10 Month old wakes at least twice a night

[alphadad]

independent sleep? As in a withdrawal method ?

He is 13 months now.

For night time, fairly easy, we can still put him down and either stay for a few minutes or walk straight out and he goes to sleep.

Daytime - no chance, he will only nap with assistance - patting, shhing. He just stands up in his crib either talking or crying for hours. WI/WO doesn't help, just infuriates him more.

I tried looking in the naps forum but most references are to babies younger than him. So not sure what to apply to move forward, patting him for over an hour seems to be developing a crutch even though BW says it isn't - he rolls over when I pat , soon as I stop he rolls back and looks at me.

[mmom]

At 13 months, you would be much further into the 2-1 than I thought.  If your LO needs a cat nap at all, it is probably 20 - 30 minutes.

At this point, you should check out the Toddler Sleep Boards.  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=34.0

I really would work on sleep training. Yes, WI/WO makes them upset. But if you are consistent with it, than you will get success.  If you always give in, then obviously it is not going to work.

HTH.

[~inbalance~]

Hi there!

Independent sleep means that he goes to sleep on his own without any assistance.

Pat/ssh is a technique used for MUCH younger babies and is generally not effective for older babies and toddlers, but it seems to be a bit of a prop for him, no?

I think the reason that he is resisting naps so much is more routine related.  It is possible he is not tired when you are trying to put him down and that is why it is taking so long.

Also, when you are changing something with a toddler and they don't like it, you can expect them to get VERY angry at times.  Toddlers do not like change!  So expect there to be a lot of crying if you are weaning a prop and teaching him to go to sleep.  The difference is, when you are using a tool like WIWO, then he will learn that you are still there for him but he is not going to get his way. 

I agree that you need to choose a method and be consistent.  Perhaps if you do post on the toddler sleep boards some more people will have other ideas as well. 

[alphadad]

thanks - I will keep working it.

Though yesterday and the day before we tried (indep sleep) all the happened was he was awake for 8hrs before he napped and the night sleep was obviously not great.. So it seems counterintuitive to do it that way - as it is not possible to get a schedule based on leaving him to sleep.

[~inbalance~]

It does take a lot of work to get a good routine established.  Once it is it makes all the difference though.  Hard work does pay off.    Also, when you are trying to get it going, you can expect to have to work through a lot of OT.  I know how frustrating it is.  It took a long time to get things on track with my DS1, but the good news is that once we figured him out it was smooth sailing from then on.

Since I'm not sure where you're at with your current routine, I don't really know what to suggest.  Have you started a post on toddler sleep yet?  I think that if you do then myself or some others can look at it with fresh eyes and might have some more ideas of where to start to get on track.  It is actually more appropriate to post there at this point since he is over a year old.

Don't be discouraged!  Independent sleep has to be taught, it doesn't always happen naturally.  Especially with older babies and toddlers, habits are very ingrained and take longer to break.  Just think - if he is 13mos now and it has taken that long to build certain associations, then it will most certainly take a lot more time to change things.

[Canwi]

Am going to lock this thread now as it has been supersceded by this thread http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208769.0