10.5mo old not eating

[juliechloe]

Help!  I'm about to lose it.  I don't know what to do anymore.  My DD is so picky that it changes day to day.  She used to like everything then now, she doesn't seem to like anything that she used to eat. I would make something that she likes to eat at lunch one day then she refuses to eat it on the next day.  Most of the time, she won't even open her mouth to try the new food.  When after much distraction with toys, she may open and realize she kind of likes it then after 5 spoons, she shuts her mouth again.  I know she's not full because if she has something she likes, she eats and eats.  The trouble is, I don't know what else she likes anymore.  I can't make 10 things to try for every meal!  She refuses to try new finger foods other than cheerios, puffs and mum mums.  I'm stressed out and I don't know what to do anymore.  She's also not drinking very much (<5oz. formula the whole day) and only nurses once in the early morning.  I've posted her drinking problems on another topic.
Please help

[~inbalance~]

Hey hon.  I'm sorry that your DD's eating is stressing you out. 
Start by having a look here first:  http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=182686.0

I know it's really really hard not to worry when your LO is not interested in eating, but the thing is stressing about it doesn't make anything better.  Ultimately she is the one who will decide what to eat.  So I encourage you to keep offering, but to also stop worrying.  I think sometimes if we adjust our outlook on the situation, then it makes a huge difference.

Now, at this age many babies will lose interest in being spoon-fed altogether, so I would stop trying.  It is only going to create more negative associations for both of you.  If you'd like to keep incorporating the spoon, then try loading it up but giving it to her.

Keep offering the finger foods.  My DS2 is almost 10.5mos as well and he would rather play with it and throw it.     But those things are important too, and babies are actually learning about food through play.

Focus on her milk intake.  I hope you are getting some helpful advice on your other threads.

Don't worry about quantity.  Quality is more important.  Offer foods that are healthy and pack a nutritional punch.  BUT, don't fret if she hardly touches it.  If she is starving she will eat.  If she doesn't like something one day, oh well. 

It's really all about the attitude you take.  These babies are almost toddlers, and toddlers certainly know how to exert their likes and dislikes!  Try not to focus on how much she eats at one meal or even in one day, rather have a look at what she eats throughout the week.  If you look at the bigger picture, she might be eating more than you think.

(((hugs))), Next to sleep I think eating is one of the most stressful aspects of parenting!  But it can also be fun and relaxed as well, you just have to take a few steps back and look at it through new eyes sometimes. 

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Hi juliechloe and Martina -- thanks for posting this question and response.  My DS is 11 months old and we are going through something very similar over here.  He is doing well on his formula intake -- probably drinking a little more than usual, but has been incredibly difficult with eating purees.  I've been attributing it to the fact that he is teething molars right now, but it didn't occur to me that maybe he doesn't want the spoon anymore.  I have tried to give him the spoon himself, but when he doesn't want a puree, he gets agitated and will just fling the spoon.  It is very hit or miss with what he will and will not eat.  For example, on Tuesday, he gobbled a YoBaby 3 in 1 yogurt that had pears and green beans in it for lunch.  I tried to give him one for dinner on Wednesday and he wouldn't even open his mouth! Sometimes I'll think I'm getting lucky and he'll start opening up, but then it's only for about 5 bites like you mentioned.  A few nights ago, I thought this phase was ending because he ate about 7 oz of baby food for dinner! No such luck, back to refusing it in the morning.  I am trying not to worry because on a rational level I know he'll eat when he's hungry, but it is so hard sometimes (which is why it is great to have this board as support!).  He is eating some finger foods which is great, but it is harder to get a sense of how much he is actually eating when he eats finger foods as opposed to purees (and I have always counted formula oz and baby food oz, as neurotic as that sounds).  I would keep trying with the finger foods.  DS was like that for awhile when he only wanted cheerios, puffs, and mum mums (actually it wasn't that long ago).  I just kept putting cut up food on his tray and eventually he tried it.  I tried to limit cheerios/puffs/mum mums to snack time (until he started trying other foods).  He still will not eat cut up veggies or fruits (I think it's a texture thing for now), but I'm going to keep trying.  Oh, the other thing that seemed to open the door to him trying new things was having him close to my plate -- he started to reach on my plate to grab things.  It is hard when he is in his regular high chair because it has a big tray so he obviously can't reach the table, but if you go out to eat, try to put the little wooden high chair close to where you're seated and move your plate towards him and see what he does.  Just an idea.

It's frustrating.  I know that my response doesn't help because I can't offer any advice on how to get him to eat the purees, but I am going to try to go with the flow a little more as Martina suggested and not obsess about it (because I have been on the verge of losing my mind with this!). 

[juliechloe]

Thank you both for your responses.  It has helped a lot.  I'm trying not to take it so seriously and do believe that she will not starve herself.  I don't try to trick her into eating another bite and she had a great dinner last night and a great breakfast this morning! Let's hope this continues!  I put some cut up veggies on her tray yesterday and she picked it up, looked at me as if to say "look!  I'm going to try it!" and she took a small lick then immediately dropped it.  I had to smile.  She likes teasing me I think.  
My other question is how much adult food can she have if any at all?  I finger fed her some fish and some tofu that we had made for ourselves (with full seasoning) and she seemed to really enjoy it.  I'm worried about the salt content.  If she wants to eat our food, can I give it to her as her meal?

Thanks again.  
I'm slowly regaining my sanity....for now

[~inbalance~]

Hi ladies!

LOs will ALWAYS go through phases where they are more interested in food and phases where they have little or no interest.  So I always tell myself whenever my boys are hardly eating that it will pass.

It's not really important to know how much they are actually eating.  With finger foods you can't measure quantity the way you can with purees.  But purees are often mostly water, where as when they are eating whole foods they're eating the actual food.

At this age LOs can eat most of what the whole family eats, but salt content is of concern.  You don't want to give your LO's any additional salt, and definitely try to avoid processed foods which already contain salt.  If you are cooking using mostly fresh items, then it should be easy to make your LO a portion before adding any salt for the adults.  Most seasonings though are ok and it's actually good to expose them to a variety of interesting flavours.

My 10.5mo eats everything we eat as a family.  At this point the only real things you still want to avoid are highly allergenic foods like nuts and shellfish, and remember no honey until at least a year.