So confused....what is going on?

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

I have a lot of things going on and I have no idea what to make of them...

I will try to be as short as possible.

1. DD is doing NW and I really don't think she wants to eat. She can sleep 12 hours (has done it) and 8-10 often. Yet lately (few days) she is waking after 4 / 5 hours and crying out for me. She is 3 mths and 3 weeks. Is she looking for a snuggle? I read in TBWSAYP that if she is on the wrong EASY - that could be a reason for random night wakings. I don't understand the correlation but right now she is still on a 3 hour easy since her A time at best is 1hr 10 mins. Should I move to 3.5 / 4 hr easy? If so - what is the best way to transition...just do it? At first I fed her at the random times thinking growth spurt but now I am not sure. (My first daughter was so textbook that it was so obvious when to transition. I am not used to this crazy baby!)

2. She has been going to be on her own for about a month... all of a sudden she can't / won't do it? Again - is this a snuggle / cuddle thing? She now knows I am there and wants me? I used to feed her before bed and she would get really sleepy but she would always be awake when I put her in. She would always suck her hands or use a paci and pretty much go to sleep. Once in a while we would replace the paci... now she won't go back unless I let her suckle again. I know I shouldn't do that but I wasn't sure what was going on.

3. Should I do PU/PD for these two scenarios above? I don't know how - what are the specifics? I am going to have to do it for naps soon since she does them all in the swing. She had / has reflux and could never manage a crib nap once she turned 5 weeks. I tried but the swing was the only solution for me and my family to have some order.

Any thoughts on her NW / EASY. I would love to know that I was overnapping and could cut out that damn forth nap. (catnap) Oh - that is another story - she refused it (even in the swing) the last two days even though I know she was tired.

No idea what to do or where to start. Any thoughts would be great.

thanks!!!

[*Liz*]

You need to slowly extend her A time as she is going to be starting to get BWings from too much day sleep. Go 5 mins at a time if she is super sensitive.

No PUPD for LOs under 4 mths - it is too stimulating. Shh/ptt is what you would use. Plus PUPD is often bad with reflux as it sloshes their tummy about too much.

I think the fact you are using props is what is making her As seem shorter than they would be if she was sleeping alone.

As the A extends the feeds will naturally, so you often don't need to force a transition. The process starts as A times go over 1.5hrs.

HTH

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

Thanks for the message. I am following her cues and her A time really is maxed out. She did 1 hr 15 this morning (although I don't know how long she was awake in her crib before she called me so maybe it is more). I can't do Shh / pat. I need to train her to sleep in the crib and it doesn't work to extend her. She is almost 4 months and I am going to wait one more week and then try PU/PD. Her reflux is under control at this point. Why does the prop make it seem like her A time is short? Because you count the 20 mins that they are trying to get to sleep? You are right - I guess I don't count the time it take for her to fall asleep cause she just goes in the swing and falls asleep.

I am not trying to force a transition... but I thought that she might be having those NW because I have not changed her EASY. DD1 just led me... DD2 seems to be all over the place. Never really consistently sleeping through the night... unless you count 8 hrs... cause she does that most of the time.

What are your thoughts as far as trying a 3.5 hour easy? She hasn't done the 4th nap in days anyway so I wouldn't even be cutting a feeding. She only does 5 now to begin with.

[KathrynK]

I was going to say she needs a 3.5hr EASY! With my dd it was easy (ha ha ) she was a total angel and went from 3hr to 4hr herself in the blink of an eye. Alex was (and is) textbook but it was complicated by reflux and I found him a much more challenging baby, no cues ever etc etc.
The only sign I ever knew he was ready to transition to longer A and less sleep was when I started getting random NWs and also sometimes he stopped going to sleep by himself so easily- in hindsight he just wasn't tired enough. I had to make the transitions for him every single time, he never did it himself.
I think here you have to push to 3.5hrs and see what happens. Do you think she will handle the increase in A time or does she get OT easily?
xx

[Leia and Sabrina's Mom - Jessica]

The only sign I ever knew he was ready to transition to longer A and less sleep was when I started getting random NWs and also sometimes he stopped going to sleep by himself so easily- in hindsight he just wasn't tired enough.

That is exactly what DD is doing! Last three days all of a sudden won't go to bed by herself, random wake ups and she has been rejecting feedings here and there. Since she has booted the catnap the last two days. I think that the 3.5 EASY should be fine. Like I said - she only does 5 feedings anyway and one is right before bed and she usually blows this one off with a very small feeding. I think I may do much better with the 3.5 EASY. She gets up at 7:30 every morning so I think that my next feeding will be at 11. Although this morning we did meds and a few kisses and I didn't get to feed her until around 8. (She also did a 5am wake up so I knew she might not be hungry for the 7:30.) I am going to have to work around that a bit until I get the situation fixed... but at least I will do 3.5 for the rest of the day.

I was going to say she needs a 3.5hr EASY! With my dd it was easy (ha ha ) she was a total angel and went from 3hr to 4hr herself in the blink of an eye.

My DD1 was SO EASY (LOL) too. She would transition and then I would freak out that she was doing something wrong. Then I would read the book only to realize that she was doing exactly what she was supposed to. With her - I never read the book in much detail cause she was SO perfect. It's funny how you forget that you need to change things JUST when you get the routine right. Would you believe I FORGOT that they eventually transition to a 4 hour? I mean - did I think she was going to eat every three hours and have solid food in two months? I was excited when I remembered that they stop eating so much. She became a three month old SO fast... I really wasn't keeping up with her. the first three months is such a whirlwind!

Do you think she will handle the increase in A time or does she get OT easily?

This I am not sure of. I think that you are right... she gets more A time than I think because of the 20 min sleep that she doesn't have to go through since i am using a prop. I am not sure. This morning she was up from around 7:30 - 9. I think... She does get OT but I don't usually have to deal with the repercussions bec. she goes into the swing. It isn't the same as trying to get an OT baby down for a nap without a prop. The prop usually handles the OT. YKWIM? Of course I was so in tune with DD1 that she never was OT. But if she was - look out. She cried at you until you put her in the bed. Forget it if you took too long to get the sleep sack on!

My next plan is to wait another week or two and then try the plan that Tracy spells out in TBWSAYP on how to get a 4 month old on EASY. DD is on EASY - her naps just are not indep.  I am going to use the plan to get her off the swing. I KNOW she can indep sleep because she sleeps for 8-12 hr stretches at night. She also goes down and does some mantra stuff but goes off the sleep by herself. I have to do PU/PD cause patting annoys her. (and me). What do you think?

Thanks again.