Hi AllyT

First I just want to say Grrrrrr to your doctor - I hate it when medical professionals give parents unrealistic expectations about night feeds and STTN in general, especially in breast fed babies who often need more frequent feeds. But bravo to you for realizing that breastfed babies still need those night feeds! Breastmilk is so easily digested that ebf babies often need night feeds for much longer than 4mo, and often move to a 3.5 and 4h EASY routine later than formula fed babies.
Re: the timing of your night feeds, I don't think that you're necessarily being unreasonable, but I think that your timing might be off.
There is a HUGE growth spurt right around 4mo. HUGE. This growth spurt is often when moms start to question their supply, because it feels like their baby wants to feed all the time. So if you're trying to regulate night feeds while he is in the middle of a growth spurt you're really being counterproductive, kwim? You might get him to settle briefly, only to have him awake again and again because he is actually hungry. Where if you just fed, you might wind up with a couple hours of solid sleep. Have you read
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=66001.0 ? Some information there you might find helpful.
Also, do you do a dream feed? I ask because when Dylan was 4mo, we were doing a dream feed plus often 2 night feeds. I don't remember exactly when he dropped the second night feed, but it wasn't until around the 5mo mark I think. So 2 feeds/night with no dream feed *might* not be enough, kwim?
I agree though that, growth spurts aside, it is not reasonable to be feeding a 4mo 4 times per night. If you want to restrict night feeds, rather than putting a specific "time" on it (like midnight, or 5am) I would put an "interval" on it. So if your lo is on a 3.5h routine during the day, he should be able to go 3.5h at night also. Assuming bedtime feed is 7pm, then I wouldn't feed before 1030 - if he wakes at 930 then work on settling another way, but if he wakes at 1025 then go ahead and feed, kwim? And then go for the next interval - if you fed at 11pm, then next feed wouldn't be before 230am. But I wouldn't even restrict like this during a growth spurt! It's important during growth spurts to feed on cue as that's your baby's way of increasing your milk supply to meet his needs.
Remember too that there are other reasons that he might be waking at night. OT, teething, too hot or cold, all can lead to nws. Here is an outside link too with ways to help reduce night wakings and nursing through the night:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.htmlLet me know what you think?