My son won't sleep

[rubber_da_glove]

For about 3 weeks my 26 month old son has decided not to sleep.

He went into his big boy bed just before his 2nd birthday and was happy there. Getting up around 7, napping for 1.5 hours at lunch and back to bed for 7...and not a peep till morning.

Then he started having nightmares. For 3 nights in a row he woke up crying and shaking so we sorted him out and he was back to bed till morning. Then the nightmares stopped and he decided he just didn't want to go to bed any more. So I have been doing the old "Super Nanny" thing of not saying anything and putting him back in bed. However he thinks it's a game and just laughs and climbs out again before he's even in bed. He eventually collapses to sleep about 8.30. Then he's decided he's up for the day any time between 4 and 5.30am. He comes storming into our room (where my 4 month old is trying to sleep) shouting at the top of his voice so then we all have to get up. As he won't stay in his bedroom he's not napped for weeks either. He is crazy OT now and he's just a pain to be with. He's hardly ever happy and keeps screaming at me. (and his poor little brother is so sensitive and keeps crying when he screams, I think I need some ear plugs  )

he doesn't talk (he's in speech therapy) so I can't find out what the dreams were about because thats when it all started, although I think thats a distant memory to him now.

We just all need some sleep so badly. And with night feeds for DS2 I could cry I'm so tired (actually I cried and screamed before 7am today...it was a bad day Oh, and my DH works random shifts, often being out the house by 4.30am and not home until 7-8pm so he's often not around to help. He creeps around the house in the morning to make sure as not to disturb DS1 but he's still up before the birds.

I'm at the end of my tether and would love some (any!!) advice

[sianie]

Hi there!

Sorry you're having a tough time! It does sound like he's in a a bit of an OT cycle stemming from the nightmares.

A few Q's:

 - Does he have a night-light in his room?
 - Do you have/could you put a toddler-gate in his door-way so he can't get out of his room?
 - Is he still having the nightmares?
 - What does your current routine look like?

Hang in there! 

[irishprettykitty]

sending hugs and sleeping vibes. Can you post his routine? Will do our best to help

[~*Nicole*~]

Def. try a gate or some way of keeping him in the room. At least at that point YOU have to go to him and he isn't able to come to you.

Are you doing early naps to compensate for him waking so early? And early bedtimes? I am wondering if his sleep needs had changed around the same time and he was UT so fought bedtime and now gotten himself OT?

A nightlight has also been super helpful over here if you aren't already using one. We also adjusted our winddown routine to be a bit more drawn out. Where I used to just dress DD and read a story and plop her into bed, now we always do a bath, some lotion, get on pajamas, we each read a story, I put on sleeping music for her, I sing a lullaby and then I leave. It's really helped DD to settle down a bit more and get into sleep mode better. All the stories and the singing happen on her bed as well.

[rubber_da_glove]

Thank you ladies. We put a gate on his door last night. He wanted to go to bed still but he just stood in his door shouting for me. It took him a little less time to go to sleep, I think he was about by about 7.45ish. And this morning it was great because he was trapped in his room so DS2 could sleep He's got some cars and a car mat in his room which we put in when he went into a bed so he could play if he got up but he just sat in the doorway sulking LOL Much better

I tried a night light but he was scared of it so that didn't help at all

It's napping I've got serious issues with. I can't get him to stay in his bed at nap time, he thinks there is too much fun going on. He has (occasionally) napped on the sofa but I have to make a real effort to sit him down long enough to zone out and go to sleep. I have tried putting him down earlier but he still just keeps getting up and I can't keep faffing about in his room because I have to help DS2 get through the 45min nap monster...UGH.

I do take them both for a walk a few times a week so they could nap together but DS1 has only gone to sleep a couple of times and I can't drive so I can't get him to sleep that way.

We were just talking about moving his bed time to 7.30 when he started having the nightmares so everything got messed up

[rubber_da_glove]

And I forgot to put what a typical day looks like lol

wake around 6.45
nap between 12.15-12.30 until 1
then bed at 7.

He was just starting to have slightly EW, around 6.15ish and we were going to push bedtime to 7.30 like I said in my PP when the nightmares started


ETA...His routine has been like this since about September (his nap before was earlier and maybe 2-2.5 hours). Sometimes he'd refused to nap so I'd been putting him in bed an hour earlier and he would sleep until 7am the next day. He has once since September slept longer than 7 and that was my birthday Both boys slept until 7.30 and it was amazing 

[sianie]

Hi!

Glad the gate has helped a bit!

I would also empty his room of toys etc so that he see's his bedroom as a quiet place to sleep rather than a playroom iyswim? At least then when he goes down for naps etc he has nothing to distract him.

Have you tried WIWO?

[rubber_da_glove]

I'm being thick. Whats WIWO?

[~*Nicole*~]

Basically similar to super nanny style. You go in, use your sleep phrase and put him back into bed and leave. You can do so without saying anything at all or you can start w/ a phrase and then after a few returns to the bed stop speaking so he knows you mean business. I had to do this with DD around that age when we moved her to her bed. I basically lived in the hallway so that I kept going back into her room and putting her back into bed. I only did so when she cried/screamed for me and got out of bed. If she got out of bed but was quiet I didn't go in and left her to whatever she was doing as she didn't NEED me. But you can do it for every occurrence of him getting out of the bed to demonstrate that it IS indeed time to sleep.

Let me find a link for you to read so you can have all your info. before you make a decision about trying it out.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

I am thinking that this stemmed first from the nightmares and then from a possible sleep needs change where he fought sleep b/c he was UT and then he got himself into an OT mess. I am wondering about changing the timing of his nap. If he's waking OT I'd try to have him down earlier. If he's waking happy and doesn't seem OT, I'd try having his nap a bit later. So maybe even having him down at 11:45 if you think OT and maybe more like 1:15 if you think he's waking up his happy, normal, content self?

[rubber_da_glove]

Thank you for the link. Tonight DH stayed in his room until he was asleep and as he'd had a no nap day he was out within seconds However if DH had left his room he would have been wondering around as usual I know!! I'm happy to stay in his room for a bit if it's what it takes but I can only really do this at bed time as during the day I have DS2 to look after and he's a little more high needs Also I don't want him to start waking at night and wanting us to go into him all the time.

Is it really bad if I let him nap on the sofa? I've got DS2 napping in his carry cot in the dining room as I just can't leave one of them long enough to sleep train the other!

[sianie]

Hi...not sure if you've seen this link? You might find it helpful!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63933.0

I can relate to the difficulties of trying to sleep train your LO with a toddler around....it's a challenge! As he was an independent sleeper before, he does still have that skill he's just gone a bit off course & you will probably find that he's reasonably easy to get back on track (as long as you are consistent with whatever method you use).

Are you able to APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) a nap if necessary? I sometimes used to take both my LO's out in the buggy/car when DS was little to get them both to sleep. I think when you have 2 LO's to look after you have to make some compromises i.e. is him napping on the sofa is better than him not napping at all? You might find that once things settle down at BT he is happier to nap in his bed.

[rubber_da_glove]

I have been using APOP but when the weather is good I'm not going out for a walk in the rain 


I just have to share though that last night he went to sleep ok(ish) with DH in his room until he was asleep, then when we went to bed he got up. So I put him back in bed and told him it was bed time which he was quite happy with. Then about 15 mins later I heard him get out of bed and open his door again. Because the baby gate was there he couldn't do anything. Well, I don't know how long he was standing there but he wasn't crying or asking for anyone so I left him and a bit later one I heard him climb back into bed I think we are getting somewhere!!

[sianie]

That sounds positive!

Forgot to mention, have you thought of getting a Gro-clock?

http://www.gro.co.uk/Gro-clock.html

We bought one for DD a few months ago to help her to understand time to go to bed & more importantly time to wake-up. It's been really effective in her understanding that she stays quiet & in bed until the sun comes up!

[rubber_da_glove]

I've been thinking about getting one. But I'm not sure if he'd understand it yet. But then again, I don't think I give him enough credit for what he knows

[sianie]

I would say that at around 2 yrs old he should understand as the concept is quite simple; sunshine = awake, stars = sleep time.

Have a look on Amazon as they are usually a bit cheaper on there.