

E   12 - lunch
A   10.30 - 1.30pm
S   1.30 - 3pm

E   3.30pm - snack
E   5pm - dinner
A   3 - 7pm
6.15 - bath, bottle
S   7pm

Days
We've only just started to shorten the morning nap, and it seemed to be going well for a couple of days but he seems permanently OT now, and I cant get close to 3hrs A-time in the morning. I blame his teeth for a lot, but not so sure.

We don't have lots of high intensity A-time and I do try to vary what we do in a day.

Being a spirited young guy he's always been pretty feisty, but I feel like all I do is battle with him the past few days. Changing a nappy has become a nightmare because he won't sit still and it ends up with a serious tantrum. After bath is the same, then he chokes on his bottle and gets even more worked up. He is also a big strong lad and im knackered both physically and mentally.

He saves all this up for mum and dad though, any visitors get the laughing and fun!!

Nights
After finally getting his reflux recognised we had 3 blissful months of STTN between 3-6mths (with EW but i'd take that again in a heartbeat!) and since then I can count on one hand when we have all had a full night sleep. We introduced the dummy at 6mths as he got so much comfort from it with his teeth, and I wondered if this was the problem, but posted over on props and advised not to remove at this age.

Not one night is the same really. Sometimes we get waking and babbling, which could last for over and hour, then he gets fed up and cries. Other times he had wriggled into an awkward position. Or he has lost his dummy. Or sometimes he cries out painfully (guess teeth). I try to comfort without picking him up when I can but that doesn't always work.

We almost always get many EW from 3.30 onwards. Usually up a couple of times to tell him its sleepy time and not time to get up yet!

We do medicate at night for teething, but sometimes i feel like i'm just pumping him with drugs and im not sure thats whats up.


So... can anyone help me with my spirited boy? How do I deal with the tantrums? Is it tiredness? Is my routine wrong? Random NW, why? HELP PLEASE!!!

x

[~Sara~]

What does his actual day look like?  I ask because most babies don't do a textbook EASY routine, and it will vary somewhat from day-to-day   Could you write down his EAS for a full day or two and post?  Or if you already have, could you post that?  It will really help to see what he's actually doing in that format, in addition to the description you've given.

Also, if what's going on has nothing to do with his routine and is truly related to pain from teething or reflux and/or accumulated OT, it might just take a bit of accepting wonky sleep and trying the best you can.

Hang in there!  We're here to help

[Lou'sMum]

Unless we have a super EW (like this morning 5am and wouldn't resettle) his day does follow the ideal for E, and the naps were consistently 1.5 hrs until I tried to cut the am nap short the other week, but the nights were worse then IYKWIM? I don't have a note of his actual EAS, but will keep a note for today/tomorrow. I usually just shift his day earlier by an hour or so to try get over the EW, so he'll be in bed for 6 at the latest. Is that the best way to deal with it?

Last night he had a pretty fitful sleep (cried out, was noisy but didn't need me) and then woke at 2, bright as a button for about an hour, then 5 and that was him. Put him for his nap at 8, and he was up 8.45. Woke with a cry, then lay there moaning and babbling.

His reflux has been ok (we think... if only they could talk!), and we see the paed again in January so will hopefully get good news then.

The more I think about it im guessing its OT? We were trying to change his routine a little by shortening the am nap but keeping bedtime the same. What do you think?

Thanks so much.

[~Sara~]

I usually just shift his day earlier by an hour or so to try get over the EW, so he'll be in bed for 6 at the latest. Is that the best way to deal with it?

Yes, I would say either that or fitting in a little catnap in the evening...but it really depends on your LO.  I know some babies who desperately need the early bedtime, whereas other babies (my DS included) did okay with sneaking in an extra catnap.

Let's see what his day looks like and go from there.  If he's caught in an OT loop, you could try APOPing for a couple of naps to make sure he sleeps for a while, wipe the slate clean so to speak.

[Lou'sMum]

Ok, it has been a wee while since I was last here and things gone from bad to worse. He is all over the place, now refusing naps and generally being grumpy, swings like jekyll and hyde. Both me and hubby are at each others throats, and its really getting me down.

I had taken a note of his EASY for a few days but lost it (in more ways than one)!! Ill start again tomorrow...

Feel like every day is such a struggle and im guilt-ridden. I love him dearly but sometimes he can be so hard to like.

 

[Jiinx]

Just wanted to hop on board and offer some hugs! I hear ya with it getting you down. Those early months really hit me hard. Do you remember how he behaved prior to being medicated for his reflux? Is it anything similar? What medication are you on?

*hugs* hope you're having a better afternoon.

[~Sara~]

*hugs* my dear...the first few months were hard for me, too.  It's just hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes, you know?  I promise things will get better with time.  Experience gives you a wonderful perspective.

For the time being, is there any accidental parenting you could use to get him to take naps?  Even if that means in the carseat, in the stroller, on you...anything to help him get caught up?  Do you think his reflux meds need to be adjusted?  In an above post, you mentioned that you had to wait until January to see his ped...any way that could get bumped up?

[Lou'sMum]

Hi ladies, and thanks for the much needed hugs. This site is such a godsend sometimes!

Unfortunately I suffered PND in the beginning because it wore me down so much, and i've been crying so much these days poor hubby is getting worried again. I am just panicking because I am back to work after new year and don't know how i'll cope with the tiredness.

@Jiinx, I think it has been wishful thinking on my part that the reflux has gone, coz he is acting very similar to the bad old days. He's been getting really upset when I lay him town to change the nappy and yesterday he just kicked off and screamed until he was choking and sobbing so hard. We both were. These 'episodes' have happened a good few times over the past month, mostly if he wakes from a nap early but also the other night at bedtime he screamed until he was sick. Don't think its OT but maybe it is??? He is on Omeprazole, 15mg per day. Also on Nutramigen 2 formula, but am going to try Neocate or Nutramigen AA. I've always had a nag in my mind re CMPI so he is dairy free, so maybe a change in formula could help? I tried him with cauliflower cheese a couple of months ago and ended up wearing it!

He does get a little agitated at meals but I thought he was moaning because I wasn't feeding him fast enough!

As far as the paed appt goes, no joy with getting something sooner. Only a couple of weeks to wait I guess, it is at the beginning of the month.

@Sara, the past couple of days we've spend driving him around to get sleep. His car seat is nice and comfy so I don't mind so much, the last once was teeny and I hated him being in it.

So, the past couple of nights/days have gone something like below. The long afternoon naps are not usual. When I settle in the evening I make as little fuss as I can and very rarely take him out of the cot. Standing up is a new thing and maybe a little separation anxiety? Not sure.

This is all I could get just now as granny has him tonight to give us a break.


TUE NIGHT

Bed      6.45
Woke    1.20am - 'shouted' and moaned for a bit, stood up in cot. Went in to see him when the shouting turned to crying, layed him down , replugged the    dummy and he wouldn't settle for 1.5hrs. He was pretty wide awake. Kept crying when i tried to leave the room.
Woke    5am - cried out a little and resettled himself
Woke    6am ish - moaned/babbled a bit till we got him up at 6.45


WED

Woke   6ish
E      7 - 7oz milk
E      7.40 - porridge with fruit
A      6 - 9.15
S      9.15 - 10.15 - Slept in car
E      12.30 - Lunch
A      10.15 - 1.40
S      1.40 - 4.10 - I know this is too long but he was left in the hands of hubby, and he didn't want to wake him. I think he was in shock!
E      5.15 - Dinner
A      4.10 - 6.45 (bath, bottle and bed)
S      6.45
woke      1.40 - standing up in cot, same as before. Settled much quicker, asleep by 2am.
woke      2.15 - as above, settled this time
woke    5 - resettled himself
woke      5.45 and wouldn't resettle


THURS

Woke      5.45
E      6.45 - 7oz milk
E      7.30 - porridge with fruit
A      5.45 - 9.05
S      9.05 - 10 - Slept in car
E      1pm - Lunch (so late because of the meltdown)
A      10 - 1.45
S      1.45 - 3.30 - Slept in car
E      3.45 - Snack
E      5.30 - Dinner
A      3.30 - 6.45 (bath, bottle and bed)
S      6.45
woke      4.30 - wouldn't settle until 6
woke      7



So... can anyone see something glaringly obvious that I am doing? Thanks for the help and support. x

[Jiinx]

Hi there!
 Just wondering, is he getting 4 feeds/bottles a day? I could only see three...

 With nights like that, I'm suspecting pain/reflux..there could be some OT going on in there. The one hour naps in the morning isn't too bad..it may just be the long A time in between that and the next nap. 

Since he is turning 10 months, it wouldn't be uncommon for him to be going into the 2-1 soon. However, they tend to wake up earlier and earlier in the morning or cut their naps by themselves. i'm not too sure we have to deal with that just yet...I would just like to see the amount of A time he's capable of and what kind of regular naps he can do.