16-month old routine!?!?

[Nicolo12]

I don't even know where to start. I have lots of concern and questions. I am beginning to feel pretty desperate for routine and sanity at this point. I need advice so badly!

My son turned 16 months today actually. I'll admit I haven't been successful or all that consistent at keeping a routine with him. I would try, then he would resist and resist, and or get sick and throw things off track. It's just never worked for me. But I am feeling pretty desperate for some sanity and also some "me" time.

Our days vary SO much. Here is an average day.
Wake at 9am. He cries until he gets a bottle. I'd like to feed him breakfast when he first wakes, but he won't eat, he just wants a bottle
Usually play until nap time. However, this is my most stressful, unhappy time b/c he is most unhappy in the morning and will be SO needy! he usually won't let me get anything done and most definitely hates it when I sit at the computer and I am not giving him attention or holding him. He is hard to please in the morning!
Naptime is always different, but I will count 4 hours from when he woke and put him to bed. (half the time he won't fall asleep, sometimes he will and won't fall asleep forever.) he always sleeps a different amount of time 45 min-2 hours, etc. It's always different.
Wake from nap, then lunch, then play.
I haven't been giving him a second nap, but I haven't been sure if he needs another. Sometimes it seems he isn't tired at night if he has 2 naps, but I'm not sure if it's b/c his 2nd nap was too late.
We don't have a night time routine. But it involves dinner, sometimes a bath if I'm not completely exhausted yet, bed. Bed is anywhere from 9pm - later.

I'd like to get him to bed earlier so he can wake at more like 8am (or even 8:30) ideally.

First off I'm not sure how much approximate night sleep-time and nap-time I should expect a 16 month old to get.
Are there some 16-month old EASY routines I can look at? (I wasn't sure where to find them).
He'll usually resist nap-time and sometimes he'll cry when I put him to bed at night. How do I know if he is tired enough? What to do if a 16 month old resists nap/bed time?
When you get a routine going, and they usually wake up at 8am, but one morning they wake up at 7 (or whatever time), do you go off of your normal nap-time schedule or go off of the 7am time and change everything for the day?
Night wakings. Is it normal at all for a 16 month old? Much of the time he'll be ok, but maybe 1/4 of the time he'll wake and only want a bottle of milk. He won't stop unless he gets it.
And any advice for weening and child off of the bottle? He is VERY attached and I want him to focus more on getting nutrients from his meal time.
Is there a place that all of the acronyms are listed with the definitions.  As I have read through, I am so confused at all the jargon!
(Sorry I have SO many questions!!!)

[sianie]

Hi there!

Sorry you're finding things difficult! It definitely sounds like you need to get some consistency to your days so that your LO can get the sleep he needs & you also get a break. LO's thrive on routine & consistency so I think this is a good place to start!

The link below has info on typical amounts of sleep at different ages. Usually by 16 mths most LO's have or are transitioning to 1 nap a day (usually around 2hrs at lunchtime)

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85137.0

Also, have a look at these sample EASY routines that may help you.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164033.0

Ideally you need to aim for around a 12hr day e.g. wake-up around 7am-ish to bedtime around 7pm-ish. Are you watching for his tired cues so that you aim to put him down as he's starting to get tired?

Crying at naptime/BT & NW's could mean he's OT (overtired), also if he is still having milk feeds at night then this could have become a habit as if he's eating well during the day he shouldn't need to be fed at night at his age.

Click the below link for explanation of the abbreviations on the site!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=171589.0

Have a read through the links I've attached to see if they make sense then come back to me with any questions before we start to try & pull a routine together! 

[afeswick]

Sian did a great job of answering a lot of your Q's!  I am still battling the night bottle too, and I think we all constantly have to tweak our LO's routines.  Throw in teething, illness, etc. and it can be quite the uphill battle.  But I think once you get some routine you'll be less stressed (and your LO too) because you'll both know what to expect (roughly).

My advice (ad I won't give too much because I'm struggling with my 15month old's sleeping routine so I feel like I'm not the best person to talk to, lol) is to change ONE thing at a time.....its easier on your LO and you can evaluate whether that change is working.  I will leave it to the more experienced BW to help you figure out that first step.

Good luck!

[Nicolo12]

Thanks for your responses! I've looked over the links and they were very helpful. They give me more of an idea of what I should be aiming for in his day and sort of what to expect roughly.

This morning he woke at 9, cried until he was given a bottle (7oz. this morning). Then he got clingy, needy and whinny. My mornings are so frustrating. I dislike them so much. I can't seem to keep him happy most mornings, let alone get anything done. I tried playing with bubbles, but he didn't love it. He had breakfast at approx. 10am. He was pretty fussy at first, but after pushing the idea of breakfast he ate a good amount, then was a little happier, but still fussy after. He sort of seems bored. Bored with the rooms he's allowed in and bored with his toys. Maybe I need toddler activity time ideas too.

[Nicolo12]

When people talk about wind down routine... what are some examples of some? Just a certian routine done before bed? Like dinner, bath, bedtime story, (maybe bottle), bed? Just that kind of thing? is there anything more that should be done to get them feeling ready for sleep?

Reading cues... I feel as though I'm not good at that. Such as in the morning time when he is so fussy, I can't figure out why. And cues when he is tired. Rubbing the eyes and maybe getting fussy when it's about that time is the only way I might think he's ready to go down. How do you know if they are OT?

[sianie]

Glad they helped!

What sort of night did he have (i.e. what time did he go to bed, did he have any NW's etc)?

Is it just the morning's he's like this? Toddler's do have a very short attention span, DS follows me around the house when I'm trying to do chores so I try to give him things to do in the room I'm in so he can still see me (e.g. if I'm in the kitchen he loves playing with a wooden spoon & some pots).

[sianie]

Posted at the same time....

Re: wind-down (WD) it really depends on your LO, some need a longer WD than others. WD is typically trying to de-stimulate & calm your LO as much as possible so that they are ready to go to sleep so a BT WD could include a bath, bedtime story, milk, whatever works for you & calms your LO down. With my DS he has a bath/bedtime story then we sit in his bedroom with only his night-light on he has his milk & a cuddle until he's very calm and sleepy & then he goes into his cot. We've been doing this pretty consistently with him since he was very little so he now knows that it's time for bed by the WD routine. For naps I do a shorter WD so 20/30 mins before his nap he'll go into his sleeping bag, 10 mins or so before nap time & sits quietly with me & then goes down.

Again, signs for OT can vary from one LO to another, but for my 2 LO's, rubbing their eyes usually indicated OT (as usually they do this when they have gone beyond the yawning stage). Also getting fussy can indicate OT, crying before or during sleep times also can be OT. If I were you I would try & stick with a consistent A time for a few days so your LO gets used to it, it will then make it easier to detect whether they are UT/OT etc...

Does this help?

[Nicolo12]

It does help. Thanks so much.
I'll be trying some of these things. I'll let you know how things are going. Thanks!

[sianie]

Great....keep me posted! 

[Brock~Tahlia~Mummy]

Hi Nicolo!
How's it going? You've have been given dome great ideas!
 
I agree with pps don't put toouch pressure on yourself to
change the whole lot at once!Maybe start with 1 or 2 current issues?

I thought I'd add? Do you take DS out in the mornings at all? I have a spirited/touchy DS and we've been doing morning outings/activities for many months now... I can't imaging keeping him home! His whinging would drive me mad! So you're not alone there! X
Just some ideas... Have you thought of enrolling in classes of dome type? Music, swimming, kindy gym or finding a local play group or similar?
We do Swim class, kindy gym, playgroup and on Sunday mornings we go out on a family outing.
Like pp said if you can find a chore that ds can help you with? Eg my DS plays with the pegs and peg basket and passes the pegs to me when I hang out the washing.
Re toys... I've discovered not to let DS play with all his toys at once. He had several closed plastic containers full of different type of toys that we alternate. Eg firstly he'll want the machine/car and train box, once he's over that he helps me pack away the cars/trains and we close the lid and move on to the next box eg duplo Lego.

HTH  (hope this helps) X