8 mo hates solids and refuses to open her mouth :( I want to cry

[Brodster'sMommy]

My 8 mo DD refuses to open her mouth for solids. Like she actually purses her lips together as hard as she can when she sees a spoon coming toward her. I had the same problem with DS and so I'm really discouraged. I feel like crying every time I feed her. She loves her bottle - drinks 5-6oz about 6 times a day. I've tried holding off the bottle and feeding her solids but she'll keep her mouth shut. What am I doing wrong? How do I get to open her mouth? I dreaded feeding solids for this reason and feel like my nightmare is coming true - another eater like DS... ugh.

[babybarr]

Would she do BLW instead?  So give her a very squishy carrot to hold and feed herself?

[We Three]

That is really frustrating, but please try to remember, up until their first birthday, solids are more for experimentation and sensory experience than they are for nutrition. At this age, and until 12 months, her sole nutrition still will come from bm or formula.

Keep offering...give her things she can do herself....tiny cut up watermelon, toast soldiers, pasta elbows, stuff she can pick up and taste, feel, squish. 

All you can do is keep offering.....make it as stress free as possible....maybe put foods on her tray *while* you try to spoon feed her.  Or, dip the spoon and hand it to her.....??

[~inbalance~]

(((hugs))), I know it's frustrating but please try not to worry.  Have a look here:  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=182686.0

My DS2 is 7.5mos and will NOT be spoon fed.  We have been doing Baby Led Weaning, and while he's not super crazy about eating I can see that he is learning and getting there, and I feel so much more relaxed about the whole thing. 

[Brodster'sMommy]

Thanks for the encouragement and support ladies. I needed it. :/

I have heard about BLW but it makes me so nervous. Do I need to watch out for choking? That's what scares me. I panic when DS or DD seem like they are choking on food. I've been CPR trained but it still scares me. Tell me, is that something that happens a lot with BLW?

I will take a look at the links and keep trying solids. I guess I just wasn't blessed with good eaters

[Lolly]

Both mine had finger foods and puree from the get go and I can honestly say we have never had a choking incident. Yes they have had gaggging incidents when they have made themselves sick but it's all part of the learning. When they gag they are learning to protect their airways and as hard as it is to watch they do sort themselves out if you just let them. You have to stay calm so you don't panic them but they do cope.

I always gave mine big chunks - pieces they could hold in their hands and manipulate themselves. Tiny pieces scare me more than big chunks because they can't control them so easily. If they have the manual skills to pick things up and get them to their mouths then the theory is they have the oral skills to deal with them.

Laura

[mum101]

My DS simply refused me and DH feeding him in anyway!  So we end up going with BLW.

He was showing signs of not liking being spoon fed, but then a fortnight after starting solids we had to force feed him antibiotics for 2 weeks and then that ended any chance of us feeding him!

I stuck to finger foods.  I tried the mesh feeder thing and it was useless.  It was frustrating as things like yoghurt I had to wait until he was old enough to use a spoon, and he refused frozen yoghurt ice-creams. 

I worked around him, he needed to fatten up after becoming unwell at 12 months, so I used to simmer a steak, puree it with peas and add cheese, then squish it between bread and toast it. I then put it in the freezer and he LOVED to eat them frozen!  So it's quite hard to choke on something he needed to gnaw on to eat. He hardly gagged on anything TBH it just didn't seem an issue.

He still is more likely to refuse something, but his personality shines out now as easy-going... until he decides he's NOT going to do it, then all hell breaks loose!  So I'd say he was always going to be that way. My DD is the opposite - a complete foodie!

[Rose.]

Hi,

My son eats spoon fed food ok, especially cereals. We struggle to give veggies and fruit. What I have noticed, however, is how much better he eats if I'm eating at the same time. Have you tried eating alongside your baby?

[~inbalance~]

Hey hon.  I don't think you have bad eaters on your hands, they probably just have their own preferences and would prefer to have more control over what they eat.  BLW is particularly good for these kinds of babies.  It helps to keep in mind that gagging is a natural, protective mechanism that babies have, and is not the same thing of choking.  Babies gag reflexes are sensitive for a reason, but the more you let them try to eat on their own, the faster they learn how to safely move food around their mouths.  Actually, some people might argue that BLW is safer because the baby has control, you just have to trust them.  I know it's hard.  It's taken me awhile to feel comfortable with DS2's eating, but now he is almost 8mos and I can really see that he is learning how to chew and use his tongue to move food around his mouth.  These are things that babies don't get to learn when slurping puree off a spoon, and since they don't learn these skills they don't know how to eat safely and protect their airways.

Definitely don't try to continue spoon feeding if she will not have it.  It's stressful for both of you.  Take a step back and reassess your approach.  If you're unsure, maybe pick up the BLW book, it really explains everything wonderfully.  I guarantee that if you give her the opportunity to feed herself, you will both gain more confidence. 

Rest assured that choking is actually very rare, and you know what to do in the event.  Just follow common sense when it comes to safety - avoid choking sized foods (the size of a grape is prime choking size), and never leave your baby unattended when feeding.  When you give her foods and she gags, give her a minute and watch what she does - you can actually see that it's a normal reflux to move food away from the airway, and the more practice she gets the more she'll learn to maneuver food away from the airway.  It's really quite remarkable.  Don't panic, I assure you you will be more worried about any gagging incidents than she will be unless she sees you're scared.

Good luck. 

[NetMouse]

Our DD1 refused all solids until around 13 months. We were even admitted to the local hospital for observation, and suffered all kinds of unhelpful comments from the medical profession. (In the end, they discovered that she had egg, milk, fish etc allergies, and my theory is that she was protecting herself instictively). She finally started eating small bits of toast, sausage, pasta, cucumber etc, which we gradually increased, although she never would accept anything off a spoon. She is now a good and varied eater at four - although ironically now wants to be spoon fed when she's tired and can't be bothered to eat .

Like you, I was rather dreading weaning DD2 (now 7.5 months), as I had a feeling the same thing might be going to happen. In fact, she isn't at all keen on spoon feeding either. (We have recently had her tested and she has the same allergies, so at least we know what not to feed.) We are basically doing BLW and trying to keep feeding low key and fun, as the same approach as before obviously isn't going to work. She will usually sit up with the family at meal times and have a play with some finger foods. Some days now, she's started eating almost noticable amounts - and other days she's not very interested. My feeling is just not to stress over it (hard, I know). It's much more relaxing anyway, if you can give her food to play with at meal times - then you get a chance to eat your own food for a few mins at least! DD likes sitting at the table with everyone and smiles round and catches everybody's eye.

[ackee]

You have my sympathy too... it is so frustrating especially when you have made big effort to prepare food.... i then don;t get round to eating myself and end up eating baby puree she won;t touch most meals!!
My DD started out fine but is now very determined in her refusal. I found the thread about spoon refuseal/finger foods in FAQ helpful.
Good luck!

[Brodster'sMommy]

Thanks so much for all your replies! I have been working very hard with DD over the last few weeks and have made baby steps thanks to all your suggestions. I think BLW is the route for us atm. I'm a little nervous about it but I'm willing to try it - I'll do anything for my little girl

Crossing my fingers for success xx

[~inbalance~]

Good luck!! 

[zoem]

It seems like this issue is very common. My LO started doing thsi at 8 months too and it is so frustrating especially when you see other babies eat so well and also when you waste food - I hate that!! I found the best way round it, as everyone else is saying, was finger foods. You have to be very inventive!! Try cucumber sticks (just give the mushy inside bit till you get more confident of her not choking), dry fingers of toasts,banana, avocado, grated cheese(this was a real winner). I know someone above said the net mesh didnt work but I found it was great and my LO still loves it now (shes 12 months) - you can put hard and soft fruits in so it helps when you want to vary the food you offer. Also it helps you be moe comfortable that she won't choke. Its only about £5 so worth a try...