A times vs. set nap/bed times

[B J]

Just wondering at what age you went with set sleep times instead of obsessing over A times?

My DD is approaching 19 months and I feel like he still has no consistency with his night sleep/wake times.

We had about a week and a half at the beginning of January where I thought we had finally reached a turning point, and we had a nice routine going:

Wake 7:30
Nap 1:00 – 3:00
Asleep 8:00ish

Well that didn’t last long and we are back to EW (as early as 5:30 onwards)  Sometimes he’ll wake up and he rolls around, babbles and may fall back asleep.  Other days he sounds very awake.  We leave him unless he is crying really hard.

I move up nap time and BT when he has EW, but I don’t feel like it helps him.  Sometimes we get longer nights 11 hours +, sometimes short nights of 10 hours.  I never know when he will wake up in the morning.

We’ve been experiencing NWs lately too.  But they are usually short and we go in and give him his sippy with water and leave.

Could it be teeth?  He has all his teeth except for the 2 year molars.  Although it looks like the top molars are out but not all the way down.

I am thinking of just going with a set nap time and BT but I’m worried if I push him too hard he’ll get OT.

On top of this he’s developed SA at nap and bed time too.  We used to be able to just put him down and leave.  Now he cries if we leave.  Although some days he’s fine.  It’s hit and miss.  I think for the SA we’ll have to start GW.

But with sleep in general, I am tired of trying to figure him out and tweaking and nothing works.  I just don’t know where to go from here and I’ve reached a breaking point!  Sigh….

[Shiv52]

From we switched to one nap we've always done set nap time (give or take 10-20 minutes) and set bedtime. Worked much better here than constant tweaking. Teeth Definately could be the issue too. Molars causing havoc here at the minute too.

[anna*]

We went to set times at about 9 months, worked great for us.

[okinawamama]

we went to a set nap time/bed time ( give or take 30min) around a year and I wish we would have done it long before then. The constant tweaking really didn't yield good results for us and I wish I would have at least give the set times a shot. I say go for it, give it at least two weeks and see if things start to settle down!

[Grace's Mummy]

Once our DD went on to one proper nap, we did set nap times - give or take half an hour. She has had a set bedtime for months, although if she has a bad day or is exhausted, I will put her down a bit earlier.

The set naps works brilliantly and much better than guessing times. It never really worked well for us either!

I take her out for a walk and a 10 min nap around 9 am to get her through until 12.15 or so. Your LO is a bit older so maybe wouldn't need that.

Any change or adaptation to the routine takes at least two weeks to show any results. sometimes even three.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[B J]

Thanks everyone.  I'm going to go with the set nap and bed times.  It doesn't hurt to try at this point!

The only challenge will be trying to turn off that automatic A time calculator that has been programmed in my head...

[sparrow]

I know this is an old post but BJ if you're still out there... wondering how it's going with set nap times?  Tweaking and A time obsession is really not working for us. Lo is 16 months and I'm seriously considering one set nap.  I just worry OT will set in before the 2 or 3 week adjustment period settles everything.

[sianie]

Set nap times can help to regulate your LO's bodyclock so after a few days you should she a more predictable pattern emerging with their sleep.

You're right it can take a few days or so for them to adjust & I would do an earlier BT to compensate. 

[B J]

Hello!  I'm still here.  I haven't made much progress yet.

I tried set nap and BT for 3 days but I think OT started setting in so I stopped because I was also battling sleep refusal so it was making his A times extra long.  I was aiming for 12:00 nap, 7:30 BT.  The first day he napped 3 hours, then 2 hours the next day, and only 1h 20m the third day.  So I think he was OT.  We now have the sleep refusal under control and he's gone back to sleeping independently so I think I will give the set nap times a try again after the weekend.  We have some family dinners this weekend so he we may have some later nights and OT to deal with.

The problem I have with the set nap time is that his wake up time can vary from 5:30 to 7:30.  Sometimes he'll wake up at 5:30 or 6:00, and chat for an hour and then fall back asleep.  When he has a later wake up day, he may not be tired for his nap at 12:00. 

Do you stick with the set nap time even if it's a shorter A time than usual?  (Here I go again looking at A times...)

[danacarrie]

Just thought I'd jump in since we have LO the same age and I am having a rough go, too! (See "18 month old sleep is all over the place").
I am experimenting with set nap and BT as well.  This is the 4th day and so far, I am doing ok.  DD schedule is this:
7:15 wake
12:30-1:40ish nap
7pm bedtime (she falls asleep by 7:30). 
She has always been on the lower end of sleep needs and also never been a good napper, so I'm not too worried about OT.  However, last night she had 3 NW (9:15, 10pm, and 2:30am) and I'm wondering if they are OT related after a few days of 13 hours of sleep.  I have committed to doing this for a week so I will reevaluate then.
Good luck!

[sianie]

Hi

PP is right, you do need to give it a week for your LO to adjust to the new routine.

I would also think about waking him at 7am if he's not already awake to keep your day on track.

Yes you generally do stick with the set nap time even if it's a shorter or longer A before. Ideally your LO will adjust to that set time & will naturally start getting sleepy around that time. If he has woken early then you could pull the nap forward by 15 mins (not I wouldn't do anymore than that).

[sparrow]

Thanks for the replies. We're on day 3.  She did 1.75 hour nap the first day (excellent for her), 45 min the next day, so we'll see how today goes.  I was worried her night would be affected but the good news is she's sleeping 11.5 hours at night which is miraculous!  (She was doing 9.5 to 10.5 hours)

We've been aiming for 12:15 nap, 7:30 BT.  Oh if this works life will be so much easier!

[sianie]

Sounds like things are going well...FX!

[Grace's Mummy]

Just wondering how things are going with the set nap and bedtime?

[sparrow]

It's worked wonders for us over here.  Been about 10 days of one nap now.  Her naps were 45 mins to an hour long up until 2 days ago but nights were great.  I realized she needs at the very minimum 5.5 hours A.  Yesterday she ended up getting 6 hours A and she napped for 2.5 hours for the first time in her life.  So we *are* trying to get a set nap time, I'm just finding that it needs to be more like 1:00 instead of 12:00.  Nights are now 11.5-12 hours, and STTN.  Needless to say it was the best decision and we're all feeling so rested for the first time in aaaaages.  Hope everyone else is doing well!