Cutlery Battles

[Tweakster]

So Finn is becoming increasingly independent (if he could say 'me do it!' I am certain he would) and wants to eat with his own fork & spoon.  Fine, great, dandy.  Except that his skill level isn't up to par and he's often not getting it in his mouth, he turns the spoon backwards spilling on his clothes or dropping on the floor...to which he will have a massive crying fit and get seriously bent out of shape, exclaim 'oh no!' and end up throwing the cutlery on the floor and then crying even more lol  It's like a comedy of errors most meals as we try to find the best fit cutlery for him and try to get him to ask for help instead of exploding.  And forks flying around the room repeatedly.  He will almost never eat with his fingers anymore.

So this weekend we worked on the word 'help' for when he couldn't do something he wanted...and it worked a treat.  Well a treat might be a slight exaggeration but we had less meltdowns...

But for those occasions when he forgets, doesn't ask for help and has a meltdown...I'm not sure the best approach.  We normally tell him that the fork is 'gone' and we can't pick it up and he should eat with his fingers - logical consequences.  But he refuses and cries, and tries to get out of the chair to get his own fork.  It's a neverending game sometimes.  Should we be firm on that or give him this learning leeway?  I just don't want to have a habit of him throwing stuff and expecting that it gets picked up.  But I am trying to see it from his point of view and if I kept stabbing a piece of chicken that refused to get on my fork...well I would be ed too.  I may even throw it.

[Lolly]

We love cutlery here too . DD has been using forks and spoons for a long time now - big brother does it so she will as well. I found the baby cutlery just doesn't too the job, the fork tines are too thick to spear anything and keep it on so I found some children's cutlery in our local £ shop. It's a lot thinner so she can use it more easily, it's not terribly good quality but is doing the job for now!

Another thing we do is have 2 forks on the go so I will spear some food on one and put it down on her plate so she can pick it up herself, while she is using that I spear some thing else on the other fork and put that down for her to pick up and so on. It's a pain for me but keeps her going and when she is starting to get full she will slow down and do it more for herself but without the frustration of being hungry and not getting anything.

Using spoons just took practice really, again we often had more than one on the go at a time so I could load them for her. She went through a stage of loading the spoon herself and then turning it over on the way to her mouth, thankfully she's worked that one out! In the last couple of weeks she is able to eat a pot of yoghurt and things like soup with very little being spilled.

Laura

[Tweakster]

Another thing we do is have 2 forks on the go so I will spear some food on one and put it down on her plate so she can pick it up herself, while she is using that I spear some thing else on the other fork and put that down for her to pick up and so on. It's a pain for me but keeps her going and when she is starting to get full she will slow down and do it more for herself but without the frustration of being hungry and not getting anything.

That's a great idea!  So you can sneakily load up the food without them noticing that they are losing a bit of independence there hehe  I like it!  We are going to try that.  Also meals take FOREVER and that will speed it up.  I think he actually loses interest in eating when it isn't going well for him.  And he rarely finishes dinner even if he was hungry because he's had a big meltdown and isn't able to cope.

Yeah the kiddie forks were useless although I did just find a nice set by Nuby I think it was.  Anyway, better tines.  We also give him our smaller forks from our own cutlery set but it is really too long for him to handle well.  The spoon he is able to do his own yogurt pot too but often will drop some and have a conniption.  Ah well it's learning curve - what a skill we take for granted as adults hey!

[Lolly]

It must be a boy thing - my DS will often declare himself finished when I know he really means he's had enough sitting at the table. DD is also a lot more interested in food than he is, she wants to eat so has more motivation to get it in her mouth - can't think who she is taking after

Laura

[Yazzie]

Hey there Wendy, we're having similar scenarios here as well!

As Laura suggested I use two spoons @ meal times, one for me and one for Adam, and I'd use my spoon to put food in his, which he'd then try to put in his mouth, a hit or miss really, and in between I get to sneak a few spoonfuls into his mouth

I gave up on forks, whether baby forks or desert adult forks, as they didn't seem to work!

[koe2moe]

we were in the exact same situation a few months ago, probably the same age as Finn now or Adam's age.  Like Laura and Yazzie said, baby tools just don't WORK! especially the fork!  And DS just wanted ours.  Once DH put his fork down, he reached out and had his tiny meltdown and i always had to tell "no" otherwise DH would hand it over.   

What I tried:
1) told DS that I was just trying to help him and only hold the end of the spoon (to stablise it), so it got into the mouth and then cheered;
2) filled a second spoon like pp's
3) occasionally offered some spoonfuls from my plate (which is the same food)

anyways...  using yoghurt to practise with the spoon is really great!  Fork still doesn't get to DS's hand in this place yet   And suddenly about a month ago, he could feed himself completely almost without spilling, (except the times things just wouldn't stay on the spoon.) 

It's just a few weeks of practice, u will be amazed as to how well he has mastered the skills!    Also, try giving him spoon in bath or with playdoh or with sand, just keep practising

[Tweakster]

We did the two fork switch up at lunch, he's feeling poorly with an ear infection so really not hungry...but he did eat a whole plate of eggs and cheese (or cheesy scrambled eggs as we call them in our house)

Thanks for the tips!!!

[Lolly]

Yeah! Hope he gets better soon, I have a poorly not eating girl, she can't manage meals but did manage to eat the chocolate from her advent calendar .

Laura