Definitely need help with EASY for 7 month old....long

[Ambinsi]

Well, she seemed very tired at the 12pm mark. I kept her up a little bit, fed her, and put her down around 12:20ish. She fell asleep at 12:30 but was up at 1pm screaming. I am very concerned at this point. She was a textbook baby and we're only having these issues now. I'm concerned about the waking up screaming. She's clearly tired and I have no idea what to do for her. I went in there to try to soothe her back down and it only escalated. She was bucking and wiggling in my arms, screaming. I tried to put her down and she stood up, screaming. Finally my DH went in there, picked her up and he's trying to calm her down on the couch as I write this. She is definitely calming down but I don't have great hopes of getting her back down right now.

30 minutes and up screaming = OT, right?? How is that possible after she'd up for less than 2.5 hours?? I'm so confused and frustrated and I really do feel like we're all starting to suffer now, including her.

DH suggested we start napping her by the clock but I'm not sure about that.

We are definitely in a horrible cycle here....

[empowered mama]

I'm so sorry it's tough like this for right now hun...

30 minutes and up screaming = OT, right??

I don't think this is necessarily the case.  I know plenty of folks who get 30 min UT naps and if she had a decent AM nap, then my gut would say she needed more A time before the nap. 

Is she doing pretty well sleeping independently these days?  There are no props involved, right?  Just trying to cover any bases that might be throwing things off.  If things don't get cleared up soon, I'll get some other moderators on here to take a look and offer advice and thoughts on this.

(((hugs)))

[Ambinsi]

If you had asked me about props a week or two ago I would have proudly told you we were prop-free....however while away and on the plane and in the hotel we did resort to some old ones.....paci and rocking. The rocking is the one I am more concerned about right now. Upon returning home I tried to stop it....we have been rocking to calm and soothe but always make sure to put her down drowsy but awake. Is it still a prop then?

After the 30 minute disaster earlier I knew I had to get another nap in and I had to go food shopping and she fell asleep in the car and I let her sleep in the car on purpose for an hour. I know the car was a prop but I did it knowing she needed to sleep. Wdyt?

Should I give it a few days and see what happens?  Thanks again so much!

[empowered mama]

Is it still a prop then?

Hmm....that's a tough call.  I think at this age it is recommended that they be put down fully awake and not really engaging much in the way of rocking - it sounds like a fine line you are walking.  Have you tried PU/PD by chance?

I know the car was a prop but I did it knowing she needed to sleep. Wdyt?

In these cases I would say it is best to get your LO the sleep they need and prevent OT from really taking over, so I wouldn't say it was a bad thing for you to give her the car sleep.  I do have a feeling that there may be a little prop dependency going on which might be partial cause for the screaming.  She may be relying on you a bit to get her to sleep.

Have you checked out the PU/PD boards by chance?  Lots of helpful info there hun...

[Ambinsi]

I've attempted PU/PD in the past but I didn't stick with it and I'm not sure I even did it correctly.

As far as yesterday, I think the last nap was necessary, given our recent OT drama and when she fell asleep in the car I seized the opportunity to give her some sleep. However, I am concerned about the car becoming a prop....maybe I should wander over to the props board.

Also - last night she went down for the night at around 7 and woke up sometime between 10-11, again screaming. DH went in there and was able to calm her down without picking her up at all....he left while she was still wide awake (sitting up actually) and she settled down back to sleep within a few minutes and slept until 6:45am. I took that as a good sign. We also got a great first nap this morning and I'm really going to try hard for a good second one this afternoon.

So you're saying that at this age, 7 months, I should be able to put her in the crib wide awake and just leave? Is crying expected?

Also - questions about the first nap she took...she woke up sometime between 6:30 and 6:45 this morning. I put her down for her nap at 9:20 and she was sleeping by around 9:30. She woke up after 30 minutes, not screaming, but sitting up and starting to fuss. I ignored her for a few minutes but it was starting to escalate and I wanted to avoid her getting really riled up so I went in there. I changed her, held her for a bit and put her back down, again wide awake, and she slept for additional hour and a half. I was pleased with that nap, a combined 2 hours!!! BUT - I was I the prop in that case? I'm working to extend naps to get her to sleep longer but when do I become the prop? Is this a question for the props board?

[Ambinsi]

Just wanted to add, she went down for the second nap after another 2h45m - 3h A time and was up after 25 minutes. I left her in there and then went in to try to get her back down (again, concerned about ME becoming the prop), and it didn't work. Her fussing escalated into screaming once again and after half an hour of hysterics, we gave up and brought her outside. I think we'll have to try for a CN later.

What do you think should be my next step here...I feel like we take one step forward and two back. The screaming concerns me.....yet I feel like the rocking her to calm her is a prop. If I'm posting in wrong place, where should I take this?? It started out as an EASY issue but I think I'm getting a handle on the eating issues and now its sleep we're struggling with. Then again, when sleep is an issue it throws off everything else.

Sigh.

[Ambinsi]

I know I'm not supposed to post all over the place but I think I'm going to post this somewhere in the "sleep" section...I'm getting so desperate and its frustrating because I know its something I'm doing wrong. Thanks for all your help and keep any more advice coming! I do appreciate it so much.

[teilvnav]

Sounds good, Hun! I think you are on the right track.

[empowered mama]

So you're saying that at this age, 7 months, I should be able to put her in the crib wide awake and just leave? Is crying expected?

This is what you want to work towards if it hasn't happened yet.  Certainly you want to do a proper wind-down to help her relax, but I think too much rocking could become a prop.  The idea is to leave when they are settled and if they cry and it escalates into an "I need you cry" then you go back in to help resettle with PU/PD.

BUT - I was I the prop in that case? I'm working to extend naps to get her to sleep longer but when do I become the prop? Is this a question for the props board?

How did you help resettle her?  Did you just lay her down and stay with her, or was there rocking involved?  If there way, then I would say you were some type of prop, but you could definitely check in with the props board to get some extra clarification on that.

Just wanted to add, she went down for the second nap after another 2h45m - 3h A time and was up after 25 minutes.

My hunch is UT for that since she did not resettle and I say this because she had such a long first nap off 3 hrs A time and was likely really rested from the 2 hr nap.  You could even try to extend a bit more tomorrow (if she gets a decent 1st nap) and see what that gets you.

Then again, when sleep is an issue it throws off everything else.

I so know how you feel with this hun - we have been dealing with EWs and nap issues for months and months and it really is so hard sometimes.  Hang in there - I really think you're making progress

[Ambinsi]

I really do appreciate the encouragement....today was frustrating   Its so hit or miss right now.

As for becoming a prop myself, I think I picked her up and held her and might have possibly rocked her slightly for a minute. Once I could tell for sure she was still tired I immediately put her down and left.

My constant battle is what to do when she gets up after 30-40 mins. I know she's still tired and she does go back but I have to work to get her there. Is this normal? Should I try leaving her to see if she goes back without me? How long do I give her? I am so afraid of it leading to screaming and OT. And better yet is there anything I can do to prevent the waking?

[empowered mama]

Do you think there might be anything else going on?  Any reflux issues by chance?

[Ambinsi]

Someone else suggested that to me. After a few difficult feedings, I actually brought her in to the doc today to talk about that. He doesn't feel that its her reflux....he feels its managed, however instead of continuing to drop her meds, we're keeping everything as is right now to watch her. He told me to give it a few weeks and we'll revisit the reflux issue.

I honestly think that when she wakes after 30 minutes, I'm not handling it the right way. I have to be honest....PU/PD seems daunting and intimidating to me. I wish there were some way I could prevent the waking in the first place.

[empowered mama]

I wish there were some way I could prevent the waking in the first place.

I truly know that feeling.  I've always had that preventative mindset so as to not have to deal with the cries.  But I really think if you give PU/PD a go, you may have a lot of success in a fairly short amount of time.  The thing with inconsistency in how you respond is that it can send them mixed signals.  So if you combine some rocking with some PU/PD, then it is confusing to her.  Really it's best to pick one or the other.  Have you looked at the PU/PD boards at all?  There are a lot of links under FAQs that explain every detail on how to do it and plenty of mods who can hold your hand (and I too!)  It is hard, but really does pay off.

But keep an eye on that reflux too since that could be playing a factor.  You will get there hun!

[Ambinsi]

Have you personally had success with PU/PD? I will definitely check out those boards and I'm also curious about HTTJ....

My fear that is that I'll go in there to do PU/PD and it will escalate into screaming once she sees me and I'm just not sure how to handle it. But I guess I can wander over to that board and talk to people over there. I'll keep updating. Thanks so much!

[empowered mama]

Have you personally had success with PU/PD?

Oh yes and yes - many times over!  My LO adapted rather quickly with PU/PD - it only took maybe 2-3 days of consistency which was shocking because I thought I had the worst sleeper of all time!  We had to revisit it a few times when I got back into AP during teething and illness, but each time it worked like a charm!

My fear that is that I'll go in there to do PU/PD and it will escalate into screaming once she sees me and I'm just not sure how to handle it.

The BW method does not promise no crying - it does guarantee preserving the trust you have with your LO though.  By staying with her through the screaming, she will learn how to get to sleep on her own and not feel abandoned because you are there present the whole time.  It is hard to see your LO cry and get worked up.  But what helped me was to know that it was a frustrated, confused cry because things are different now.  Not a cry of being abandoned to figure it out on there own.  See what I mean here?

It is one of the most loving things because you never leave their side and eventually they will learn to get to sleep on their own.