Author Topic: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time  (Read 1289 times)

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Offline B J

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19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« on: January 28, 2011, 17:42:23 pm »
Help!  I don't know if it's just SA or the 18 month sleep regression.  DD used to be an independent sleeper but a month ago he started crying at nap and bed time.  At first it was hit and miss and some days he would go to sleep without a fight.  Now it's gotten worse and we need to stay with him for him to calm down and go to sleep.

We've started GW this week but it is taking an hour for him to get to sleep.  He stands up and cries.  We keep repeating our sleep phrase to him and eventually he lies down and goes to sleep.

Today's nap was the worst so far.   I sat in his room but he was crying so hysterically that I had to pick him up and hold him until he calmed down. Then he fell asleep in my arms and I was able to put him in his crib.  That doesn't usually happen.

For wind down we usually sit and read books for 10 min.  Now he is refusing to do that too and just wants to get up and move around.  When we tell him it's time to sleep and try to put on his sleep bag he puts up a fight and says "no".

Not sure what else I can do?  Just keep at it with the GW?

Offline Tweakster

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2011, 18:09:00 pm »
For a toddler to resist bedtime that much I would say he's OT or UT.  What does his day look like?  Can you skip the books and change up his bedtime wind down a bit? 
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Offline becky1969

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2011, 18:55:15 pm »
My guess: TEEEETH!!!!!!  This is prime time for those teeth to be popping, in, esp. canines.  Not only is it uncomfortable for them, which makes it difficult to sleep, but they often become more tired than normal.

Usually trying nap and bedtime 30 minutes earlier than normal with medicine on board does the trick!
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Offline B J

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2011, 19:10:09 pm »
His wake up times vary widely (which is a whole other issue I'm trying to figure out) so I've been going by A times.  So his day is:

A - 5.5 h
Nap - 2 h
A 5 h

Three days ago I started trying set nap/bed times to try and regulate his day but it's been hard because he's resisting bed time which is making his last A too long.

When the crying first started a month ago I thought it was because he was OT that day or because he had been sick and had developed some SA.  But it's continued so I didn't know if it's developmental.

He's already got his canines.  They actually came in before he got his 1st molars.  LOL.  Could it be the 2nd year molars lurking?  I've been thinking about medicating before bed too just in case.

I can certainly ditch the books but I don't know what to do to wind him down.  He still wants to play after his bath.  He asks to watch garbage trucks on You Tube after his bath (LOL) but I worry that it's too stimulating. 

Before we started having bed time problems, he would lie in his crib for half an hour chatting before he falls asleep.  He's always been like this.  I tried shorter and longer A times, but he always needs half and hour to process his day I think.  So I have to down a half hour earlier than when I want him to be asleep.  And with his bed time refusal, putting him down early is even harder.

Offline Tweakster

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2011, 20:37:42 pm »
Could it be the 2nd year molars lurking?

Oh yes.  Ours started moving at 17/18 mths.  He's just finishing the final 2 at 22+ mths.

We do TV before bed and it hasn't affected anything for us either way.  In fact it tends to zone him out and actually get him to sit down, which is a hard feat.  It really depends on the kid I think, and what they are watching, and for how long...

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Offline becky1969

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2011, 00:36:58 am »
I tell you, 5.5 and 5 hours sounds too long for this age, particularly if teeth may be involved.  At that age, most are doing closer to 4.5-5 hours.  I think I might shrink that 1st A time to 5 hours and see what happens.  And absolutely experiment with some Motrin -- one dose before nap ought to give you some info.

I would be careful with wind down at this age.  as PP said, TV depends on the kiddo.  For my kid ANY kind of TV show was too stimulating.  He's a touchy/textbook bub.  (you might take the toddler quiz at this point if its been a few months since you've done so -- now you might get a different personality type!).  What we did at 18 months was keep wind down to about 15-20 minutes.  We would say night-night to things/objects in our house and out the window as we made our way to bed.  We had to do baths much earlier in the day b/c a bath would get him overstimulated as well.  Then it was jammies and stories in his rocker.  My son still had a night time bottle at that age, so we had bottle while reading.  Then we would turn out the lights and sing 2 songs while in the rocker.  At that point he'd be pretty relaxed and into the crib he'd go!

If you do books, I'd keep it to 2-3 short board books.  That's usually enough to get LO relaxed, but not so many that they get restless.
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Offline B J

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2011, 02:00:56 am »
I gave him ibuprofen before bed time and I think it helped!  I was able to leave his room without him crying or standing up.  He babbled for a long time and let out a few cries, but they weren't I need you cries.  I did have to go in and give him his sippy with water as he asked for it but I didn't have to stay in his room or sit outside his door.  Yeah!   He did take a long time to fall asleep though.  Tomorrow I will try shortening his A times.

I know the molars are going to take a real long time before they surface, how long am I going to have to medicate for?!!!! months???

Offline B J

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2011, 19:32:13 pm »
Nap time today was a bust.  We gave him meds an hour before his nap and tried to put him down earlier.  He started crying right away and standing in his crib.  DH stayed in his room and told him to lie down and go to sleep.  Then he started throwing his lovies out of the crib and wanted out.  It was clear that he was not going to lie down and sleep so we took him out and sat in his room for a while. Then he wanted to look at books so we did that for a while and tried to put him back in his crib.  The crying and standing up started again.  So out he came again and DH tried to hold him and rock him to sleep.  He wanted mommy so he sat with me for a bit and he eventually lied down in my arms and I sang lullibies and he finally fell asleep.  This took over an hour and by the time he was asleep we were at 6h 30 m A time! 

It's like he doesn't want to nap because he's too busy playing and doesn't want to miss out.  He is tired though because he will rub his eyes or yawn.

I feel like there's more to it than teeth.  I don't have patience for the crying and sleep refusal.  Even if we stay in his room he doesn't calm down.

He didn't fall asleep until 2:10 so I don't know how long I should let him nap now. I'd like a break but usually we don't let him sleep past 3:00 so that bed time doesn't run too late.

Offline becky1969

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Re: 19 mo refusing nap & bed time
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2011, 17:28:48 pm »
Since you're battling teeth (meds did seem to help a bit before!), then I'd let him sleep a full 2 hours and keep bedtime the same.  chances are that will help.


You may need to revamp your wind down before nap.  Make sure he has a CLEAR break between playing and sleepy time.  you want to really slow him down during wind down; make things quiet and calm, and pretty dark.  15 minutes of that and little dude should start to be able to break off from playing.

It also may be that you *still* hadn't gone early enough.  Those behaviors sounded OT right from the get go.
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

Enjoying the toddler years!