SA, in need of tweak or something else????

[missyb]

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH I wish I could say that things have got dramatically better but they haven’t!!!  I just do not know what to do with this child anymore!!

On the up side…..

Firstly-he has cut 2 of his 2 year molars. Although he has coped remarkably well and I never ever would have thought they were coming through.  So, not sure how much emphasis I want to place on that, as he is happy and cheerful, eating well and no real signs of teething other than the mank #2’s.

He is still napping well during the day for DH and at daycare.  Is waking himself up happily after about an hour.  At daycare he has seemed to have naturally pushed his sleep back closer to 1pm than 12.30.

Pushing the nap back to 1pm has reduced the length of time that he is acting up for and on the odd day he has eventually get into bed and go to sleep for me, but it is generally only for about 40min or. But that is better than what we had. Downside is that he isn’t waking till 2.30-3 which is getting a bit late in the day.

I have ordered a momo clock (similar concept to a gro clock, but with a monkey) and that should arrive this week sometime!!!

J is generally happy and compliant when he is awake (with the exception of bed)

On the down side…………

He has started acting up for DH at bedtime even with an 8pm bedtime.  It isn’t for long (maybe 2-3min) but this is worrying as this is how all of this originally started, so I see a new pattern emerging.

We now have the odd NW’ing. Which is fine cause it is a happy one and I don’t do anything, but they last in excess of an hour.  The upside to this is that when he has a NW’ing he sleeps till about 7-7.30. But we are still having the 5.30-6am wake ups when he doesn’t.

REAL DOWNER-DH is going away in 2 weeks for 5 days, (4 of which are non-day care days) and it also co-insides with our clocks going back for day light savings.  So will have to deal with that by myself (Am not impressed and DH knows it-he will owe me BIG TIME)

So I am at a loss.    I have been slack and haven’t written our routine down for the past few days so have no idea really with what to tell you on where we are at as things are all over the show.  But I guess at a rough guess it is looking like

6am wake if no NW’ing or 7-7.30ish if there was a NW’ing
12.45/1ish nap for 1hr
7.30-8 pm bed always asleep by 8.10 at the latest. 

On paper it is still looking like OT but my gut is just telling me that it is not.  He is just too happy and well behaved for him to be OT, and it seems like a similar pattern to what we had before I started capping the nap.

So I am not sure if I cap the nap even more, just cut it out all together (although I don’t think he is quiet ready for this), wait and ride out the teeth and hope things go back to what they were??

[*Becky*]

It really sounds like an UT/OT loop to me. I am pretty sure the total amount of sleep he is getting is not enough but it does seem like the nap is not really helping the situation.
I think I would try cutting it out and doing a much earlier bedtime. So ideally I would choose a day when he wakes at 7/7.30am and do bedtime around 6.30pm and see if that helps.
You may find that every day or two he needs a nap to prevent OT or he may just be ready for the switch.
Keep me posted
bx

[babybarr]

Ok I think Becky's idea is worth a shot but first I suggest you try the earlier nap and just see what happens.  Try an 11.30am nap from a 6.30am wake, sometimes these teeth play complete havoc and I really think at just 2 he probably isn't ready to drop the nap

[Tao]

Little J,

I just wanted to let you know that my DD is turning two next month and she TOO is going through the same SA situation. Although, with her, even DH can't get her to go down. We're going to start doing WIWO tonight and will keep you posted too...

Just want you to know that I feel your exhaustion =)

Hugs,
Christine

[missyb]

Thanks for yur responses!!!

Becky, the OT/UT loop was exactly what we were in before i started capping the nap. It was horrendous, but caping the nap at 1hr sovled the problem.

I think I will try cutting it out, as it is the only thing I haven't tried. Although I am a bit of scardy cat and not sure if I am brave enough to try it!!   But it will have to wait until the weekend now as he is at daycare for the rest of the week and he sleeps well there and I feel that because it is so full on for him he needs a nap there.

Laura, I tried an early nap today because he had woken at 6 and he had had a huge play at the indoor playground this morning so I assumed he was knackered and he fought me harder than he has ever fought before,  but who knows what would have happened if DH had tried.

So he ended up having his nap at 1 as per usual but only had 40min (woke happy), but happily went down to bed at 7.10 for DH which is the first time in about a week that he has had a tantrum over going to bed. So we will see what the morning brings.

Christine, nice to know I am not the only one.  Even at 2 I still fin dmyself wishing I had an instruction manual for J!!!  Good luck with tonight!!!


Thanks again!!

[*Becky*]

how was the night?

[missyb]

Sorry Becky,I have only just seen this as the internet has been down for a few days!!

The night was good.  We had a brief happy NW at about 2am which I think lasted all of 15min, and then he woke at 7.15 int he most beautiful mood!!!

He then spent the next 3 days at daycare so had his hour nap and we were back to 6am wake up calls.  I wasn't brave enough today to cut the nap out as I was shattered and needed a nap myself so might aim for that tomorrow when DH is around for support!!!

The momo clock arrived and we used it for the 1st time last night.  He seemed really excited about it until we went to bed and then he just started crying saying "no momo no momo" so it spent the night on the opposite side of the room.  He did wake at 6 this mornign though and was quietish (well quieter than usual) until momo woke up at 7.  But I think it gave him a fright as he got rather upset. He seemed ok with it tonight though.  Early days so we will perserver.

[missyb]

Well I bit the bullet (kind of) yesterday and did away with the nap.  I let him have a nap in the car as we had a long trip to go on late morning, and he only ever sleeps 25min in the car no matter how tired.

Then we had quiet time for an hour in the arvo, whih was then going to be followed by an early BT, but I was out and DH didn't follow the rules (arrgh men).  Apparently he was playing happily so DH decided to leave him, despite being given specific instructions!!!

So our day looked like

6am wake up
11.50-12.15 nap in the car
2.30-3.30 quiet time
7.15 bed

We then had a NWíng at 10pm which was quickly solved by a cuddle and then some sussshing standing at his door.  Which is the 1st time in months that I have been able to settle him during the night.  The whole thing took maybe 20min (inlcuding the time I let him try and self settle)

And then we had a wake up of 6.45 this morning!!!! 

SO yes he was probaly a bit OT from yesterday, but it was a vast improvment on what we have been having over the last few weeks, so now do i keep going??

He coped really well and only had 1 small tantrum, and was happy the rest of the time.  SO who knows!!!

I just know that the extra 45min this mornign made me VERY HAPPY!! Amazing what a little lie in can do

[*Becky*]

lovely - good news. I think that you need to see how it goes. He 'might' be a toddler who does better with very short/no nap days and then a longer nap if and when you see he is getting OT.
Keep us posted x

[missyb]

OMG I just have to share!!

For the last 2 days not only have I managed to DS to have a nap, in his bed, but WITHOUT any screaming, crying or tantrums!!!!  What a MASSIVE improvement. BT's are good too.

I read this article on a technique called the "pop in" technique, where basically you go in and check on them at increasing intervals but only if they are not crying or getting out of bed.  Kind of like a quiet CIO and no crying!!!  Out of desparation I needed to try something!!!

So I tell J to get into bed, I give him a kiss and a cuddle, tell him that if he lies quietly mummy will come back and check on him soon.  I then go back after a couple of minutes, stick my head in the door and say good boy mummy loves you I will check on you again soon. And I can leave without him making a peep.  He has really taken to it!!

It has been 5 days and every day we have had improvements, with yesterday being a completly scream, tear and tantrum free day!!!!

Down side to this is that now he is napping we are back to EWíngs, but will live with them for another week or so, A) to get him settled back into sleeping independantly again and B) to fully adjust to daylight savings which ended last weekend.

Then we can tackle the routine and get him sorted!!!  I am hoping that it will be fairly easy now the screaming seems to be over (long may it last)

The momo clock is helping a little in the mornings as well, he will normally go about 30-45min happily reading to himself before he starts calling out,  I have then been letting him bring his books into bed with with me and he reads quietly until momo wakes up.  Not ideal but it means i am still resting and we aren't getting out of bed till 7, which by that time he has actually been up for at least 1hr if not 1.5 so I cant really complain.

I feel like it is such a HUGE relief and I am feeling so much better about it!!! I hated the screaming!!!

I can't thank you all enough for your help and support over the last month with this!!!  No doubt i will be back in a couple of weeks for some routine tweaking!!

[*Becky*]

glad to hear things are better hun xx