when did you "lighten up."

[okinawamama]

I was over at my family members home and we were late leaving. The last 15 minutes with family and the entire drive home I  was a stress case about our late bedtime. After I put him to bed I started to wonder at what point do you lighten up with sleep? When I began my BW journey I never would have thought that almost 2yrs later Id still be stressing so much.

So, when did you lighten up?

[aimeeL]

Hmmmm... good question.  I think for me, it was this past summer - so DD was 20-22 months.  We went through a string of EWs and such, but then we moved in mid July, and somehow, hit our stride.  L's sleep habits became a little more "grown up", so to speak.. as in - if she EWed one morning, she'd ask for an earlier bedtime.  Or if she had a late morning, she'd shorten her nap on her own.  Things that naturally just made sense, but that I didn't necessarily have to dictate.  So I'm a lot less concerned now about her day sleep and night sleep... sometimes she has short nights, sometimes she doesn't... but it all seems to even out in the end.  Because of the holidays and travelling and such, we've had several "odd" days/nights - a 15 min nap, 2-3 hr NW because of a redeye we took, etc, etc... and it didn't result in much more than an earlier bedtime or nap. 

So for me - it was really a result of *her*, if that makes any sense.  If I had a toddler who was still really having a hard time with regulating sleep - EWs or NWs or whatever - and it was affecting his/her sleep, then I probably would still be stressing quite a bit...

[georgeo]

aimeeL did DD's change in sleep habits coincide with all of her teeth being through? 

[*Liz*]

J started to self regulate more at about 22 mths as well.

And that was before he finished his molars. I think I started to watch him more as well and listen when he said he was tired rather than be so rigid about his routine. I was also busy with D D and finally accepted that every EW J did was not MY issue to control - it is just the way my spirited boy is wired.

I'm pretty sure most 2 year olds can handle a bedtime 15 mins late 

[consmummy]

With  DS1 I don't think I ever lightened up till he was about 4! He was high sleep needs though.

With DS2 we've had to be more flexible. At home bedtime is bedtime but on holiday at 14mths he handled going to bed a good 1-1.5 hours later than normal just fine. We only kept him up so we could all go out for dinner together at 7-7.30.

But then every child is different. We tried to keep DS1 up on holiday at 2yrs old and NO WAY. By his bedtime he was screaming in his pushchair, desperate to go to bed.

[skatty]

Leorah was 4 in October and only now can we have the odd night where she can go to be a bit later, 2 nights of too little sleep and she is still a wreck 

[koe2moe]

I still stress out at 25 mo because I'm still always tired (health isn't good due to long sleep-deprivation, etc etc).  But sometimes when I want to do stuff which means late bedtime, I can handle it better because it's my choice and I know what to expect and how to handle it pretty much.  I just get stressed when it's visiting IL's despite my protests and DH's promises to *leave* on time that get me super upset because I handle all NWs.   

[~Emma~]

Probably at about 20-22 months too. DS is very prone to OT but also quite good at self regulating his sleep and like Liz says there ain't much I can do about an EW these days. It is what it is! Some days DS has no nap and some days he has a 3 hour nap, he still really needs a nap but it doesn't dictate us anymore. If we want to do something of a day then we sacrifice and pay the price at 5pm when he's melting down! I make it up the next day if I can/he will.

 We have done a couple of parties and late bbq's the past few months and he has been fine. He wont melt down with a late bedtime if he's had a nap and people are there to amuse him. He's like the duracell bunny....just keeps going! We went to a party a coupoe of months back and he stayed u until 10.30pm!  Never thought I'd see the day I'd be doing that!

 Also the birth of number 2, I just dont have the time to stress about his sleep anymore as I'm usually stressing about hers!! 

[okinawamama]

Sounds like now would be the perfect time to lighten up a little....my LO is 22 months.

You're so right on the EW, there is only so much I can do! Having said that, he went down at 830, and was up at 555 this morning. Ugh. an hour+ earlier.

[twogirlsmommy]

I was just wondering the same thing and we are 18 months old. Good to know that around the 2 year mark most seem to sort themselves out.

[~inbalance~]

It sounds like something that depends a lot on the personality of your LO.  I guess it was around 20-22mos for us too.  Especially around the time T started to be able to communicate his needs more.  But I have to say we are lucky in that respect.  He is textbook and very easy going with sleep.  It's been a long time since a late bedtime = EW for us, so that helps me not stress so much.

But TBH, the little niggle is always still there when he is late going to bed.  It's hard to switch it off, even though I know it's fine now!   

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

With Masyn it was never an issue, she was such an easy kid in regards to sleep (about the only angelic part of her!!) Even as a small baby a bit late of a night never had repercussions.  With Spencer though, miss touchy, it has just been in the last 6 months or so that I've been able to not worry about the odd late night - infact on Xmas eve they didn't get into bed until 10:30!!

[Tweakster]

Some days I'm light as a feather...others not so much.  It depends on my tolerance for the behaviour that comes with OT.  But we still stick to routine around here otherwise we end up with all sorts of weird stuff going on.  So we're not relaxed yet.  Maybe after the tubes surgery and teeth are finally through.  We'll see lol

[~Emma~]

It depends on my tolerance for the behaviour that comes with OT. 

 This here too. When he's a mess and really tired I wouldn't thnk about messing with things!

[Tweakster]

If I'm honest DH and I still hold our breath whilst staring at the monitor until we hear quiet lol  Then we get on with our own business.  This goes for nap and night.  He's just so unpredictable that we have always been on edge with his sleep.  We don't have the monitor on at night now and since the Gro-clock, we don't worry about EW really anymore.  At least we try not to.  If we start getting less than 10 hrs we do try to intervene and figure out the routine but otherwise, we just try to ignore him until Mr. Sunshine is on.

When did you guys ditch the monitor full stop?  It's a crutch for us...probably have to pry it out of my hands one day.  It feels like some sort of control over a situation we have no control over...IYSWIM.  I know, it's crazy talk right? lol