I need a routine

[anna*]

I don't do well with just 'going with the flow' especially because I have to work in the evenings and need to know when/if I'm going to be able to work!?

On that basis do you think I should just drop Stan's nap and do a 7pm bedtime and hope that he will sleep 12 hours? He doesn't often sleep 12 hours but maybe he will if he realises he isn't getting a nap any more? If he has a nap he SOMETIMES will go to sleep at 8 but other times won't.

I really just need some kind of a routine to work within. I really need a break from him during the day but not if it means he is going to be up til 10.30 at night (like last night, and that was only a 1hr nap, but that's unusual, so I don't know if I should base anything on that or not???).

Quiet time in his room, I am not sure how to do that. He either falls asleep, or keeps on calling for me every 2 minutes. Gah.

[LucySol]

would he listen to a story on a cd? hopefully he wont fall asleep but it will keep him quiet for a bit while he rests.
i have cut D's nap to an hour and we get a 12 hr night on that.i love it cos i really need my evenings for some 1;1 time with B and then DH.
Would he cope without a nap everyday? if so i think id go for it.Id just find something to keep him amused for an hour at lunhtime.Maybe a DVD? something he wont need you for?

[anna*]

He won't Lucy. When I've tried he's listened to the first story on the CD (about 15 mins) by himself and then either a) been asleep before the end or b) started yelling for me as soon as the first story ends. That's 15 mins quiet time but not really enough for either of us.

I've no idea if he'll cope without a nap every day. I know that evening meltdowns are more likely/frequent on days when he hasn't napped but maybe he would adjust? What worries me is that he doesn't usually do 12 hour nights so he'll only be getting 11.5hrs in 24 which doesn't seem like much and gradually getting more and more OT. Trouble is I never know when to do naps and when not to so it is a bit random. Also the more often he skips a nap the less likely he is to allow me to put him down for a nap the next day - he looks out his curtains and says 'See? It's awake time! It's not dark, it's not time to sleep.'

[*Becky*]

'See? It's awake time! It's not dark, it's not time to sleep.'

yes, i am waiting for this too!
Anna, if he will not do quiet time i would do as lucy says and put on a dvd so hopefully he will be still and quiet for an hour or so.
I do think he may need a nap some days. could you make it into a weekend thing so he can stay up later but have a nap. might help with any OT that could develop.

[anna*]

So the nap seems to be pretty much dropped - he hasn't had a nap since last Sunday, and that was only about 40 minutes. He is TIRED though. Last night he slept 14 hours (!!!) but he's still been so tired today, melt-downs all day long, and he's just not that kid you know, that's not like him. I tried to give him a nap today, lay down with him in my bed, but gave up in the end. At least he had 40 mins lying down quiet time. I expect he would have nodded off if I had persevered for longer but he hadn't been out all day and if it went much later it would have been starting to get dark.

It's hard. It's hard when we're working to pick him up from nursery early enough that he can be in bed before 7 (bedtime routine takes SO LONG with the 'I can do it by myself' stage, and even longer still when he's tired), and he has to get up at 7.15, so most nights he's getting less than 12 hours because I have to wake him up.

I guess it's just like any transition really, few tough weeks while riding out the bumps.

[koe2moe]

Anna, did he nap at daycare?  If so, for how long?  What time does he take the nap?  How's he doing at bedtime on daycare days?  I'm finding it strange that DS would nap happily 2 hrs without any fuss at all at daycare but only nap around 1-1h20 at home and with all kinds of crying, screaming beforehand!!!! 

[anna*]

He's not really napping at nursery any more. Sometimes he lies down and has 40 mins quiet time, sometimes he refuses to lie down at all and just wants to go out and play, and sometimes he will have an hour's nap - but when THAT happens, bedtime is really difficult, he just can't get to sleep until like 9 or 9.30.

[Shiv52]

We're sadly in the same stage of nap dropping.  If M will nap its not to too late in the pm and then bedtime ends up being so late.  She started this ages ago and with a lot of tweaking I did get her napping again.  She wasn't making it up in her night sleep and someone advised me that that was a sign that she wasn't ready to drop it.  But in the last few weeks we have had quite a few non nap days again and she has started making it up in her night sleep.  She slept 13.5 hours two nights last week.   So maybe if Stan slept 14 hours he is ready to drop his nap and you can use the weekend to help him catch up?  

I struggle alot with this nap dropping.  Two days this week I got both babies napping at the same time and it was bliss!!  I really need Maeve to have a sleep in the day (partly for my sanity as she NEVER stops talking or moving the whole day long but also because she turns into a gremlin about 5.30 if she hasn't napped) but then I have realised I have to be prepared for the late bedtimes.  UGH.  DH let her sleep from 3.30-5 today and she was still running around at 9.30pm which was driving me nuts.

So i guess the choice is nap + late bedtime OR no nap, grumpy pm and normal/early bedtime and I think you are in the same boat eh?   I did notice last week she was much easier distracted at the gremlin stage of the day so I do think she is getting used to the not sleeping and we are in an adjustment period.  Its unfortunate though that when she needs me to be on top of my game and full of beans and fun I am at the stage in the day where I am getting to be like a gremlin too so we were clashing abit so i am making an effort to help her get through the tiredness and through to bed.

I get the 'its not night time' too.  I simply say 'you're right, its NAP time. that happens in the daytime'.  Worked for a while and still now but only once its late enough in the afternoon!!


{{{hugs}}}
 

[koe2moe]

oh my!  nap dropping so soon?!?!  *shivers*  I really need that nap myself during the day and I was just falling asleep at about the hr mark!!!  oh my goodness!! 

[*Becky*]

I very much doubt H will be napping by 2.5. A scary thought!

[MLK]

WIth my DS1 the nap dropping took 6 months really - but we let him nap on the weekends to catch up, and we also had to go out late some nights so needed him to nap those days. Is it worth trying for a nap every 3/4 days, if not bedtime around 6:30pm?

[anna*]

I'm really HOPING I get can him to take a few naps over the next week. For example tomorrow night we have a little tiny Xmas drinks party round at the niehgbours (3 sets of neighbours all with similar age kids), but if Stan won't nap in the afternoon he'll be in meltdown by 6.30pm. Likewise Christmas day, will make it much nicer for everyone if he will have a nap! Don't fancy the odds really... but still hoping!

[Shiv52]

Could you tell him that?  I got Maeve to nap a day last week as we were going to see her cousins that night and told her she needed to try have a sleep as she needed lots of energy to play.  She seemed to buy that!

[sherry lynn]

Hey Anna - Just wanted to offer hugs. As you know we are going through the same thing. I'm going to start a new thread so I don't hijack yours though. Just wanted to pop in and say hi.

[MLK]

At this age we needed to do the nap around 2/2:30pm for DS1 otherwise he wouldn't go down... so we usually kept it for days when we needed to go out.