preschool WWYD

[babybarr]

I've just typed this an then lost it   So at least you'll get the slightly shorter version

So DS is due to start preschool soon.  I work mon - thurs and we pay my mum to have him during this time.  Ideally he will attend 2 preschool sessions but they are not free atm.  It's not an option to not pay my mum if he is at preschool (complicated!) so I had planned for DS to go one afternoon when my mum has him and then the other afternoon on a Friday so we weren't paying out twice on 2 days iyswim?

My mum however has said that I shouldn't be "palming him off" on a Friday as that's my only day off and he may start resenting going.  I am a teacher though so it would only be 2.5hrs a week for 6weeks at a time.  But now I feel guilty and am not sure what to do.  Don't get me wrong I am not trying to get rid of him on a Friday however I do resent having to pay my mum even though she won't be looking after him iyswim?

So WWYD?  I guess the other option would be to ask my mum to clean our house on one afternoon that he is at preschool....however that'll go down like a lead balloon   

[Fiver]

No advice, Laura, but wanted to offer hugs.  I remember from your previous posts that there are some issues regarding your mum and childcare.  Hope you get it sorted out soon.

[Mama2boys]

Hey Laura,

Sorry the background is escaping me, but I would do as you planned, if you get 2.5 hrs on a Friday, its not like you are palming him off to sit in a SPA (although that would be perfect ), you will probably be cleaning the house, cooking etc and will get that time back from the weekend or the evenings IYKWIM, so I'd stay stick to your plan.

And if your mum repeats her ideas I would explain why you are doing what you are, and if she feels otherwise mayeb she could help withs oem household chores like cooking, shopping and/or cleaning..will tahat go down ok?

[deb]

If you're paying your mum regardless, it's up to you how you and your DS spend the time IMO.

And why the heck would your DS need to know you're not at work Fridays (unless he already does)? He's going to preschool the same as he does when you are working, so not an issue, plus he might enjoy some time being O in preschool. It shouldn't become an issue unless *someone* (your mum, maybe... ) makes it one.

[Lolly]

DD is starting pre-school in May and she will go one morning when I don't work and one morning when she is with the childminder. I really don't think there is anything wrong with getting a couple of hours when I'm not with the children and not at work - we need the Y time!

I am lucky that DD should get a place under the Flying Start scheme so we won't have to pay for her pre-school place, if I was paying twice like you will then she would definitly go when I would only be paying the once! For me, there are enough benefits to pre-school to balance out missing a couple of hours with me, and I am better for them when I have had a bit of space now and then!

Laura

[Shiv52]

I would do what you've planned Laura. I think that's totally fine.

((((hugs)))))

[koe2moe]

i think what you have planned is good.  I doubt if your mom would consider herself your cleaning lady but perhaps you can ask her to help you with grocery every week that afternoon??  or something like that that doesn't sound like she's a maid service, yk?  Or cook dinner for that night? 

[sianie]

I agree that what you have planned sounds like the best option & sorry it's a difficult situation with your Mum.

Do you get an free pre-school nursery hours at all? Not sure how it works in the UK these days...

[babybarr]

Thank you girls

I really thought you were all going to say I should keep him with me  

It was very different for my mum as she never worked and never had a career and the only thing she wanted from life was children - heck she had eight    So she doesn't quite *get it*

What I am going to do is actually see if she would do the cleaning every week and the ironing every other week cos that's what I'll be doing when O is at preschool - so we don't have it eating into our weekend.  It's just she made me feel so bad about it.  If I was only working 3 days then I'd probably feel less bad as we'd still have one whole day together but as it is on a Fri I tend to spend an hour cleaning and we do a little bit of shopping, not every week but most weeks.

Meant to add Sian - we get some free hours after the age of 3 (not sure exactly when or how many!)

[Roseii]

Do you get an free pre-school nursery hours at all? Not sure how it works in the UK these days...

The term after they turn 3 they currently get 12.5 or 15 hours (Think depending on area??) funded. They can start pre-school at 2.5yo (I plan to send DD1 for 1/2 sessions if I can get a place) and you pay approx £10 per session.

if you get 2.5 hrs on a Friday, its not like you are palming him off to sit in a SPA (although that would be perfect ), you will probably be cleaning the house, cooking etc and will get that time back from the weekend or the evenings IYKWIM, so I'd stay stick to your plan.

Completely agree with Mukta

xxx

[babybarr]

So Charli he turns 3 in June so he'd get free sessions in Sept yes?  It's 15hrs here.

So do I ask the question of my mum about the cleaning or just stick with plan A?

[Roseii]

So Charli he turns 3 in June so he'd get free sessions in Sept yes?  It's 15hrs here.

So do I ask the question of my mum about the cleaning or just stick with plan A?

I think that's right, yes

Hmmm it depends how long your mum might hold a grudge if she's p'eed off at being asked?! I'm a bit of a "anything for a quiet life" girl I must admit 

[sianie]

What do you think she'll say Laura?

I guess it depends on whether you feel it's worth the potential aggro it may cause?

Could she maybe help with your shopping or whatever, so if she's going to the supermarket etc anyway then pick stuff up for you so it's not like she's going out of her way iykwim?

[Mama2boys]

Laura,

this might be a cultural thing but I would not ask my mom to clean. I'd ask her to cook, shop, iron, wash but not clena the house...to me it feels a bit demenaing...juts being honest here...and like I said it might be my cultural mindset

[babybarr]

Mutka - totally get where you're coming from, although she does do hotel cleaning as her other job   But I know what you mean.  Couldn't get her to do the shopping DH does it and he's a fussy fart !! and she doesn't *do* cooking  

I may just tread very carefully but I am still in 2 minds