I think you are doing the right thing by waiting to see if she settles herself. At least you are giving her fair chance.
Here is what I think may be happening. First off, I think you might have an 8wk growth spurt on your hands. So I think she is going to bed, waking UT and is unable to resettle. In the meantime she is getting hungry, so that is why she ends up staying awake and then sleeping after the DF. Do you feed her at NWings as well?
So maybe try clusterfeeding in the evening to see if it helps tank her up before bed. If you can tweak her routine to get her sufficiently tired at bedtime, then hopefully she will sleep until the DF.
Big ((hugs)) though, honestly those were dark days for me. We moved when DS2 was 1 wk old, and we didn't even get to move into our house yet. We had to stay at my dad's vacation place which was soooo not kid friendly. It was 4 separate levels, so I was constantly running up and down stairs between DS1 downstairs and DS2 upstairs, trying to get him to nap. Since he wouldn't go down easily and only slept 30mins, I ended up giving up trying altogether. DS2 more or less slept in the baby carrier or baby wrap for the first 3mos of his life until we finally moved into our house and he had his own room.
It was a nightmare, but like anything else it was easy to forget how horrible it was once he started outgrowing some of those issues and becoming more of his own little person. Of course I wouldn't change it for the world now. It's easy to say it went by quick looking back, but it's easy to feel like the future is so far away looking forward. Just take it one day at a time.
