3.5 month old - terrible napper

[rekindled]

Hello, I am looking for some encouragement and advice dealing with my 3.5 month old DD.  We are on day 5 of doing EASY.

We had a major case of accidental parenting - up until last week she would only nap if I rocked and bounced her and would only sleep on me as if I put her down she would instantly wake up, or in the pushchair or car.  Even with the rocking/bouncing she would cry and would often wake up after 45 mins.  She was also waking up 4 times a night to feed and I was starting to get really frustrated so on Saturday we decided to put her on EASY.  The night times are much better now, she is only waking up once or twice (although still waking early) but the biggest issue for me is naps.  I am pretty sure she is chronically OT because she starts showing tired signs only an hour after waking up (fussing, burrowing into my shoulder).  I think she has also been OS so I am trying to keep A time really low key, although it is hard to know what to do with her!

What happens when I take her for a nap is she usually starts crying within a minute of getting in the bedroom. I have been closing the curtains and holding her for a minute before I put her down to try and WD but she is already upset at this point - should I try to calm her down before putting her down?  Should I start to shh/pat while I am holding her?  Then I put her down and do shh/pat, and pick her up if she seems really inconsolable (usually only once or twice as PU/PD was too stimulating for her).  She usually cries for a full 20 minutes before falling asleep - I am with her the whole time doing shh/pat although sometimes I have resorted to letting her suck my finger (AP I know).  Is this normal to cry for so long?  We have also been using a womb sounds recording which also comes on if she cries or moves around a lot - is this just another prop?

Then she often wakes up after 30 minutes (every nap yesterday) and it can take from 20 minutes an hour to get her back to sleep in the same way (shh/pat, sometimes finger sucking, womb sounds thing), crying the whole time again.  I am finding this very frustrating as I feel like I am spending all day in the dark with a crying baby and often I end up crying as well, which probably doesn't help.

This morning she woke up and was wide awake at 5.30 so we have started from then (yesterday I tried to get her back to sleep but she wouldn't, and started at 6.30 and she was OT all day).  She started to show tired signs at 6.30 so I took her upstairs, curtains closed, we had a cuddle and I sang a lullaby and held her for about 10-15 minutes, as usual she was crying almost the whole time.  She was desperately looking for something to suck on but I didn't give her my finger.  I started the shh/pat and after a couple of minutes I felt like she was fighting against me so I figured this means she wants to be put down, so I did, and carried on the shh/pat.  I held her on her side to do this so I could pat her back.  She wriggles an awful lot so I have to keep moving her otherwise she ends up in the cot bars.  But after about 10 minutes she stopped crying so I slowly reduced and stopped the shh and then the pat.  I am not 100% sure if she was asleep before I stopped the shh/pat or not because it was really dark.

Anyway I am really finding naptimes hard, I woke up at 5.00 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because I am dreading naps so much so I really need some encouragement.  Does it sound like I am doing shh/pat right?  Should I stop letting her suck my finger and using the womb sounds thing?  And will it get better or is she always going to cry when it's naptime?

[bethcurtis]

This sounds very similar to where I am, so I'm no help, other than to say you're not alone.  I can get him to go off to sleep after about 20 mins, sometime of hard screaming but he pings awake after 20 mins, even though I have stayed with him and tried to shush him through.  I then spend the next hour trying to get him back to sleep which he sometimes does for about a minute.  I wonder if he's overstimulated, but it is so had to watch his cues and then spend the time settling him with my 3 year old.  Any advice?

When he is screaming should I be holding him or trying to shush pat in his cot?

[mamatolevi]

Hi there! Try not to get discouraged. You are doing a great job. It's going to get much better, but it can be a lot of work at times. COuld you post your routine in EAS format so we can have a look?
Here are a few links for you to check out:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=186622.0
I think you'll find lots of helpful info in there. As I mentioned, you can post your routine so we can try to narrow down what it it that is making naps difficult for you
Nikki
xoxo

[rekindled]

Hi Beth I am glad to know I am not the only one struggling with this.  I hope you figure something out soon.

Hi Nikki thanks for your reply.  As it is our first week on EASY we haven't really settled into a proper routine yet but here is a rough idea.  My LO is breastfed. I am putting her down in her cot for all her naps and using shh pat to get her to sleep.  She is 16 weeks old so I was wondering if it is around the time to start transitioning to 4 hour EASY (she can often go 3.5 hours between feeds).  I don't do a DF because I have been going to bed at 9pm to try and get enough sleep.

7.00 E
7.15 A
8.30 S 45 mins then shh pat/HTTJ to try and extend
10.00 E
10.15 A usually overtired so short activity time
11.00 S 45 mins then shh pat to try and extend
1.00 E often starts falling asleep but I have been trying to keep her awake
1.15 A usually overtired again so short activity time
2.00 S 45 mins then shh pat to try and extend
4.00 E often sleepy again
4.15 A still overtired
5.00 attempt to put down for catnap, usually can't get her to sleep
6.45 bath
7.00 E and bed
anywhere between 1 and 4 night wakings although this has improved since starting EASY

When I use shh pat to try and extend I can get her back to sleep about half the time but she never stays asleep for more than about 5 minutes so she's constantly overtired.

I have stopped letting her suck my finger and she is crying less and now sleeping for 45 minutes instead of 30 so we have made some progress since my last post.  But because I am using shh pat to get her to sleep for every nap, and then to extend every nap except the cat nap, I am doing it 7 times a day for at least 20 minutes a time!