Need major help!!!! Won't sleep on his own!!!

[Kgrice]

Alright, I  have 2 kids, my 27 month old, and a 3 month old.
In December, a week or so before christmas my oldest was sick and not sleeping, so for the first time I went ahead and let him sleep with us so we could sleep. The next night he slept in his crib, and a few more nights after that as well, but then the problem started.

He wanted to sleep with us all the time, and I selfishly allowed this because with the newborn I was already losing so much sleep so to get enough I let him come in our bed... 

Hes now out of a crib and in his toddler bed, and at this point when we get him to bed we have to sit in the room and he will fall asleep in his bed but wakes up 3 hours later at his room doorway with his blankey and his bottle ( I really want to ween him off the bottle, dont know how to start it off though ) but he stands there screaming because hes so scared, and then when we try to bring him back to his bed he freaks out and wont stay...

( I would also like to get him out of the habbit of needing one of us in his room to fall asleep)

His schedule is normaly this,

7:00- wake up
7:15- breakfast
10:30- nap
12:30- lunch
3:00- snack
6:00- dinner
7:30- bath
8:15- bed

The schedule isnt always this way though, me and my husband have to run errands late when he has late days or field days. So sometime hes not in bed by 9:30...

But not only is our bed not big enough for him to be in it, but I would like to cuddle with my DH while we sleep!
Any advice is great!

-kirsten

[anna*]

Hi Kirsten. Why do you say he's scared when he wakes in the night?

His nap is very early, is there any reason why you couldn't push it to after lunch so he is not awake so long before bed? Right now he is awake for 8hrs before bed, so he is likely overtired.

[sianie]

I agree that he sounds OT.

Ideally I'd push his nap back & bring BT forward.

Has he ever been an independent sleeper? The link below might help you with some ways to help him sleep on his own....

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[Kgrice]

I say he's scared becaused that's the only reason I can think of to explain his screaming. And with some help from BW I had him on a great schedule but with new baby and we just moved and this sleeping with me different times a night its gotten very messed up.

I don't do WI/WO I have always done gradual withdraw.

[anna*]

Do you think he might just be screaming because he wants to come into your room? Like a tantrum?

[Kgrice]

That could be, I just know all of his screams and this one is just really different.

[anna*]

I guess you need to work out what you really feel it is because obviously you'll respond differently if he's having nightmares than to if he's just wanting to come in your room.

[sianie]

It could also be linked to the big changes he's had in his life; moving, new baby etc. These are all a big deal for a 27 mth old to deal with.

When I had DS, DD's sleep went a bit wonky for a while but then settled down.

If GW works for you then stick with it.

[anna*]

^^^ absolutely agree with what Sian said too.

[C&B&E]

We've been having some similar issues with our 28 month old - really screaming for up to an hour before bedtime and naps.  It started because he was afraid of 'the man at his window' (our neighbours were having some building work done and so the banging sounded like it was really close to ben's room), but then became more a prop issue as we had been stroking his hair to get him to sleep.  It has taken us a week of modified GW/WIWO to get him to the stage where *finally* today he settled for nap and bedtime without much issue, and with us out of his room.  But one thing that has been really clear is that he has been WAY worse on nights when he is OT, and so if there is any way you could push your DS nap back to a later time i think you might find it really helps.  Otherwise they are already in a total unreasonable state before you even start with bedtime!! 

xx