Feeding a 3 year old

[anna*]

We're really blessed with a 'good eater' - during his picky stages I KNOW how incredibly stressful and frustrating it is, so my hugs are for all mums dealing with non-eating toddlers. Stan will eat most things - if he is reluctant to taste, I can usually persuade him to do so, and he usually likes it.

But, I do still find myself shovelling food into his mouth at times. Often at meal times he is 'all finished' when he's only eaten a little bit. I KNOW that this is because he wants to go and play, NOT because he is fully up (this will happen after only a bite or two). Also, he will say 'I've had enough' but if encouraged/cajoled/bribed he will eat LOADS more AND a dessert AND a piece of fruit - so it's not that he's not hungry.

So then I start doing the 'OK, 3 more big bites' thing. Or 'there is some yoghurt for dessert for everyone who eats their supper.' That kind of thing. Sometimes I think he just wants me to shovel the food in for him, because it's quicker and easier that way.

I know I should just leave it. Is that what I should do? If he eats two bites and then says he's finished, do I leave it at that? Do I give him the yoghurt anyway (Unconditional Parenting would say I should)?

[Mum-of-Two]

I base what my kids eat on a whole day.  Sometimes I know they've had a big lunch so they will have less at dinner and visa versa.  Should I think they really need the food or will be hungry (aka cranky), say, early morning or middle of the night... oh my baby habits die hard... I will do the 3-5 more bites thing.  I don't ever make them finishe their plate or eat the same 3-5 bites every time, I weigh all the external factors first, no hard and fast rules because some days they may not be hungry.

At 2 years old I found my DD would eat better on the run, finding that to be true for her brother as well.  I sort of just know at this age its not a battle I want to have so I'll put the food out and if DS wants to run a lap around the kitchen table after each bite... well... OK.  But I have picky eaters so its a bigger deal for me I think to get food in them any way I can.

At 3 we brought DD back to the table and she is a SLOW eater.  So for her, if it helps to help her shovel it in... well, we'll do it.  Or we find ourselves in an argument or sitting and waiting for her to finish for an hour!  Selfish of us I suppose.  But we certainly wait until our meals are finished before offering to help her finish hers.

We *have* said no desert for those who do not eat their supper -- but again, there are no hard and fast rules here.  Every situation is weighed individually.

Not really an answer but hope it helps to know other households go through the same 

[anna*]

(((hugs))) thank you I am glad it is not just me! Every time I raise a forkful of food to his mouth I am thinking 'What am I doing? Why am I feeding this child?'. It's like you said though, it's either that or sit for flippin' hours at table, and really, who wants that  

[Roseii]

Anna I am guilty of this too, DD1 keeps telling me, after 2 mouth-fulls, in a jolly way "All finished!" I find myself saying "Shall I help you?" to which she usually says yes and I end up feeding her

[anna*]

LOL Charli that reminded me of this morning, Stan had a cup of orange juice, Brad asked (hoping he could finish it off), 'that's a big cup of juice, do you want me to help you finish it?' Stan said yes, but got Brad to hold the cup up to his lips while he finished drinking it heeehehehe

[Lolly]

We are doing the same things as most of you with my just turned 4yo too! He is another "finished now" after 2 mouthfuls, especially if it's a tea that didn't meet his expectations . Like others have said, if he's had a good lunch and healthy snacks I don't fuss too much. If he's not eaten much we do the 3 more mouthfuls or we move a portion apart on his plate to get him to eat that bit. We also do feed him, amazing how much more he will eat that way. I think some days he is just too tired to be bothered to eat.

I am guilty of the "no pudding" line, but generally make it so he can have his yoghurt (at least it has some nutrition ). DD often likes to eat her yoghurt and then go back to eat a bit more of her mains .

The only problem I have now is that it was much easier to get him to eat x number of mouthfuls before he learned how to count - I can't fool him into eating more these days

Laura

[Mum-of-Two]

I am guilty of the "no pudding" line, but generally make it so he can have his yoghurt (at least it has some nutrition ). DD often likes to eat her yoghurt and then go back to eat a bit more of her mains .

The only problem I have now is that it was much easier to get him to eat x number of mouthfuls before he learned how to count - I can't fool him into eating more these days

Laura

I can totally relate to this only with DD for a short time she didn't realize 3 was more then 1 so we would sometimes say "one more bite" and almost like a game she would top us and say "how about 3?"  Uh, OK!  LOL

I also find with the little one if I sometimes just give in to that one thing he is obsessed with having he will come back to his main foods too.  That one is a fine line though...

[Roseii]

LOL Anna! Not the kind of help he was offering
I try the one more mouthful line too, which I hate doing as I so clearly remember my mum doing it to me

xx

[jordiwes]

Tagging along with my skinny almost three year old. She eats better on the run, but sometimes I feel like I'm raising a little wild animal rather than a girl. So I make her sit at the table.
We play games like "eeny meeny miny moe", we do 3 more bites, but it's really hard to get her to eat more than a few bites.