Hey Liz,
Huge {{{hugs}}} from me! Seems like you have a lot on atm with work starting soon and all.
I have to totally agree that you have been and are doing such a wonderful job with M and should be very proud of yourself!
I hope I'm not out of line here saying this
but to me it seems like you're giving yourself additional stress by putting pressure on yourself to change her feeding pattern. Fair enough, she's not doing a "perfect" EASY and you're right that there may be (now or on the future) some sleep association issues by feeding her right before sleep, BUT as you say she feeds well when sleepy before a nap, and then takes a good nap. Sleeps quite good at night for her age, sometimes very good. I'm thinking that maybe this is just what works for her
I may be wrong but just wanted to put these thoughts out there. If she was waking every time she was coming into light sleep needing BF back to sleep then I'd see the need to change things, but if what you're doing is working for her (and you) then IMO it is fine to do it this way. You're listening to her needs and what works best for her in the situation you're in, and that is true BWing anyway
All babies are different and have different needs as we know, and it really does sound like you've done the very best for little Megan and have followed her cues and have found a way to make things work, even with a crazy little toddler running round
Then again, if I'm wrong and you really do feel that there is a need to change this, I apologise for opening my big mouth.
I was also thinking that getting her on a bottle before you return to work is a big thing for you, and trying to do too much at once is maybe overwhelming you a little and that's why you feel so frustrated and stressed? Maybe you need to do a bit of prioritising and decide what is most important right now so you don't do your own head in too much sweetie. Perhaps it is more important to work on M taking a bottle and see if you could get a pumping regime going. Do you have a decent pump? I don't blame babies for refusing Neocate
so it is probably not going to be easy to get her on that and maybe worth working on the pumping instead? How about a galactagogue (if she can tolerate it?) to help with milk production and getting a few pumping sessions in? I know it's had with a toddler around but maybe you could try handsfree pumping? Then you could read to J at the same time.
Another thing to bear in mind is that once you are back at work some naps will naturally happen without you there and the BF to sleep will partially stop then anyway and things may work themselves out. It just seems there are so many changes coming up that things might change many times still without you having to 'fix' things. Again I do apologise if I've overstepped the line by saying these things but you helped me so SO much over on CRC when Sienna was a newborn, and I just felt I had to say this in case it does help you. I know how easy it can be to feel that you have to do things 'right' and it can sometimes make us focus too much on an issue cos we feel we have to do it 'the right way' (with routine etc.), but really you are doing so so well by the souds of it and I'd hate for you to feel more stress and worry than necessary
Saying that, I'm here with support and whatever help I can give, whatever you decide you want to do
PS. I like the sound of that BF protocol!
