PLEASE HELP!

[anna*]

I think that's a good idea to have one nap per day on you. Hang in there hun. We all know how frustrating and disheartening it is trying to get a tired baby to SLEEP but we have all been there and are here to hold your hand.

[claudiagirl123]

I posted this on the NW board, but thought maybe someone here could help.

We moved him to the crib a few days ago and he's actually been a lot better.  I kept him on a strict hour and a half wake time and put him down for a nap - followed this schedule the past few days and things seemed to be going really well.

Last night however, my son woke up every 30-60 minutes!!  Is this a sleep regresssion??  Is this going to be a new pattern with him??

I have read that these sleep regressions can last for  months.  How is that possible?  How can anyone survive on absolutely no sleep for months on end???

He slept fine since bringing him home from the hospital.  He was sleeping 12 hours straight at one point.  The few nights in the crib were great - we put him to bed at 7:30 and was just waking up to eat once and sleeping until 7am or 8am.  PLEASE, PLEASE HELP!   
 
When he woke up I just put him back to sleep like normal - very slight rocking and some shushing.  I did the pat shush thing too when he wasn't totally upset  and that seemed to work.  I tried nursing him every time as well and he almost seemed mad that I was trying to feed him, so he clearly wasn't hungry.  So, I'm guessing this is not a growth spurt. 

The only other thing I can imagine is that typically I will hold him for a nap so he gets in one long nap a day.  He went both Saturday and Sunday without this - BUT had four 30 minute naps on Sat and five 30 minute naps on Sunday.  He slept really well both nights, so I figured he wasn't overtired.  He did seem very cranky last night before bed and we barely made it through our bedtime routine.  I usually do a massage and bath.  He wouldn't even tolerate the massage he was so tired - this has never happened before.

So, do you think it's a sleep regression in which I'm in for weeks of no sleep (no idea how I'll physically survive that one!) or maybe just overtired?  Should I hold him for naps today to get him back on track?

This is so frustrating because I finally had him on a schedule both Sat and Sun and actually felt so calm and relaxed about it.  It was so very nice!  I guess it won't work though :
 

[anna*]

If it was just one night I wouldn't make any judgements about it. Could have been a bit of tummy trouble, or some overstimulation. Regressions usually only last 3 days, tops. When he wakes, do you rush in to him or wait and check that he's really crying an 'I need you' not a mantra cry? Do you rock him all the way to sleep for all his sleeps or only at NWs?

[claudiagirl123]

my husband wants to let him cio and I really don't think we should.  I know he is too young.  I just don't know what to do!!!  

[claudiagirl123]

I wait until he cries.  Let him fuss a bit and see if he will go back to sleep.  I rock him until he is almost out - this only takes a few minutes and the last few days of keeping him on the schedule he was so easy to put down for a nap.  He didn't fight one single nap over the weekend.  He is usually pretty much out when I put him down, but usually has his eyes slightly open.  I'll shush him for a second and he'll usually turn his head and fall asleep. 

I guess maybe the 4 to 5 30 minute naps were just not enough over two days??

I hope if it's a regression it only lasts a few days.  I read they can last for 4-6 weeks!

[anna*]

I'd start trying to put him down a little earlier so that he is really not relying on the rocking to fall asleep.

2-2.5hrs over two days would definitely leave him very overtired, which wouldn't help.

[claudiagirl123]

Well, he had two hours of naps each day.  Is it because they were all short naps, they would still leave him OT?

[anna*]

Yep. 2 hrs of naps total at this age is very little - a good amount of daytime sleep would be more like 4.5-5 hrs.

[claudiagirl123]

Thanks.  I thought I hit rock bottom the other day, and now I really think I hit it.  Its worse now because I feel like the weekend went so well - up until last night when he got miserable.  I felt so rejuvenated and thought the worst was over.  Now it's not only starting over again, it's worse.

I am going to try to hold him through the jolts in a few minutes and see how that helps.  In the video monitor I can see his legs shoot straight up right around the 25 minute mark, so maybe holding him down will help.  I just think it will wake him, but we will see.

[claudiagirl123]

HTTJ didn't work of course!  He woke up at his usual time and just started smiling at me.  I held him for as long as my back could allow and had to give up. 

I feel like this is driving right into a postpartum depression misery.  I so badly wanted to be a mom and I never thought I would dislike it so much as I do right now.  I am so incredibly tempted to just let him CIO! 

[anna*]

Honey, please try to relax. I know how stressful this is, truly. But CIO is not the answer - even Ferber himself said it shouldn't be used on babies under 6 months old. Do you have any help/support? Could your partner take some of the night wakings so you can each get a solid chunk of sleep? Fingers tightly crossed for a better night tonight, and that last night one was a one off. If rocking is a prop, it will be a few tough days/nights to wean it, but it is not impossible.

[Smurfette]

Hi there
I just wanted to send you my support and to let you know I feel your pain. I've been there and I know how devestating it can be when you think something has gotten better but then it goes back or gets worse. It WILL get better. Hang in there!!!

I don't have much to add but I've found shortening the A times helps with OT and I would encourage you to be diligent using the crib.
I would also really recommend doing a cluster feed and /or a dream feed. It took my DD about a week of dream feeds and giving her a paci when she woke at 2 30 to elminate that wake up, but then I got to be reacquainted with my long lost friend-sleep.

Are you able to pump a bottle or two for your husband or someone else to take over for one night so you can get some solid sleep? I, too have my own sleep issues but my husband did some night feeds a few times a week and it made a WORLD of difference for me and my perspective on things.
Lol...I had to put earplugs in AND a pillow over my head AND sleep in the basement just so I wouldn't hear him get up cause then I'd start to worry and fret.
Hang in there!
I've been where you are and never believed ppl when they said it would get better, but it does.
The effort you put in now to solve the issues will pay off down the road!!!

[claudiagirl123]

My husband took a few days off of work to let me relax for a bit.  I am feeling a lot better.  I was able to read the other book - solve all your problems.  I have some questions that I didn't think were clear in the book.

-I felt it was unclear as to how to break the 30 minute nap issue.  I have tried everything to see if I could change his cycle.  I have tried shortening awake times, I've tried having very low key A times and it seems no matter what happens he wakes at the 30 minute mark.  Am I supposed to pat/shush him?  I know I'm  not supposed to pick up, but he will start to cry and then it seems like I am supposed to pick him up.  That seems like a PU/PD and he is not four months yet.  Also, the other issue is 99% of the time he wakes up from these 30 minute naps happy, babbling away and smiling at me as if he's ready to play.  What would you suggest doing with all of these factors in order to lengthen the naps? 

-I really find it awkward to put him on his side to pat.  I know she mentions it not as effective patting their chest, but has anyone found it helpful?

-In regards to the 7am wakeup.  If I look at my notes I have found my son does a whole lot better sleeping until 8 or 8:30.  Do I really have to get him up at 7?  We start bedtime routine at 6:30 and he's asleep by 7:30. 

If you have any advice I'd really appreciate it.  Thanks in advance.

[claudiagirl123]

Oh, and I will admit that perhaps I haven't tried one method to extend his napping for too long.  Should I try one strategy for a few days before assessing its results?  If so, what method should I be consistent with first as part of this trial and error?  I'm guessing to continue keeping A time low key, or at least provide the most stimulation during the first fifteen minutes of A time?  Maybe also put him to sleep after an hour w time?

The other thing is that he eats very quickly - ten minutes total.  I am currently counting that as a time.  So, if he wakes at 8:30, I start to wind down at 9:30 and hopfuly have him napping by 10.  Is this wrong or correct?

[anna*]

Yes, eating time is included in A time.

Have you tried going into his nursery about 20 mins into his nap and putting your hands on him, gently, so that you can try to 'ease' him past that wake up? That's the first thing I would try. I'd be sure there's no external noise waking him (doesn't necessarily need to be happening 30 mins in the nap, but if it's ongoing and he's in light sleep at that time) so maybe some white noise. Is he swaddled? Is his nursery really, really dark?

Don't worry about PUPD. It is fine to pick up if he is crying, but try to settle him in his crib first. I would shush-pat for 20 mins or so to extend a nap, but if he's not settling then abandon the nap and bring the next nap forwards.

I never had any luck with patting on my LOs chest/shoulder. I used tightly rolled receiving blankets to wedge him on his side, and patted from there.

No need to wake at 7, if his days go better with a later morning. Enjoy the lie in!